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  Flight Paths

Whoso Findeth a Wife:  Part 1

10/28/2013

1 Comment

 
Despite the opinion of today’s woman, who believes that being a wife is so simple she must have something real to do with her life, it is not that easy.  Christians, too, have fallen into the notion that there is nothing to it.  Rather than studying what God has said with open and understanding minds, we have accepted the stereotype handed down by society, family, even older Christians.  Whereas the older training the younger is scriptural procedure, if their training comes only from subjective experience rather than the word of God, each generation gradually drifts from the original.  Too often culture has a way of sneaking into our thinking, and whereas the Scriptures suit all cultures, not all cultures suit the Scriptures.  I can be a modern woman and still be a Christian, but only if I accept God’s word in its entirety and alter my behavior as necessary.

Yet that isn’t the way it always works.  Countless numbers read Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3 in every ladies’ Bible class, and still do not recognize their own failures as wives.  We have brainwashed ourselves into believing that because we can quote these pet scriptures, are willing to say, “My husband is the head of the house,” and at least follow the norm in the church, we are good wives.  No wonder we find it so easy!  Paul warned the Corinthians about using something other than the scriptures to measure their righteousness (2 Cor, 10:12).  One can always find someone worse than she, if she looks low enough. 

James and John both teach that saying and doing are two entirely different things (James 2:18,20; 1 John 2:4; 3:18). The same women who quote scripture will ridicule their husbands to others, even in their presence, try to deceive them and think nothing of it, and make pronouncements about what those men will and will not do “in my house.”  The friends and neighbors who see us everyday, as opposed to we who blind ourselves to our behavior, may have an entirely different opinion about who runs our homes, and the state of our marriage.

We cannot be Christians without accepting the New Testament as our guide for living, and Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, and 1 Peter 3 are rich passages for us to turn to.  But if we do not know how to apply them, their benefit is lost.  Rom 15:4 gives the Christian the authority to search out the Old Testament for other clues to what God meant a wife to be.  She will find there many simple metaphors that will give her both a broader perspective and a deeper insight into the job she has before her.  It is a few of these passages we will look at in this study.

I hope you will join me every Monday for the next few weeks as we search the scriptures for these clues to being a godly wife.

Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of Jehovah, Prov 18:22.

Dene Ward

1 Comment
anonymous
10/28/2013 06:25:41 am

Thank you Dene. I am a married male and it has pained me for years to see lesson after lesson after lesson from the pulpit by male preachers telling husbands they need to love their wives "like christ loved the church with with plenty of illustrations with the implication being the main problem with marriage lies with the husband. Atleast in my experience, very little time is spent on the need for respect a wife should show toward her husband; how lack of respect is communicated by a wife; and the impact that has on a man. I have spoke with preachers and they are honest in saying that if the spoke about the wives role too pointedly, too honestly, it could be perceived as a reflection (right or wrong) on their wife. There is a reason why older women were told to teach the younger women. They learned life's lessons the hard way like we all too often do and those lessons need to passed on to the younger women in a Godly context. Thank you for taking up this battle. A wife can be a wonderful mother, a great children's bible school teacher, filled with hospitality, volunteer for all sorts of good projects and still not provide her husband the respect and love he needs to avoid feeling lonely and possibly alienated from God. (NOTE: This does not excuse the husband from loving his wife like Christ loved the church. He is commanded to love her, no matter what. If there are problems then he needs the counsel of older, Godly men, or professional christian counseling. He must respond to life's struggles in a prayerful, Godly way regardless of how he is treated by his wife.)

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    Dene Ward has taught the Bible for more than  forty years, spoken at women’s retreats and lectureships, and has written both devotional books and class materials. She lives in Lake Butler, Florida, with her husband Keith.


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