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Waiting Rooms

3/30/2023

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I wish I had a dollar for every hour I have sat in waiting rooms in the past five years, especially at the eye clinic.  I had a 3:30 appointment once, and finally saw the doctor at 7 pm.  Then there was the time we discovered that I needed an emergency procedure.  My appointment had been at 11:00.  I was finally pronounced fit to leave at 5:30. 
            The shortest amount of time I have ever spent at the clinic is two hours.  Sometimes the doctor is overbooked because he has critical patients who simply must be seen that day; I have been one of those patients.  Sometimes he runs late because an emergency arrives that must be worked in; I have been one of those emergencies.  I can hardly complain when someone does it to me.
            Yet, even the night I had to wait until 7:00, I never doubted that I would be seen.  I have never worried that someone would forget I was there and the doctor would leave.
            It makes no sense to doubt God either.  Sometimes we must wait a long time for the answer to a prayer, but it will come.  Sometimes we must endure a trial far longer than we ever expected, but He has not forsaken us.  How long did those faithful Jews wait for their Messiah?  I have never waited that long for God, have you?
            The world thinks that because the promised second coming has not happened in 2000 years it won’t happen at all.  They think that proves God doesn’t even exist, completely ignoring the evidence of His existence all around them.  That makes about as much sense as me deciding my doctor doesn’t exist because I have been sitting here waiting for three hours now, and my fellow patient in the next seat has waited four.
            My doctor is worth the wait.
            If ever anyone was worth a longer wait, it’s God.
 
Knowing this first, that in the last days mockers shall come with mockery, walking after their own lusts, and saying, Where is the promise of his coming? For, from the day that the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation. For this they willfully forget, that there were heavens from of old, and an earth compacted out of water and amidst water, by the word of God; by which means the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished: but the heavens that now are, and the earth, by the same word have been stored up for fire, being reserved against the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men. But forget not this one thing, beloved, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.  The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some count slackness; but is longsuffering to you-ward, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance, 2 Pet 3:3-9.
 
Dene Ward
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The Wrong Diagnosis

3/20/2023

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As much time as I have spent in doctor's offices the past twenty years, I have learned a thing or two as we patients compare notes and experiences.  I have learned to trust my doctors simply because I had no choice.  Some of my conditions are so rare that I cannot even find them online to do any research to speak of, and that also means that few of us rare patients find ourselves in the same location at the same time—we are simply too scarce.  One scary thing I have learned is that doctors are not perfect, especially in the realm of the rare.  One just has to deal with it.  But so far, no one has made the wrong diagnosis, which in many cases could be catastrophic.  When you are treating the wrong ailment, the real one could be making advances that can never be undone.
            I thought of this while I was studying Mary and Martha recently.  I know, that probably leaves you scratching your head and saying, "What in the world…?"  What can I say?  My mind works in peculiar ways, especially when it is encumbered with impending medical tests, classes to be taught, and company coming all at the same time.
            So here are my crazy thoughts, in case you are interested.  Everyone, and by that I mean for the most part, anyone who stands in a pulpit and teaches that story in Luke 10, will diagnose Martha as "unspiritual."  I happened to be charting out the death of Lazarus in John 11 and was startled by what I believe the doctors might call "contraindications."  Look at the things she says to Jesus:
            Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you (John 11:21-22).  May I suggest that you go look at verse 32?  Mary said exactly the same thing—at least the first part.  The last part ("but even now…") was Martha's and Martha's only.  What did she have in mind?  A raising, perhaps?  After all, Jesus had raised two from the dead previously, the son of the widow of Nain and Jairus's daughter.  But then, this one was a bit different.  The others were either immediate or, per Jewish custom, on the same day as the death.  So maybe she wasn't quite sure, but I believe it must have crossed her mind.
            Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day (John 11:24).  This one shows her knowledge of scripture.  Even today many doubt that the Jews under the Old Law had any concept of life after death or Heaven.  How that is, I do not know.  Do you know the end of the Psalm 23?  And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  Then we have this:  But as for me I know that my Redeemer lives, And at last he will stand up upon the earth: And after my skin, even this body, is destroyed, Then without my flesh shall I see God; Whom I, even I, shall see, on my side, And my eyes shall behold, and not as a stranger… (Job 19:25-27).  Martha obviously knew those verses, and that's not the half of it.
            She said to him, Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world (John 11:27).  What had Jesus been trying without much success to do for about three years at that point?  Prove he was the Messiah.  Martha got it, even when the most "religious" and "spiritual" among that generation did not.  I dare anyone to look at this conversation with her Lord and tell me seriously that she was not a spiritual person.
            Yes, Martha had a problem, but it was not what everyone says it was.  If you notice the first incident in Luke 10, Jesus did not rebuke her until she complained about her sister.  Then in the last incident recorded about this remarkable woman in John 12, what is she doing?  "…and Martha served…" John 12:2.  There she is again, doing exactly what she was doing in Luke 10 except for one thing—she was not complaining about her sister, who was once again at Jesus's feet, this time anointing both his head and his feet (check Matthew 26).  Martha had the same problem that a lot of strong spiritually-minded people have—she looked down on others who did not serve in the same way she did. 
            Paul takes on this attitude in the famous Romans 14 controversy and quashes both sides with this statement:  Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls…(Rom 14:4).  It wasn't Martha's business to decide what Mary needed to be doing.  It isn't my business to look across the building on Sunday morning and decide that since someone isn't doing the same sort of serving I am doing, then they are wrong and need to get up and help me.  For one thing, none of us really knows how much another is doing, and sometimes the things others do would have never crossed my mind to do.  We are all different people with different abilities and different offerings to make to the Lord.
            Let's not misdiagnose Martha.  She was indeed a spiritual woman.  She knew her scripture even though as a girl she would not have been sent to the synagogue schools beyond age 12, if that far.  (My sources vary on this.)  She learned it at home from her parents, at the synagogue on the Sabbath where the Scripture was read, and for those years she followed Jesus.  But Martha was impatient and, perhaps, judgmental.  With the Lord's help, she dealt with those things and seems to have conquered them for he did not rebuke her at the second occasion.  Do you suppose we could do the same?
 
There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor? Jas 4:12).
 
Dene Ward
 
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Genes

3/16/2023

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I remember when we were jumping through insurance hoops trying to make sure my grandchildren did not inherit more than my neonatal dairy allergy. I looked into those big blue eyes that sparkled so, trying to convince myself that they looked more like theirs grandfather’s than mine.  Even if they looked exactly like mine, odds are they did not inherit the condition.  They might have been 100 times more likely to have it than any other baby, but that still makes it a one in a million chance.  It happened that way with their uncle.  The minute they put him in my arms and I saw his eyes my heart froze, but seven months later we knew he had only inherited the look, not the problem.  Still, I would have felt horrible if I had passed this on to poor little Silas and Judah, and it appears that I did not.
            There are worse things to pass on to one’s children and grandchildren.  And [Jehoram] walked in the way of the kings of Israel, as did the house of Ahab; for he had the daughter of Ahab to wife: and he did that which was evil in the sight of Jehovah... [Ahaziah] also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab; for his mother was his counselor to do wickedly… And Joram said, Make ready. And they made ready his chariot. And Joram king of Israel…went out to meet Jehu…And…he said, Is it peace, Jehu? And he answered, What peace, so long as the whoredoms of your mother Jezebel…are so many? 2 Chron 21:6; 22:3; 2 Kgs 9:21.
            Are you familiar with this narrative in the Bible?  Start in 1 Kings 16 and read through chapter 11 of 2 Kings some night when you want a really good story.  It is a little of everything:  a family saga; an action-adventure story; a political thriller.  It has a villainess of unspeakable cruelty, an underground movement, a mole in the hierarchy, and a hero who saves the day.  All of this was brought about by the evil influence Ahab and Jezebel had on their children and grandchildren. 
            Perhaps the worst of the bunch was Athaliah, their daughter, who reached the point that she could order the murder of “all the seed royal,” among them her own grandchildren.  I have always thought this woman’s crimes especially heinous but now, having held a grandchild in my arms, I know she must have reached a level of moral depravity nearly unheard of, at least among God’s people.  That is what her parents passed on to her, for the next generation always sees our inconsistencies, the line we will not cross because of the inhibiting baggage we have brought to the table.  They see that inconsistency and erase the line, taking what we have taught them to its logical end.
            I cannot control whether Silas will inherit my physical condition; but I can control my influence on his spiritual condition.  I can set an example of faith that will reinforce his in moments of trial.  I can set an example of endurance to bolster his ability to overcome.  I can show him how a mature Christian behaves, even when people are less than accommodating.  Those things I can do, if I will.
            Having children is great motivation to be and do better.  Because the end may be in sight and priorities have become clearer, having grandchildren should be the best motivation yet.
 
I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers in a pure conscience, how unceasing is my remembrance of you in my supplications, night and day longing to see you, remembering your tears, that I may be filled with joy; having been reminded of the unfeigned faith that is in you; which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois, and your mother Eunice; and, I am persuaded, in you also, 2 Tim 1:3-5.
 
Dene Ward
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Blind Spots

2/3/2023

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These days I do a field vision test at least twice a year.  What was ordinarily once a year due to the fact that it seldom changed any at all, needs to be checked more often because the changes are coming more rapidly.  The blind spots are worsening.  This last test came with actual numbers and they are downright scary.  After pondering these changes and what they could mean before much longer, my thoughts finally ran where they usually do—to spiritual matters.  Spiritual blind spots, in this case, and a little research showed me that God's Word has a lot to say about the matter.
            In the first case, unlike my physical blind spots, spiritual blind spots are almost always the fault of the one who has them.  After healing the blind man in John 9, Jesus naturally turned that around, contrasting a blind man whom he was able to heal, with men who could not be healed of their spiritual blindness.  Jesus said, For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind. Some of the Pharisees near him heard these things, and said to him, “Are we also blind?” Jesus said to them, If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains (John 9:39-41).  They were not disposed to see the truth because of their pride and self-righteousness.  Similarly, we cannot see the truth when we won't acknowledge our faults and arrogantly proclaim ourselves blameless. We do this by saying, "I have sinned, we all sin," but never confessing any specific sin, becoming, instead, miffed that anyone might think we have any.  It's a blind spot for us.
            In another place, Jesus says of the Pharisees after his disciples warned him that he had offended them, Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit (Matt 15:14).  When Jesus came debunking their traditions, the same traditions by which they held power over the common people, they were murderously angry.  The possibility of losing their power, authority, and status blinded them to the truth he taught.  What is it we are afraid of losing?  If we are not careful, it may blind us to the saving power of the Lord's teaching, and where would that blind spot leave us?
            Peter warns us of another blind spot.  For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins (2Pet 1:9).  And what qualities is he referring to?  Faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and love, those things we commonly call "the Christian graces."  Yet I have heard people downplay these items, joking about having one or two and hoping that's good enough, or simply making a statement like, "No one's perfect, so don't expect all of this out of me."  If that is how we feel about self-control or brotherly affection—perhaps the two most often pooh-poohed—then we do indeed have a blind spot about what it really means to be a Christian.  Perhaps the warning in Isaiah is pertinent here:  And he said, Go, and say to this people: ‘Keep on hearing, but do not understand; keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’ ​Make the heart of this people dull, and their ears heavy, and blind their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed (Isa 6:9-10).  Scary thought, indeed.
            And John shows us another blind spot to beware of.  But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes (1John 2:11).This one shows in all sorts of ways.  Just why do we have "issues" with a brother?  Because we disagree on a passage?  Because he "hurt my feelings"?  (Is there anything that sounds more childish?)  Because I don't like his personality?  Because he is another race?  Because he is from the wrong family?  Any sort of bias is a blind spot in our thinking, and John says that equates to walking in darkness, and Jesus also said, The one who walks in darkness does not know where he is going, John 12:35.
           John also warned the Laodiceans that self-satisfaction and complacency could blind them to their true condition before God.  ​For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked (Rev 3:17).
            Did you realize that so much was said about spiritual blindness?  Actually, this is not all of it, but enough, I hope, to get us all thinking.  My physical blind spots will probably have only one outcome.  But our spiritual blind spots can be cured as quickly and easily as Jesus healed the blind man of his day.   Let's work together for that glorious end.
 
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ (2Cor 4:4-6).
 
Dene Ward
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Full Grown

1/19/2023

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But solid food is for full-grown men, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern good and evil, Heb 5:14.
 
            I was amazed to find out that “full-grown” is more often translated “perfect,” at least in the ASV.  That is ironic to me, because while I will quickly say, “I am not perfect,” I would find myself a little miffed if I were called “spiritually immature.”  At my age?  Surely I am a mature Christian by now.
            So I looked up that Greek word and the places it is translated “perfect.”  It quickly became apparent that the word does not mean “sinless.”  While we understand that the meaning of a word varies according to its context in English, we seem to forget that when it comes to reading the Bible and talking about those Hebrew and Greek words.  Yet, in any language, the meaning of a word is limited by its use.  And so I read “mature” in every passage I found that word translated “perfect,” and found out how to recognize a mature Christian. [When you read all these passages, be sure to read “spiritually mature” every time you see “perfect.”]
            The maturity level of a Christian is shown by how he treats his enemies (Matt 5:43-48), by how he controls his tongue (James 3:2), by how attached he is to his earthly possessions (Matt 19:21).  A mature Christian is not easily deceived, not changeable from day to day, and speaks from a motivation of love, even when correcting someone, not from a desire for revenge, or from a feeling of arrogance, and certainly not to cause controversy for the sake of controversy (Eph 4:13-15).  A mature Christian will endure, (James 1:4), and in fact, stand fully assured of his salvation (Col 4:12).  When I look at those characteristics I can see that I have a way to go before I finally grow up, but at least I have some detailed areas to work on now instead of blindly aiming for some sort of vague idea of maturity or perfection.
            One time, a few years ago, one of the residents at the medical school recently told me that I did not look as old as my chart said I was.  That was a nice moment in the day, one totally unexpected (and probably not true any more).  Wouldn’t if be awful though, if he had said that I didn’t act as old as I was?  That is where the test comes—not in how long I have been a Christian, but in how much I have grown as one.
 
So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us.  God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love [made mature] with us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world, 1 John 4:16,17.
           
Dene Ward
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Medical Charts

2/22/2022

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I saw a new tech at the eye clinic the last time I was there.  Most of the others know me by sight and name, but this one couldn’t pronounce my name, so I knew she had not been there long, and certainly I had never been prepped by her before. 
            She nearly dropped my chart and said, “Wow!  This is a huge one.  Have you been coming here all your life?”  No, just eighteen years now.  If I had been going there my whole life, the chart would have been in volumes instead of just four inches thick.
            You see, everything to do with my eyes is in that chart—every test, every procedure, every surgery, every referral, every appointment of which there have been as many as three dozen in one year.  The doctor regularly writes two or three pages of notes at every visit. 
            That always makes me think of that other book being written that does cover my lifetime.  I know there are pages in it I would love to remove.  If I want them removed, imagine how a holy and righteous God feels about them.  Doesn’t that make it even more amazing when we realize that He has taken out so many?    I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, your transgressions, and, as a cloud, your sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed you, Isa 44:22.   I hope when He finished blotting out the bad, it wasn’t totally empty, that there was at least a page or two of good left.
            We sometimes seem to have that mistaken belief, that God has all the good stuff written on one side and all the bad written on the other, and that as long as there is more good than bad, we’re safe.  Wrong.  If He has any bad pages left, that means we haven’t repented of those evil things.  Sin is so bad that it only takes one unforgiven sin to cost us our souls.  When I say to the righteous, that he shall surely live; if he trust to his righteousness, and commit iniquity, none of his righteous deeds shall be remembered; but in his iniquity that he has committed, therein shall he die, Ezek 33:13.  We simply don’t understand the enormity of sin when we treat any of them as small and inconsequential. 
            The next time you visit the doctor, take a look at that chart.  How large is it?  Imagine one a hundred times bigger, and then remember that probably a million or so pages have been removed due to the grace of God, and rejoice.
 
And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat upon it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne; and books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of the things which were written in the books, according to their works…And if any was not found written in the book of life, he was cast into the lake of fire, Rev 20:11,12,15.
 
Dene Ward
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Jesus and the Speech Police

8/6/2021

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I saw it on Facebook when I was quickly flipping through, and I immediately felt outraged.  How dare someone use my husband's and my disabilities to chime in on the nonsense that our culture seems to have fallen into.  What I saw was a list of things we shouldn't say any more.  We should not say, "I was blind to…;" we should say, "I was unaware of that."  We shouldn't say, "That was tone-deaf;" we should say, "That was inappropriate, or insulting."  In the first place, whoever made up this list must have no idea what "tone-deaf" really means—someone who cannot hear the difference in musical tones.  I never in my life heard it used any other way, and I am not exactly young.  In the second, there is a real difference in someone who is simply unaware of a fact and someone who refuses to see it.
           And if you insist on the nearly useless phrases, "vision- or hearing-impaired," you have to be much more specific.  Blind is usually 100% blind, unless it is qualified with a word like, "legally."  Vision-impaired can be just about any percentage.  So are you going to stop the person and ask before you label them or take a chance on getting the percentage completely wrong, which you probably will?  My husband is deaf.  But how deaf?  "Profoundly deaf," which is 90%, but might as well be 100% because he can stand beneath a blaring commercial fire alarm and not hear it.  "Hearing impaired" doesn't begin to explain all that.  I am beginning to think that we disabled folks are a whole lot tougher than the able-bodied people out there who come up with these things.
            Jesus, in fact, would be castigated by these people.  Look at John 9.  John, the apostle who wrote this gospel, tells us the man in verse 1 was "blind."  The apostles called him "blind" (verse 2).  The Pharisees called him "blind" (verse 19).  His own parents said he was "blind" (verse 20).  The man himself said he had been "blind" (verse 20).  And then, lo and behold, Jesus does the unthinkable and talks about being spiritually "blind" (verses 39.40).  Didn’t he know that was offensive to the blind people out there?
            And this is not the only time he did things like this. 
            This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand (Matt 13:13).
            ​Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember?  (Mark 8:18).
            He has blinded their eyes and hardened their heart, lest they see with their eyes, and understand with their heart, and turn, and I would heal them (John 12:40).
            And just as the above quote Jesus took from Isaiah, that prophet and others used the same type of language Jesus did.
            ​Make the heart of this people dull, and their ears heavy, and blind their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed (Isa 6:10).
            ​His watchmen are blind; they are all without knowledge; they are all silent dogs; they cannot bark, dreaming, lying down, loving to slumber (Isa 56:10).
            This was for the sins of her prophets and the iniquities of her priests, who shed in the midst of her the blood of the righteous. They wandered, blind, through the streets; they were so defiled with blood that no one was able to touch their garments (Lam 4:13-14).
            I will bring distress on mankind, so that they shall walk like the blind, because they have sinned against the LORD; their blood shall be poured out like dust, and their flesh like dung (Zeph 1:17).
            Even Paul uses the same metaphor. 
            And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled in them that perish: in whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of the unbelieving, that the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should not dawn upon them (2Cor 4:3-4).
            I think that's enough to make my point.  We are getting entirely too arrogant in our policing the speech of others when that same policing condemns the apostles, the prophets, and Jesus himself.  No, if you want to show compassion on the disabled, please don't think words are either the problem or the cure.  My little children, let us not love in word, neither with the tongue; but in deed and truth (1John 3:18).  Show your compassion with deeds as well.
            In the past year my profoundly deaf husband, who must read lips, has been treated like a pariah.  He has been shooed out of the Alachua County Library because he dared tell them he couldn't understand what they were saying with their masks on.  A nurse in a doctor's office refused to either take down her mask or write down her instructions, and this right before a medical procedure when he needed to know what she was saying.  Another nurse in another office spoke to him harshly when he told her he needed to read her lips, yet refused to allow me in to interpret for him.  And all this in a decidedly left leaning county that claims to have far more compassion on the disabled than their political opposites.
            But for those of us who claim Jesus as our Lord, how can we love the disabled in deed rather than merely word?  Stop making power point the be-all-and-end-all for hymns and class and sermon notes.  How many times have I heard a teacher or preacher say, "I won't take the time to go over all these passages, but you can take them down and study them at home?"  No, I can't.  If they are important perhaps you could print out a copy for those of us who can't see the screen--large print, please. 
               There may be some like me who can manage a hymnal with glasses or a magnifier if you will kindly have the books handy and please announce the name of the song rather than just starting to sing "because it's up on the screen."  Those few seconds might mean someone can find the song and only miss part of a verse instead of half or more of the song trying to figure out the title and look it up.
              Please stop having prayers mumbled from the back pew.  It isn't just the deaf who do better reading lips.  And when you do stand in front of the mike, keep your head up and speak out even if it sounds "too loud" to you. 
           
I have asked for these kinds of things over and over and over, as politely as possible, and it seems to do little good.  In fact, if you will excuse me, it falls on "deaf" ears—and no, my husband does not mind me putting it that way.  We have actually had people refuse to do them, even after we explained.

            And stop the speech police.  Lists like the one I mentioned at the beginning of this article offend me in at least two ways.  First, they assume that I am such a weak, whiny wimp that I will be insulted by such petty things.  I have been living with far worse my entire life, and I think I am strong enough to handle it.  And second, they make other people uncomfortable even trying to talk to us as a couple.  Believe me, I had far rather have someone actually pay attention to us and possibly say something a little insensitive, than have everyone too afraid to even try.
            Let's see if we can't love one another as the scriptures say rather than making problems where there aren't any.

 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1Cor 13:4-7).

 Dene Ward

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Just A  Cold

1/21/2021

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Note:  I wrote this over ten years ago.  It has nothing to do with Covid.

It was just a cold.  The first day I lost my voice and sneezed a lot.  The second day I started coughing, a deep cough that felt like it scraped the bottom of my lungs.  The third day I started wheezing and my temperature rose over 100.  The fourth day the headache started.  The fifth day my shoulders, neck, and back began aching and I could not get comfortable no matter how or where I lay or sat.  The sixth day it climbed into my head.  I could no longer breathe, smell, or taste.  The seventh day I lost my hearing and my ears began to ache.  Meanwhile, all the other symptoms continued.  The eighth day my temperature fell a degree below normal, but I felt a little better—very little.  Eventually it did go away, but the cough lingered for weeks.  Why in the world do we always say, “It was just a cold?”
            Maybe it’s habit. 
            “I was just ten minutes late.”
            “I was just ten miles over the speed limit.”
            “It was just a song service.”
            “It was just a little fib.”
            “I was just so tired and frustrated.”
            “It was just this once.”
            Always excusing ourselves with that little word, making every bad judgment call or “little” sin unimportant—where does it stop?  How big do they have to be before we stop using that word?
            What could God have said about us?  David knew full well when he said in the 8th Psalm, What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?  Indeed, God could have said, “They’re just people.  Why bother?” and we would have had no answer for that, especially the way we so often use that word to rationalize less than stellar behavior.
            Yet Jehovah, the Word, and the Spirit got together before they made anything else, and came up with a plan so that they could keep fellowship with men, no matter how sinful they had become.  That plan involved sacrifice on their parts, but it made men once again presentable to them.  For some reason, they thought we were worth it.
            Think about that the next time you try to excuse yourself with that word “just.” 
 
I give you thanks, O LORD, with my whole heart; before the gods I sing your praise.  I bow down toward your holy temple and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased. All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks,  O LORD, for they have heard the words of your mouth, and they shall sing of the ways of the LORD, for great is the glory of the LORD. For though the LORD is high, he regards the lowly, but the haughty he knows from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.  Psa 138.
 
Dene Ward
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Blessed Are They That Mourn

1/8/2021

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Just the other day I was asked how our congregation managed this past, crazy year.  Stupid me, I was just getting ready to say that I feared that trial of a year had hurt the faith of the weak, that several families had moved to other, closer, congregations who had not stopped meeting, and that we no longer had visitors from the community as often as before.  Before I could get any of that out, he added, "Have many gotten the virus?  How many have you lost to it?"  Ah.  So that's what he meant.  Why was I so surprised?
            I suppose my biggest disappointment during all of this is the small concern others have shown over the harm caused the spread of the gospel.  We don't dare invite people to services or even into our homes for a study.  If a few do come we greet them with thermometers instead of open arms.  We aren't allowed in the hospitals and nursing homes to visit and hold services.  My husband's own prison ministry was called to a halt by the state for several months and now that he is allowed back in he is limited to one third the number he had attending before, no matter the size of the room, or the number who desire to come, and even with masks on.  Plus the inmates now have to do paperwork to request a pass to attend, something they never had to do before, and sometimes that paperwork gets lost or delayed and interested people cannot be there.  When I mention these things, does anyone express any grief over the souls that are being lost?  No.  We're too busy counting virus cases, most of which people recover from.
            I wonder what Paul might think if he were alive today.  What keeps coming to me is his exuberant joy when he heard that the gospel was being preached, even while he was in prison, even while he was in chains, even while people were attempting to cause him even more trouble while doing it.  What does he say about that?  "I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice, " (Phil 1:12-18).
             This is not to make light of the virus.  I am truly sorry that some people have died.  I know personally some who are grieving and I have ached for them, prayed for them, and done the little I was still allowed to do for them.  But for the life of me, I cannot understand why we as the people of God are not openly grieving over the harm done to the cause of Christ, why someone isn't standing up and saying, "This is hurting the spread of the gospel," and weeping aloud about it; "This is killing the ones who were already weak," and bewailing it.
            Greeting one another with a holy kiss" (Rom 16:16; 1 Cor 16:20; 2 Cor 13:12; 1 Thes 5:26)—or holy hug, or holy embrace, or holy handshake, or holy however your culture greets—cannot be done over a computer monitor or a smart phone.  We cannot "show hospitality one to another" (1 Pet 4:9) when we are sequestered in our homes.  What does our reward depend upon?  In part, it comes because we have not neglected the Lord Himself by neglecting to visit the "fatherless and widows" (James 1:27) and those who were "sick and in prison" (Matt 25:36).   Except we have been prevented from doing exactly that.  But it seems not to matter at all because we certainly haven't caught the virus, have we?  Rejoice!
           We two are being careful, yes.  We are in that "high risk" group.  We have managed to stay well, despite taking a few chances here and there, like Keith continuing to go to the prison whenever they allow it, and both of us holding the Bible studies in our home and the willing homes of others that were in place before the world fell apart.  And it hasn't kept us from mourning as we see the damage being done to precious souls.  If the church had a flag, it ought to be at half-mast.  Their bodies may be hale and hearty, but the spiritually weak are dying in droves every day as long as this continues, and at a far higher percentage than the physically ill.  But do we care?  Nope.  Not as long as they don't catch the virus. 
           Well, they did catch the virus, the truly deadly one, the one that is always fatal unless the Great Physician heals us of it.  But, God forgive us, no one seems to be mourning over that.
 
I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit— that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh. Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved.  (Rom 9:1-3; 10:1).
For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ (Phil 3:18).
 
Dene Ward
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Waiting Rooms

10/29/2020

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I wish I had a dollar for every hour I have sat in waiting rooms in the past five years, especially at the eye clinic.  I had a 3:30 appointment once, and finally saw the doctor at 7 pm.  Then there was the time we discovered that I needed an emergency procedure.  My appointment had been at 11:00.  I was finally pronounced fit to leave at 5:30. 
            The shortest amount of time I have ever spent at the clinic is two hours.  Sometimes the doctor is overbooked because he has critical patients who simply must be seen that day; I have been one of those patients.  Sometimes he runs late because an emergency arrives that must be worked in; I have been one of those emergencies.  I can hardly complain when someone does it to me.
            Yet, even the night I had to wait until 7:00, I never doubted that I would be seen.  I have never worried that someone would forget I was there and the doctor would leave.
            It makes no sense to doubt God either.  Sometimes we must wait a long time for the answer to a prayer, but it will come.  Sometimes we must endure a trial far longer than we ever expected, but He has not forsaken us.  How long did those faithful Jews wait for their Messiah?  I have never waited that long for God, have you?
            The world thinks that because the promised second coming has not happened in 2000 years it won’t happen at all.  They think that proves God doesn’t even exist, completely ignoring the evidence of His existence all around them.  That makes about as much sense as me deciding my doctor doesn’t exist because I have been sitting here waiting for three hours now, and my fellow patient in the next seat has waited four.
            My doctor is worth the wait.
            If ever anyone was worth a longer wait, it’s God.
 
Knowing this first, that in the last days mockers shall come with mockery, walking after their own lusts, and saying, Where is the promise of his coming? For, from the day that the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation. For this they willfully forget, that there were heavens from of old, and an earth compacted out of water and amidst water, by the word of God; by which means the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished: but the heavens that now are, and the earth, by the same word have been stored up for fire, being reserved against the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men. But forget not this one thing, beloved, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.  The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some count slackness; but is longsuffering to you-ward, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance, 2 Pet 3:3-9.
 
Dene Ward
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    Dene Ward has taught the Bible for more than  forty years, spoken at women’s retreats and lectureships, and has written both devotional books and class materials. She lives in Lake Butler, Florida, with her husband Keith.


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