The last in the series. 

After I read the book to my grandsons, I took it and looked on every page, up and down, backwards and forwards and could not find her.  I knew He-Did-It Harriet was in there somewhere.  Then I began looking for torn out pages.  Nope.  The book was intact.  Finally, I remembered where she was—in my class's imagination.  They told me the book was incomplete, that several people were missing.  So I told them to come up with the missing children themselves, and they did.  After all these years, Harriet is the only one I remember.
 
             He-Did-It-Harriet has several problems.  First, she's the tattletale.  It isn't that she cares about people and whether they might get hurt—she wants them to get in trouble.  Do you think adults don't think the same way sometimes?  Usually after you point out a problem they have.  "Maybe what I did was wrong, but you…"  Or "brother so and so," Or "sister whatsis."  Tattling on anyone to divert the attention of the elders, the preacher, or any other kind soul who is simply trying to help.  Harriet needs to be told in no uncertain terms that what anyone else did does not make her sins okay.

              Harriet's other problem, especially as an adult, is to blame everyone else for her sin.  "But I'm a victim," she says of poor parenting, of a violent culture, or abuse of one sort or another.  And especially, "He was mean to me.  That's why I quit going to church."  You mean, you allowed someone else to cause you to abandon the Lord who gave his life for you?  That same Lord said, "If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch."  He said through his prophet Ezekiel, "The soul that sins, he shall die."  My sin is my fault because I let it happen, not because of anything anyone else did.  Never in the Bible will you find a place where someone else's failings actually excused the sin of another.

              And Harriet will never see her own failures.  I have lived long enough to know that practically every problem between two people has two sides.  Harriet, though, sees only her side.  She will judge the motives of others and criticize their actions and words, demanding an apology.  When the other side does this too, things will never be straightened out.  But what often happens is the other side will read in their Bible, "Love covers a multitude of sins," and though they, too, were hurt, they will be the first to proffer the demanded apology, hoping for one in return, and when they don’t get it from the self-absorbed Harriet, just go along for the sake of unity and peace in the family or the church rather than make their own demands.  Harriet is so wrapped up in herself that she will never recognize this fact:  one apology almost always demands one in return because no one is perfect.

              Our entire culture is full of He-Did-It Harriets, people who refuse to take accountability for their actions and blame everything and everyone they can for their failings.  When we let that invade the church, even taking up for the Harriets out there who try to blame it on the preachers, teachers, elders, and caring brothers and sisters who dared to tell her she was wrong, we give the Devil a victory.  He has won Harriet, but he has also won anyone else who sees her get away with sin and still be accepted as a part of what should be a holy brotherhood.  Now they know exactly how they can get away with it, too.

              The children did not know when they made up Harriet that this one might be the most important one of all.  Or maybe they did.  Maybe they have seen it too long among their playmates and while they cannot see from experience the evil that is wrought by them, something in them saw a problem.

              If you should use this book with your children or your Bible classes, try this simple exercise.  Have them come up with characters they do not like to be around and do not want to grow up to be like.  Children are far wiser than we sometimes think.
 
He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (Gen 3:11-13).
 
And Moses said to Aaron, “What did this people do to you that you have brought such a great sin upon them?” And Aaron said, “Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil. For they said to me, ‘Make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’ So I said to them, ‘Let any who have gold take it off.’ So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.” (Exod 32:21-24).
 
And Saul said to Samuel, “I have obeyed the voice of the LORD. I have gone on the mission on which the LORD sent me. I have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and I have devoted the Amalekites to destruction. But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the best of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the LORD your God in Gilgal.” And Samuel said, “Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has also rejected you from being king.” (1Sam 15:20-23).
 
Dene Ward

Silas and Judah stay with for a few days nearly every year, and they always leave me with great stories to tell and lessons to learn.  This one was several years ago.
 
             The first morning we gathered up swimsuits, towels and water toys for a trip to their great-grandmother’s (“Gran-Gran”) in a subdivision with a pool at the community center.  We nabbed the pool pass off her wall and headed down the shady lane with mounting excitement only to find a sign posted on the gate to the pool:  “The pool is temporarily closed due to health concerns.”

              They did as well as they could, for a five-year-old and a two-year-old, at hiding their disappointment, but on the trip home Keith and I were desperately trying to come up with a solution.  Finally we hit upon one.  Our neighbor owns a veterinary supply business.  Many of his products come in bright blue plastic barrels slightly larger than 55 gallon drums, which he empties as he fills smaller bottles for his customers.  He often gives us the empties which we wash out and use for all sorts of things.  We happened to have two that were cut down to about two feet deep.

              Granddad rolled those tubs out to the yard in the shade of the huge live oaks on the west side of the house and filled them with water.  Then we divvied up plastic cups and water guns and plopped a little boy in each tub along with all the paraphernalia.  As children will, especially kids as bright as these, they soon had a good game or two going, and we grandparents managed to stay out of the way of most of the water, if not all of it, especially those extra long squirts from the water guns.

              Then Silas, the older boy, came up with the best game, the one that splashed the most water and got him the wettest.  He stood up as tall as he could, and to the cry of “Cowabunga!” lifted both feet in a big jump and landed on his seat in the tub.  The water displacement alone was awesome, especially for such a skinny little boy.  He usually wound up with his head barely above the water, even choking on it occasionally.  Good thing those tubs were well-washed.

              Judah adores his big brother.  If Silas does it, he does it.  If Silas says it, he says it too.  Or at least tries.  But he is not without at least some measure of caution.  I watched as he considered his brother’s maniacal call and monumental splash.  He seemed to weigh things for a moment and then finally came to a decision.  “Cowabunda!” he cried, which was a little easier to say, then jumped up in the air, landing on his feet and squatting carefully in his own little blue tub.  Even being several inches shorter, more of him stayed out of the water and the splash was much less.  He may have imitated his brother’s actions, but he had not made the same commitment.

              And that is often where our Christianity stops.  We make a good show of it, but the heart isn’t there.  When the time of sacrifice comes, when we might end up floundering in deep water, it’s asking too much.  Which is exactly what the Lord does ask for—everything.

              In those classic commitment passages of Luke 9 and 14, he makes it plain that nothing can be more important to you than he is.  Not comfort and convenience (9:57,58); not family (9:59,60; 14:20); not business (14:18); not possessions (14:19); nothing can get in the way.  Then we have one that I had a hard time figuring out.

              Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.”  Luke 9:61.  We already have several references to family relationships, especially when you add “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,” and the like.  Then I remembered the call of Elisha.  He too asked Elijah if he could go home and kiss his parents goodbye, and yes, Elijah allowed him to not only do that, but to prepare a feast with the very oxen he had been plowing with at his call (1 Kgs 19:19-21).  Surely Jesus was referring to this well-known bit of Jewish history when he said, “No, you cannot go home and say goodbye.”

              So perhaps it means, “I am even more important than a great prophet like Elijah,” the one most Jews considered the greatest prophet of all.  To make such an assertion was astounding, and to follow Jesus as he required meant one accepted that claim too.  Yes, Jesus asked for it all, even placing your social and religious life on the line by accepting his teaching and claims.

              You can’t dip your toes in the water and claim to be his disciple.  You have to take the plunge, even if it means landing hard and choking on the water when you do.  If you’re scared of making waves in your little blue tub of a world, chances are you have never made the commitment you should have.
 
And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.  For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels, Luke 9:23-26.
 
Dene Ward

Picky Pete is another character from the book in the table manners section.  He is the child who will only eat about 5 things—if you are lucky—and it must be the correct brand prepared in the correct way or it doesn't count.  If you have a Picky Pete—and I did—you must eventually teach him to gratefully accept what is placed before him.  Unless he has a certifiable illness or allergy, it is rude not to.  In the first place, someone has worked long and hard to prepare that meal.  In the second, and most important, God has provided it, and that is the only reason he is not starving.  (But parents, cleaning your plate is not predicated on the children in China, okay?)
 
             We had a rule in our house.  You try everything once.  And if you ever say, "Yuk!" (or "Eeew" or any other such word of disgust) you have to eat a double serving.  At least I was never embarrassed at someone else's house that way, and they did discover that some things they thought might be awful actually tasted pretty good.

              The problem with Picky Pete is that the more he is catered to, the worse he gets.  And when he grows up, it will show in ways that are much more of a problem. 

              Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers.  (2Tim 2:14 )

              Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.  (2Tim 2:23 )

              As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. (1Tim 1:3,4 )

              Pay special attention to that last one.  Folks, we are not talking about doctrine.  God expects exact obedience.  You cannot honestly study the whole Bible and come up with any other conclusion.  But some things are just not worth bringing up, especially in a mixed group of beginners and older Christians.  They will cause more confusion than clarity.  And you know exactly what I am talking about.  Picky Pete loves these things, and he doesn't care whose faith he ruins, just so he can get a good argument going.  Wise, considerate people who enjoy discussing those trickier things, and whose faith is mature enough to handle it, know that is it better to get together privately to do so.

              Picky Pete is not about details—God expects us to faithfully follow the pattern.  No, Picky Pete is about causing a ruckus regardless the collateral damage.
 
He is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth... 1 Tim 6:4,5
 
Dene Ward

In the book, Messy Bessy is a brown-haired, pigtailed cutie--until you look closer.  She is leaning over her plate at the table, both arms splayed out, cramming food in her mouth two-fistedly.  Her cheeks are smeared and the table is strewn with food. 
 
             It's one thing for a one year old to end up with half his meal on his cheeks.  I have a cute picture of Lucas after his first plate of spaghetti.  He is red from fingertips to shoulders, and ear to ear.  The only reason it wasn't worse is that I had the sense to tie, not a bib, but one of my kitchen aprons around his neck.  But by the time he was Bessy's age, he could eat neatly, if still voraciously.

              It is an absolute shame that we need to mention grown up Messy Bessys in the church, but they are there.  Have you ever looked at a theater floor after a movie, or the grandstand after a ball game?  Spilled drinks, scattered popcorn, empty boxes, sunflower seed hulls, and a few things I hate to even ask about lie there for the cleaning crew to take care of.  Unfortunately, some church meetinghouses look nearly as bad.  All sorts of papers litter the pews from lesson sheets to bulletins to candy wrappers, cough drop wrappers, cookie and cracker crumbs, and spilled Cheerios.  The bathrooms aren't much better, with soiled paper towels thrown everywhere but the trash can, toilets unflushed, and water dripping off the counters. 

              No one should have to clean up my mess but me.  A mature adult knows that.  What kind of impression are we leaving on visitors?  And just what do we think we are teaching our children?  Where is the spirit of "Lord, Make Me a Servant" that we sing so sincerely?  No, we expect some other servant somewhere to come in and pick up after us the way our Mama used to.  Do we still need her to tag along?

               And what does grown up Messy Bessy do?  She still has little concern for how the church looks to outsiders.  She will trash it with her complaints about how it is run, with the slander she spreads about her brothers and sisters, and with her ridicule of the preacher and his work.  She will spread its dirty laundry for all to see, even that which has been cleaned "white as snow" by the Lord through repentance.  Then when none of her friends are interested in coming to church with her, she is ready to accuse them of a lack of spirituality. 

            All of the things we have talked about in this series may start with a simple childhood fault, but every one of them has led to something far more sinister spiritually.  If I cannot keep my space neat literally, what will happen to my heart?  If the first comes from a don't-care attitude and a lack of personal responsibility, so will the second—a mess of a life that breaks hearts and ruins souls.
             
              Clean up your act, Bessy.  Grow up and be accountable.
 
Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (Col 4:5-6)
and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders…(1Thess 4:11-12).
 
Dene Ward
 

My grandniece has Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 1.  SMA1 is a disease that causes progressive loss of motor neurons, leading to muscle weakness and atrophy.  Type 1 usually shows in babies 6 months and under.  The infants will have difficulty moving, eating, breathing, and swallowing.  They will be unable to lift their heads on their own and unable to sit up on their own.  Most victims of this disease do not survive past age 2 due to respiratory failure.  Abigail has already survived the odds, having turned four this year, but her life is not an easy one.
 
             Abigail must often be rushed to the hospital.  Even a simple cold could be the end.  She recently gave us a fright as she was once again loaded into an ambulance and carted off first to an ER and then a PICU.  Abigail takes it all in stride, and today she is going to teach us a lesson we all need to hear. 

              My niece, Abigail's mother, recently posted the following on Facebook:

             "Abigail's full name is Abigail Andreia (on-DRAY-uh) Saltz.
          [Her father] was very partial to "Abigail," and I...was not. He always wanted purely Biblical names for our children and I told him we could use Abigail IF he could think of a middle name that had three syllables, accent on the second syllable. He stretched his Biblical names rule by choosing a Greek word for her middle name meaning "brave," because it seemed a fitting descriptor for the queen we were naming her after and an admirable quality to live up to.
              Wow. The things you don't know.
            I have told Abigail what her middle name means so many times now that she thinks her *actual name* is Abigail Andreia Brave Saltz. When she has to do something scary she says, 'Gimme a minute. I' takin' away da Andreia and da Saltz so all I have is da Brave. Brave means being still even when you're scared.'
             Today the IV techs marveled at how still she was while putting in her IV.
           And this is what people mean when they say their children teach them far more than they teach their children."

              Abigail has always been the happiest child I have ever known.  I always suspected she was brave—children who have physical difficulties often are because of the things they experience from early on.  Now I know exactly how she does it.  She "takes away" the names that might be in the way so she can make use of the name that counts--Brave.
 
             Can I ask you this morning, what names do you need to take away?  The only name that should count for you is Christian—a child of God, a disciple of Christ.  That name will give you strength when temptations arise.  It will give you peace and contentment when you don't understand.  It will give you courage and steadfastness when trials beset your soul. 

            And why is that?  Because through that name we have life (John 20:31), we have hope (Matt 12:21), we have justification (1 Cor 6:11), we have remission of sins (Acts 10:43) and salvation (Acts 4:12).  We also have absolutely no excuse for failure because the one who wore that name left the example for us to follow, and said it was possible to do so.

              Four year old Abigail knows the power of a name.  Remember the name you wear.  Take away all the others and use that one to be faithful to the end.
 
Let them praise your great and awesome name! Holy is he! (Ps 99:3).

Dene Ward
 

Sulky Sue is a cute little blond, whose angelic expression can turn ugly in an instant.  Whenever she doesn't get her way, she screams, pouts, holds her breath, or otherwise makes the entire family miserable.  Mom and Dad have given in to her tantrums so often that she has come to expect everything to go as she wishes.  They are now just plain scared of her.

              So what happens when Sue grows up?  She still expects to get everything she wants, and whoever is in the way will be sorry if she does not.  Complaining has become her way of life.  She is not happy unless there is something to gripe about.  And gripe she will, even to the point of public scenes.  Preachers, teachers, elders and deacons instantly tense up when they see her approaching.  Is Sue happy today, or did I do something else to upset her?

              Grown-up Sue has never outgrown the egocentrism of a child.  She sits back and watches, gathering more and more "righteous" anger each day that passes because, you see, everyone is out to get her.  Even family and friends are guilty of treating her unfairly, and with "malice aforethought."  Nothing is ever accidental, and everyone always has her in mind when they say or do anything.  

              I once sat and talked with an older woman for about thirty minutes.  In that short amount of time, she said, "_______ didn't like me and wanted to cause me trouble," three different times about three different people.  I so badly wanted to ask, "And what did those three have in common?  Having to deal with YOU."  But I did not.  Maybe I was scared of her, too.

              Sue has let bitterness soak into her soul.  She is never happy, at least not for long.  She is looking for trouble everywhere.  She takes everything personally, makes mountains out of molehills, and blames God for giving her a miserable life.  For some reason, it never crosses her mind that she has pouted and moaned herself into becoming a crabby, peevish, irritable old woman (or man), and she cannot understand why people stay away from her.  Tell her to count her blessings and you will be counting the days, months, or years until she speaks to you again.  But it will probably be a great relief!
 
              Life never goes the way we plan.  Get your child used to the fact that he will have to patiently put up with drivers he thinks are idiots, bosses he can hardly stand, teachers he thinks are unfair, and neighbors who are nuisances.  Tell him to "Get over it!"  It happens to everyone and he is not so special that it will not happen to him too. 

             God's people have hope even in the midst of sorrow.  Sulky Sue is too wrapped up in herself to see beyond this world to the glory of the next.
 
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.  2 Cor 4:17,18
 
Dene Ward

I could hardly believe it when Silas reached kindergarten age.  How in the world had that happened so quickly?  When he found out he had to go back the second week, he said, “You mean I have to go again?!”
 
             “Yes,” his mother told him, “there is a lot to learn.”

              “But I already learned,” he said, sure that now he would get to stay home with her and his little brother.  Of course, he found out otherwise quickly.

              I know that no one would say it out loud, but sometimes I get the feeling some of my brothers and sisters have the same attitude.  “I already learned!” which is supposed to justify their never studying for a Bible class, never attending an extra Bible study, never darkening the meetinghouse doors for anything but the Lord’s Supper, as if it were a magic potion that would save them that week regardless of anything else they did.  What they have “learned” are usually the pet scriptures, the catchphrases, the simplistic theories that try to explain away the profound depth of the Scriptures—all those things that smack so much of a denominational mindset.

              I have amazing women in my Bible classes, and let me tell you, most of them are neither young nor new Christians.  These are women of a certain age, as we often say, who have sat on pews for longer than many others have been alive, yet they see the value in learning still more. 

              And that does not necessarily mean learning something new.  Sometimes the learning has more to do with a deeper comprehension, uncovering another level of wisdom, or an additional way of applying a fact to one’s life, leading to a changed behavior or attitude.  When I see someone in their later years actually change their lives because of a discovery made in Bible class, I am reminded yet again of the power of the Word.  The most amazing thing about this living and active Word, is that if you are not blinded by self-satisfaction, every time you study it you can see something new.  It’s like peeling an onion—you keep finding another layer underneath.

              You may have “already learned” a great many things, but if that is your attitude, you will never grow beyond the boundaries you have placed upon yourself with that notion.  Like a kindergartner who has learned his letters and numbers, you will be stuck in the basics, the “first principles,” and never come to a fuller comprehension of the magnitude of God’s wisdom and His plan for you.  If you are still deciding how long to keep a preacher based upon how much you “enjoy” his preaching and how many times he visited you in the hospital, if you are mouthing things like “I never heard of such a thing” or “I am (or am not) comfortable with that,” with not a scripture reference in sight, you still have a long way to go. 

              God wants meat-eaters at His banquet.  That means you need to chew a little harder and longer.  Yes, it takes time away from recess to sit in class and learn some more.  Yes, you have to process some new information which may not be as comfortable as you are used to.  Your brain may even ache a little, but that is how you learn, by stretching those mental muscles instead of vegetating on the pew.

              You may think you have “already learned,” but I bet you even my kindergartner grandson figured out very shortly that there was a whole lot more he needed to know.  He’s a pretty smart kid.  How about you?
 
Whom will he teach knowledge? and whom will he make to understand the message? them that are weaned from the milk…Isa 28:9.
Wherefore leaving the doctrine of the first principles of Christ, let us press on unto perfection…Heb 6:1.
 
Dene Ward

In the book, Me-First Millie looks a whole lot like That's-Mine-Thelma (part 2), and indeed, they have the same basic problem:  selfishness.  She is also a bit like Look-at-Me-Louie (part 1).  But Millie's problem tends to show itself in slightly different ways.

              Grown-up Millie not only wants attention, she wants the most attention.  She must be first on the list.  No one's issues are as important as hers. 

              She will insinuate herself and her woes into every conversation.  If you have never discussed someone who desperately needed help for a dire problem only to have Millie interrupt you to tell you that she needed it too, you have been blessed.  If you have had a disease, she has had it worse.  If you had a major surgery, she not only had it, but also had all the complications known to man.  Whatever happened to you, it happened to her worse or better, depending upon the discussion.

              This selfishness shows in other more mundane ways too.  Millie thinks that her schedule is the only schedule that matters.  She is late to everything, every time, everywhere.  Then she cannot understand why people who have had to sit and wait on her for upwards of a half hour become aggravated about it.  She has stolen their time, but for some reason she thinks that is her prerogative.

              Millie will sit at home and wait to be served.  Even if she is perfectly healthy, there is some reason she must be checked on—again and again and again.  Millie not only believes that she deserves everyone's service, she will even dare to tell you exactly how she wants it ministered if it is to please her.  We once had a family move into the area where we lived at the time, who called the church building in order to inform the local brethren when they would arrive, how many people they needed to help them unload, and exactly when they wanted it done.  Oh yes, and someone might also bring some lunch for everyone that day too!  It is one thing to ask if help might possibly be available; it's quite another to demand it

            Millie is exactly the opposite of Lydia.   When that great lady was converted to the Lord, the first thing she said to Paul and Silas was, "If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay" Acts 16:15.  She knew instinctively that being a disciple of the Suffering Servant meant serving others instead of expecting them to serve her. 

             And when we all have that attitude, no one does without.
 
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.  As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.  1 Pet 4:9-11
 
Dene Ward

Even in the book, That's Mine Thelma is not a cute child.  Her short, curly brown hair could have made her another Shirley Temple, but the scorn on her face as she snatches a book out of another child's hands is just plain ugly.  No one else can play with her toys.  She is the epitome of selfishness that we all try to teach our children not to be.  Some do better than others.  Sometimes That's Mine Thelma grows up with exactly the same name.

              She is unkind, miserly with others, and always worried about "my rights."  She won't give up anything for anyone else, even in the name of saving souls.  (Can we mention pews and parking places here?)  Keith was once told that the articles he placed in the newspaper were a waste of the church's money (it was a pittance), even though we had the results of those articles sitting on the pews!  Unfortunately, the bulk of that congregation, except for those new converts, was made up of Thelmas.

              Thelma even views the church as her property.  When new people come in, she sits in judgment as to whether they deserve to be greeted and shown the gospel.  If they do not match her status in the community, if they have any problems at all in their lives, they are rejected.  Yes, Keith actually had a men's business meeting tell him he was bringing the wrong class of people to church (failing to mention that he was the only one bringing any guests at all).  He, like Jesus, was preaching to the publicans and sinners, while they wanted a few more Pharisees among them.  They believed the church was theirs instead of the Lord's, and they should decide who could come in.  "It's mine!"  they all thought.

              That's Mine Thelma does not believe Eph 4:28:  Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.  No sir.  Her money is for her and hers alone.  She is quick to quote …if anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat, 3 Thes 3:10, and to spout off about stewardship.  She would much rather err on the side of selfishness than generosity.

              And Thelma's selfishness isn't only about tangible things.  She will not yield her rights or her opinions.  Let me give you a good example this time instead of a bad one.  I once knew a man who would sit near the back so he could quietly get up and leave when the Lord's Supper was served on Sunday evenings for those who could not make it that morning.  He did not believe that was right, but he did not cause an uproar in the church over it that might lead to division.  He simply did not participate.  There may have been other things he did not do as well, but in that instance at least, he was a good example. 

              My own father was also a great example.  When he heard of a need, he quietly filled it as best he could.  He bought pews and hymnals for small churches.  He helped support gospel preachers.  He gave away his own belongings if he knew someone else needed them worse.  He also opened his wallet on many occasions.  Once he was told that a man he had helped had used that help in a bad way.  "That's his problem," he said.  "I did what my God expected me to do."

            I have been blessed to have known some of the kindest, most generous brothers and sisters in this world.  Generous Joyce would be a better name for all of them, and that is how we should be raising our children, and the example we should show them too.
 
The desire of the righteous ends only in good; the expectation of the wicked in wrath.  ​One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.  ​Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. Prov 11:23-25
But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.  1 Cor 8:9
Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.  1 Cor 10:24
 
Dene Ward

If you missed it, see last Monday's introductory post about this series

              Look-at-me-Louie is a debonair little guy in the book.  Blond, well-dressed, riding a skateboard, a satisfied smile on his face, and his hands on his hips.  Louie will always be showing off and demanding attention.  He is sure he is great at everything, and no one can tell him otherwise.

              I am sure that you have seen grown-up Louie.  He talks constantly—about himself and his accomplishments.  Kind of like a neighbor I once had who told us often of all the money he made before he retired.  It was plain what he was proud of—his wealth, and he was happy to tell us again and again how he had gained it. 

               Grown-up Louie now sports a SELF-satisfied smile.  He can be loud at times, demanding attention not just from the one he is talking to, but the whole room.  He believes he is always the best choice for whatever position or honor comes along and can get downright ugly if he does not get it.  Kind of like a man I knew long ago and far away who started a smear campaign against an eldership because he himself wasn't chosen.
 
             Grown-up Louie does not take correction well at all.  "Why, how dare you try to tell me something when I am so much better than you are."  We once tried to help a young man whose name might as well have been Louie.  He already knew everything he needed to know, thank you very much.  "Why, I am used as the good example to everyone else!  No one can teach me anything."  He knew more than people thirty years older with decades more experience.  There was no way we lowly people could possibly help him.

              He was right, actually.  We could not help him--because he did not believe he needed to be helped.  And that is the sad truth about all the Louies you may know.  The elders cannot help them.  Preachers and teachers cannot help them.  No one can help them until they learn to see themselves clearly in the mirror of God's Word.  The only thing they will hear is praise because that is all they think they deserve.  Once you stop that, they become deaf to you.

              Some of the Louies out there will actually grow up and learn to listen, but some not.  I know a few in their 60s who still cannot stand to hear that they have made a mistake.  Suddenly, you become the enemy instead of a friend.  But sometimes something happens to wake them up.  That's wonderful, but think of all the wasted years, the things they might have learned, and the progress they might have made if they had not been a Look-at-me-Louie in the first place.

              Don't waste your life looking for praise and spurning instruction.  You will wind up being so much less than you could have been for the Lord.
 
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.  Prov 9:9
A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.  Prov 13:1
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.  Rom 12:3
 
Dene Ward