Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

It seems that some fail to grasp figurative language and some apparently are unaware that it exists, though they use it every day. Many have correctly condemned the attitude behind having "Born to Lose" as a motto for life. But, in the song the phrase is wrested from, it means something else entirely. There might even be a lesson there about Bible study.  If you never heard the song, which was old when Ray Charles sang it, the quotes below are from that song.
 
A favorite preacher often says, “If you have missed heaven, you have surely missed it all.  It would matter nothing if you were successful on every other level and happy every day of your life."

Is there nothing in your life that had you missed it, then your whole life would seem a loss?  “Born to Lose” expresses that idea.  Had I missed Dene, “every dream would bring me only pain,” and I would feel that, “I’ve lived my life in vain,” and, “All my life I’ve always been so blue.”  It would color my life so that no success, no joy would truly be happy or good.

“Breathes there man with soul so dead” (or woman) who has no one that means that much?  Have you told her lately?  [Scott, "My Native Land"]

If everyone who knows you does not know that about you, is it true?
 
With the idea in mind that “Born to Lose” refers to an event that so alters one’s perspective in life in a negative way that it seems that he was born that way, let us examine a couple of Bible phrases.
 
“Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.” Psa 51:5 (ASV)
“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. “ (ESV) 
 
At a moment when you perceived the depth of the wickedness that you have done, maybe a recent one or in a wakeful moment in the night reviewing your life, have you never felt that way?  In other words, “My whole life has been sin to the bone?”  It seems to me that such passages as these have nothing to say about the state of one at birth or conception. They express in a strong way, a poetic way, the depth of awareness of one’s own sinfulness that he has done.
 
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations."  Jer 1:5
 
Having seen this on a number of billboards along the interstates expressing opposition to abortion, and with my thinking supercharged by the adrenaline of dodging all the idiots for whom the hope of arriving a few minutes less late is worth the risk of their lives and ours, I realize that as used, literally, it expresses the Mormon view that souls exist prior to conception.  Instead, when the passage is seen figuratively, God is expressing the depth to which he knows Jeremiah’s character and the confidence with which he appoints him to the prophetic office.  It is not intended to express any truth regarding birth.
 
And, so with these and numerous other instances, we realize that God communicates with us the way we do with others, by figures of speech. And yes, the Bible means exactly what it says, it just does not always mean the literal dictionary meaning of the words used.  When we say a man would "give the shirt off his back," we are not even talking about shirts!  Nor was Jesus talking about eye problems when he said to remove the beam from your own eye so you can see to take the mote from your brother's.
 
Many a false doctrine and unsound interpretation is based upon the foolishness of making God's figures of speech into literally exact dictums.
 
We need to lighten up.  Because it is "THE BIBLE" does not mean that we do not use normal means to understand it. That is the way God communicates.
 
But we received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is from God; that we might know the things that were freely given to us of God. Which things also we speak, not in words which man's wisdom teaches, but which the Spirit teaches; combining spiritual things with spiritual words. (1Cor 2:12-13)
 
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Eph 5:17)
 
Keith Ward

On March 13, 2014, Walter Williams, a seventy-eight year old Mississippi farmer, died.  It was the second time.  On February 27, he had been declared dead when neither the coroner nor attending nurses could find a pulse.  He was declared dead and transported to the funeral home.  While workers prepared to embalm him, he suddenly began kicking in the body bag.  An ambulance was called and he was taken to the hospital.  He survived another two weeks before death finally claimed him.  What happened to this man is sometimes the stuff of my nightmares.

             Beta blockers are wonderful things if you have high blood pressure.  They block the effects of the hormone epinephrine, which we usually call adrenaline.  In doing so they lower both your pulse and your blood pressure and open the blood vessels allowing blood to flow more easily, at least that is what the Mayo Clinic website tells me.

              I do not have high blood pressure.  I do have narrow angle glaucoma, complicated by severe nanophthalmus and a handful of other things, so I take four eye medications, several of which contain beta blockers to help lower eye pressure.  So, because my blood pressure is not high, it is now very low, as is my pulse.  High these days is 100/70 and it often runs 90/60 with an accompanying pulse no higher than 60—and that’s when I am excited.  It usually runs much lower than that.  In my recent bout with kidney stones, the alarm they hooked me up to in the ER kept going off because my pulse kept dropping to 40.  Even experienced nurses have difficulty finding my pulse and it often takes two or three tries to get any blood pressure reading.  I told Keith a few weeks ago, if I ever pass out, please make sure they call an ambulance instead of the coroner’s van.

              Needless to say, I do not have much energy these days.  I wear out quickly and my vision begins to fade.  Doing anything in the evening when the usual weariness of the day compounds the problem is a major ordeal.  But do I mind?  Not on your life—I can still see well enough to function, something no one would have predicted 20 years ago.  But I do have to fight exhaustion constantly.

              Sometimes our spiritual vital signs sound an alarm to the people around us.  We may not notice, but they can see the flagging interest and sagging strength.  So I wondered what sort of spiritual beta-blockers we ought to be looking out for.

              The biggest may be distractions in our lives.  It is possible to be too busy—not with sinful things, but completely neutral things, maybe even good things.  Work, entertainment, exercise, travel, sports, the hours we spend on social media and keeping our eyes glued to a screen of some sort all rob us of time we could be spending on thoughtful meditation or  becoming more familiar with God’s word.  Shame on us, we do it to our children too, and often as yet another status symbol.  We enroll them in everything possible and rob them of their childhood by running them back and forth and driving them literally to exhaustion—not to mention the pressure on them to succeed in every single one of these activities.  Do children even know how to play anymore?  I remember having voice students nearly fall asleep standing up!

              Failure to communicate with God may be one of the biggest spiritual beta blockers.  How can we expect to know Him, to know how to please Him, to know why we should want to please Him, to know the direction He wants us to take when we ignore His Word and never speak to Him except at meals—if He’s lucky!  Of course our faith will weaken—our faith is in a Who not a what, and knowing that Who is absolutely necessary to keep from losing it.

              This one may sound a little strange, but bear with me.  Sometimes our busyness is not a busyness in worldly endeavors, it’s a busyness in good works, and even that busyness can weaken us. 

              In Twelve Extraordinary Women John MacArthur says, “It is a danger, even for people who love Christ, that we not become so concerned with doing things for Him that we begin to neglect hearing Him and remembering what He has done for us.  We must never allow our service for Christ to crowd out our worship of Him.  The moment our works become more important than our worship we have turned the true spiritual priorities on their heads…Whenever you elevate good deeds over sound doctrine and true worship, you ruin the works too.  Doing good works for the works’ sake has a tendency to exalt self and depreciate the work of Christ.  Good deeds, human charity, and acts of kindness are crucial expressions of real faith, but they must flow from a true reliance on God’s redemption and His righteousness…Observe any form of religion where good works are ranked as more important than authentic faith or sound doctrine and you’ll discover a system the denigrates Christ while unduly magnifying self.” 

              I have seen people literally work themselves to death for others, visiting, carrying food, taking the elderly to the doctor, cleaning houses and doing yard work and then when their lives take a tragic turn, fall completely apart.  In all their “doing” they had neglected to shore up their own faith with time for prayer, personal Bible study, and taking a real interest in the studies offered during the usual assembly times or extras on the side.  Their lack of theological understanding left them floundering for answers they had never taken the time to look for and learn, and then when they needed them, they had nothing to lean on.

              And so in all these cases, the blood pressure plummets and the pulse fades and soon they may be gone.  I am sure you can think of other spiritual beta blockers.  Today, for your own good, look for them in your life.  How long has it been since you gave yourself a good shot of spiritual adrenaline—zeal? 

            If you suffered a spiritual collapse, should we call an ambulance or a hearse?
 
…“Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Eph 5:14-16
 
Dene Ward

I never had much trouble sightreading piano music.  You read the note, you find it on the piano, and you play it.  I wasn’t perfect by any means—trying to read music and translate that to a mental keyboard in your mind and then have your hands immediately go to the correct place on the real keyboard in just a matter of milliseconds takes a quick mind and perfect eyesight, neither of which I had even then.  But for the most part I was a good music reader and got the job done, even if I did have to slow the tempo down so I could play in the correct rhythm too. 

              Then I got to college theory classes and was expected to sightsing!  Now that is a completely different issue.  Looking at a page of notes and singing them seemed like an impossible task to me.  It takes a natural ear.  If you don’t have one, you have to train it.  I had to put mine through boot camp the entire first year of theory classes.  Eventually I learned to do it—I could look at a piece of music and sing the notes, without accompaniment of any kind, not even chords to keep you in the right key.  I wasn’t any more perfect at it than I was at the piano, probably less, but I was musician enough to pass my tests, classes, and juries, and to make two college choruses and a women’s sextet.

              Most of the hymns in our books are written in standard major keys, with standard four part harmony.  They are nothing like the music I had to sightsing in college, so I can usually sightsing them without too much trouble.  It’s sort of like being asked to boil an egg when you have been making soufflés for four years--simple.  Most of the congregation, though, do not have the advantage of being trained musicians and they just sing it the way they first heard it, which in many cases was incorrect. That means that very often I stick out like a sore thumb (or a sour note).

              I have tried to sing what everyone else is singing just so I won’t, but I have trained myself so diligently that I can’t.  I’m a musician—I see the note, I sing what I see.  We were singing “When We All Get to Heaven,” the other day, and every time (at least three) I sang it right I created a clash that was hard to go unnoticed.  “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms” creates at least five such clashes.  With “Amazing Grace” the list is nearly as long as the song itself.

              But you know what?  While I don’t want to cause those clashes, my training makes it nearly impossible to sing the songs wrong, and my desire to please God by obeying His commands to sing makes it completely impossible for me to stop singing.

             Isn’t that the way life is supposed to be for a Christian?  You really don’t want to clash with your neighbors.  You really want to “live peaceably with all men.”  But you should have trained yourself so well that you find it nearly impossible to sin.  Sticking out like a sore thumb shouldn’t matter to you.  Yes, it may be difficult, but no one ever promised us “easy.”  We are supposed to be different from unbelievers.  We are supposed to “conform to the image of His Son,” not to the world. It should be a habit by now.

              Sometimes when I sing things correctly, but differently, I get funny looks.  Once, a song leader even went to the microphone when that section came up on the next verse so he could sing the (wrong) note loud and clear.  I guess he heard my different note on the first verse and it bugged him. 

              This coming Sunday morning, if you hear someone sing a different note than you are singing, maybe you should check the notes you are singing.  Then do something much more important.  Use it as a reminder to check your life.  Could anyone tell you apart from your neighbors, or do you blend right in?  Out there in the world, you should be sightsinging a completely different tune.
 
But the wisdom from above is first pure—then peaceable…James 3:17.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed…Rom 12:2.
 
Dene Ward

I have a friend who, before she retired, kept a bar of soap in her desk drawer.  Whenever a new young hire came in, it wasn't long before she was telling him about her soap and how much he needed to chew on it awhile.  If you have not noticed, the language around us is simply atrocious. 

               "It's just a word," one young co-worker proclaimed.

               "Choose another one," she tersely replied.

           Why anyone would think that filthy language was appropriate in a professional setting, I cannot imagine.  But then I go out in the world and hear children saying words I would never have breathed aloud when I was young—not if I wanted to sit down again any time soon.

            I am not just talking about the four letter words that people usually consider "dirty" or even taking the Lord's name in vain.  As a culture we have become crude and vulgar.  Lucy and Ethel had us rolling in the floor as we watched their antics on the candy wrapping conveyor belt and in the wine vat.  Now we seem to require a heavy dose of bathroom humor or sexual innuendo before anything is deemed funny. 

            And talk about hypocrisy—the same media that berates the president for his bad language gives us a show called "S*****'s Creek" and a movie called "Meet the F*****s" with all the attendant jokes that can obviously be made from those two titles.  I won't dignify them with their supposedly cleaned up names.

           Do you think it hasn't affected Christians?  I hear words that I would never have been allowed to say without being punished all the time.  No, they aren't "dirty" words.  They're just crude.  Swear words aren't the only words Christians shouldn't be speaking.  I regularly delete posts on Facebook from my brothers and sisters that a Christian shouldn't have spoken aloud to a few, much less put out there for literally thousands to see. 

          Our culture has even managed to make it acceptable to use one of the ugliest phrases in our language, a phrase that would have ended up in a parking lot beat down when I was a child.  And the younger generation steadfastly refuses to accept its origin just because they can find no one who knows it either.  My poor husband wound up vilified once because he dared suggest that a brother shouldn't use that term, which refers to a homosexual act.  Even if the younger generation refuses to recognize the vulgarity for what it is, we older folks know exactly what it means and "everyone says it" never has been and never will be an acceptable excuse. 

             Is it really that important?  Paul says it is.

           And there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. (Eph 5:4)  That term "coarse jesting" is actually one word in the Greek and it isn't necessarily talking about dirty jokes.  It's talking about crudity, vulgarity, double entendres, and any other sort of coarse language.  It refers to bathroom humor, bodily functions, sexual innuendo and anything that should be unacceptable in polite society, and even more so among those who claim lives of purity.  Look at the rest of the context.

             But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. (Eph 5:3-5).

            Do you see the implications Paul makes?  If I speak like this, I am impure, immoral, and not fit to be in the kingdom.  That's how important this is.  We are supposed to be different.  How will it be known if we sound just like everyone else, and laugh at the same crude humor?  Remember the old Ivory Soap ads?  "99 and 44/100th percent pure," they claimed.  We should be trying for a purity even beyond that, but we end up looking like someone dropped us in a tar pit when we open our mouths.

             I am not some ignorant fool who does not realize that Paul spoke from time to time in figures that were shocking.  I would that they that unsettle you would even go beyond circumcision, (Gal 5:12) is a prime example.  But let me ask you this.  How much shock value would that statement have had if he spoke that way all the time?  This was a special circumstance.  People were losing their souls.  When this was read, I imagine there was a collective gasp as everyone suddenly understood how serious Paul was about the matter.  He would never had said such a thing otherwise.

            Us?  We sound like that constantly, just for laughs, or even about the trivial everyday stuff.  I feel like my friend—I need to carry a bar of soap around.  But I never imagined I would have to offer it to a brother.
 
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Eph 4:29)
 
Dene Ward

I hate to hear of a policeman gone bad.  He gives all the good ones a bad name.  As the wife of a law enforcement officer, I shouldn’t have to defend my husband’s career choice just because someone who isn’t what he should have been has shamed the badge, but the reality is, I do.

              Law enforcement officers aren’t the only ones who have this problem. 

              God spent an entire chapter on the priests of Israel who shirked their duties (Ezek 34).  Many good priests still quietly went about fulfilling their obligations, like Zaccharias, honored to serve in the house of the Lord, but by the time of Christ, too many were political animals, caring only for their own power and wealth, like Annas and Caiaphas.

              The Jews in the Old Testament, while still acting “as the people” Ezek 33:30-32, behaved in a manner unsuitable to God’s children.  They forgot who their Father was and shamed Him with their immorality, lack of compassion, and idolatry.  Yes, a remnant remained, but they too suffered because the majority represented the whole, and the world laughed Jehovah to scorn when He allowed them to be punished.  Yet He did allow it, because the representation of Jehovah’s children was shameful.

              In the New Testament, their descendants gave the people another bad name—“Pharisees,” which though merely a sect concerned with carefully keeping the Law, eventually came to mean “self-righteous hypocrite.”  It is easy to believe in a quick read that no righteous Pharisees existed, yet among them were Nicodemus, Joseph of Arimathea, and Saul of Tarsus.  In spite of them, the general impression the majority left had Jesus regularly condemning them. 

              Things have not changed.  Just as a corrupt cop can give all policemen a bad name, bad churches can give all other churches a bad name.  How many times have I had to defend the group I worship with because some other group far away lacked compassion, failed in its duty to teach the whole gospel instead of just its own pet slogans, or refused to welcome the troubled, the disabled, and the sinner?  More than I want to count.

              But more to the point this morning, have I given God’s people a bad name?  What do my friends, neighbors and co-workers think about my brethren, not by what they have seen of them in person, but by what they have seen of me?  Do I, in fact, complain about them all the time?  Do I gossip?  Am I constantly angry and unhappy instead of cheerful and pleasant to be around?  Do I assist whenever I can, whoever I can, or do I have biases that anyone who knows me can list without a second’s thought?  Am I reliable, trustworthy, and honest to a fault?  How is my language and my dress?  We are foolish to think no one notices these things, and we bring shame on our Creator when they do.

              The church is one big House of Representatives.  When the world looks at us, it sees the Lord.  Would He be happy with the picture you are painting of Him today?
 
For as touching those who were once enlightened and tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the age to come, and then fell away, it is impossible to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame, Hebrews 6:4-6.              
 
Dene Ward                                                           

A continuing series by guest writer Lucas Ward.

Having discussed the most basic, all-pervading “one another” command, to love one another, let’s move on to some of the more specific ways we show that love for each other. Some of the “one another” passages that easily group themselves for discussion are those which teach us to edify, exhort and admonish each other: Rom. 14:9, 1 Thess. 5:11, Heb. 3:13, Heb. 10:24, Rom. 15:14, and Col. 3:16. First, let’s discuss what these commands mean.

To edify just means to build up. An edifice is a building, to edify is to build. The Greek word is oikodomeo which means *gasp* to build up. No surprises here. The only other way the word is ever used is if it is literally referring to the construction trade. When we are commanded to edify, we are being commanded to build our fellow Christian’s faith & character.

To exhort, according to Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, is to urge strongly, to make urgent appeals, to give warnings or advice. The Greek is parakaleo. This word is translated “exhort” 19 times in the KJV, “beseech” 43 times and “entreat” three times. So the idea of urging and making urgent appeals seems to hold. However, the word is also translated “comfort” 23 times, which might seem odd until you realize that the ESV translates the word “encourage” pretty uniformly. Which makes sense, because when someone is feeling down, we encourage (comfort) them, but when someone isn’t achieving as they should, we encourage (exhort) them to do better. So you can see how the same word can fit in both situations. The meaning of the command to us seems to be to urge our brethren to be what they ought to be.

To admonish is to indicate duties and obligations. To express warning or disapproval especially in a gentle, earnest or solicitous manner. The Greek is noutheteo which means to put in mind of or to remind of something which fits well with the idea of reminding Christians of their duties and also reminding/warning them of the eternal consequences of sin. Notice two things about the English definition: the manner is to be gentle and earnest, and disapproval can be expressed. Is disapproval really a part of Christian life? Well, if we are trying to live pure and holy lives before the Lord, then there are things that we can’t approve of. But disapproval doesn’t mean hatred of the individual. 2 Thess. 3:14-15, “And if any man obeys not our word by this epistle, note that man, that ye have no company with him, to the end that he may be ashamed. And yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.” We can’t approve of his actions. If he continues in them, we are to have nothing to do with him. But this isn’t the result of hate, but of brotherly love: we admonish him with the hope of his repentance. He is not an enemy, but a brother being admonished. So, to admonish our brethren is to remind them of their Christian duties and/or gently warn them of temptations and sins.

Ok, so how do I do this? How do I edify, exhort, and admonish (EE&A)? The first thing to note is that I can’t if I’m too busy condemning my brother. In Romans 14 Paul is writing to a church that is fighting over the permissibility of eating meat that had been sacrificed to idols. Some believed wholeheartedly that it was a sin. The rest of the church laughed at them for being silly. Both sides were quick to judge, in the sense of passing sentence on the other side. Paul told them in vs 13 “Let us not therefore judge one another anymore: but judge ye this rather, that no man put a stumbling-block in his brother's way, or an occasion of falling.” Rather than judging, they needed to make sure they weren’t hurting their brothers. Why? vs 17 “for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” The Church was a lot more important than just eating and drinking. Righteousness, peace and joy were far more important. Therefore, vs 19 “So then let us follow after things which make for peace, and things whereby we may edify one another.” Instead of condemning each other, the Roman Christians should have been finding ways to make peace and to edify one another. I can’t very well build my brother up if I’m busy tearing him down, now can I?

To properly EE&A, I must also be fully aware of the dangers of sin. The Hebrew writer says in 3:13 “but exhort one another day by day, so long as it is called To-day; lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin”. Sin is tricky. It doesn’t seem all that bad. “I can put just my toe across the line, and I’ll still be ok.” Soon, my whole foot is across the line, and before I know it, I’m standing several yards beyond the line. It keeps sneaking up on you, and never seems that bad. And it hardens you, leading to, as verse 12 calls it, an “evil heart of unbelief.” The more you live in sin, the more you don’t want to listen to or believe the Word of God. Which is why we need to urgently warn our brothers and sisters about sin. Growing up in the piney woods of North Central Florida, I quickly learned to look down at the ground whenever I ventured into the woods. Snakes, especially rattlesnakes, have an uncanny knack for blending into the background. The patterns on their backs make them look just like a pile of dead leaves unless you know what to look for. Whenever we would hike as a group, anyone who saw a snake would immediately warn everyone else in the party. As Christians, we need to know that sin is far more dangerous than any poisonous viper and yell out warnings as we see our brethren nearing danger.

To EE&A, I also must be full of goodness and filled with knowledge. Romans 15:14 “And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.” Paul was sure they could handle their own admonishment precisely because they were full of goodness and filled with knowledge. Which makes sense. How can I build my brother up according to God’s word if I don’t know God’s word? How can I urge him to his duties if I don’t know what God says his duties are? But knowledge alone can be dangerous. Note 1 Cor. 8:1-3: “Now concerning things sacrificed to idols: We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. If any man thinks that he knows anything, he knows not yet as he ought to know; but if any man loves God, the same is known by him.” Knowledge alone can lead to false pride and damage done. Which is why Paul also says that the Romans were “full of goodness”. This is analogous to the love he mentions to the Corinthians. Knowledge, directed by love and goodness, leads to proper EE&A.

Furthering the discussion of the need for knowledge, look at Col 3:16 “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts unto God.” The word is to dwell in you. It is not an occasional visitor; it lives in you. We read and think about it regularly. This leads to teaching and admonishing “in all wisdom”. As mentioned in Romans and 1 Corinthians, knowledge alone isn’t enough. It is to be guided by love, goodness and wisdom. And see how this teaching is done? Through the songs we sing. We often think of the song service as purely praise to God, and it does contain a lot of that, but it is also a great avenue for teaching. If we actually pay attention to what we say, we can be greatly built up and exhorted by the songs we sing. Think about “Prepare to Meet thy God”: “Careless soul, why will you linger wandering from the fold of God. . .” Or “Almost Persuaded”: “Sad, sad that bitter wail ‘almost, but lost’”. How about “Take Time to be Holy”? “speak oft with thy Lord; abide in Him always and feed on His word.” Or “I Want to Be a Worker for the Lord” or. . . Songs can be powerful. At thirteen, singing the phrase “Lord come quickly” made me wonder if I really wanted Him to come back quickly right then and led directly to me discussing baptism with my parents. Songs are a tool for teaching and admonishment and, given that, song leaders need to take care how they choose the songs we sing.

In order to EE&A, we must also consider one another. Heb. 10:24 “and let us consider one another to provoke unto love and good works”. The ESV says “to stir up one another”. While the word isn’t used here, isn’t stirring up or provoking to good works the definition of exhortation. (Which word is used in the next verse.) But to do it, I have to consider my brethren. I have to think about them. I have to figure out what each of them needs and how I can best help them. If I never think about my brother, how am I supposed to know how to help him out? We are supposed to be a family that helps each other, not a group that meets a couple of times a week. To be the former, we must take the time and make the effort to consider each other. Also, note the verses preceding vs 24. We are told that Christ has opened a way for us into the Holy Place. The Hebrew writer says that we should therefore 1) draw near with true hearts and full faith, 2) hold fast to our confession, and 3) consider one another. The way to heaven is open, and my job is to walk through the door and bring along as many of my brethren as I possibly can. Draw near, hold fast (that’s me getting there) and consider one another (dragging them along with me). That leads into my final point, that we . . .

EE&A with the knowledge that salvation is already won. 1 Thess. 5:9-11 “For God appointed us not into wrath, but unto the obtaining of salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him. Wherefore exhort one another, and build each other up, even as also ye do.” He died for us so we could live with Him. We are not appointed to wrath, but to salvation. “Wherefore” or with that in mind, exhort and edify one another. The door has already been opened. We only have to walk through. The way can be hard, sometimes, and we need to encourage each other with the knowledge that the hardships of this life are temporary. We are appointed to salvation. We just have to keep going.

“Wherefore exhort one another, and build each other up”

Lucas Ward

I picked up the phone and within ten seconds wished I hadn’t.  I was a new bride and it was my first experience with a telemarketer. I couldn’t fathom someone who had an answer for every reason to say “No.” 

              I’d been taught to always be polite so as long as he talked I listened.  Finally I said, “I couldn’t spend this much money without talking to my husband first anyway.”

              Yes, he even had an answer for that one.  “Don’t you think it’s about time you learned how to make decisions on your own?”

              He had finally gone too far.  “How we run our marriage is our business, not yours,” I replied and hung up.  He found out in short order that my acceptance of my husband’s authority didn’t mean I was spineless.

              Too many women today seem to think it does, and worse, care far too much about what other people think about them.  I feel the same way about that as I do about men who won’t help with child care and housework because, “That’s woman’s work.”  Shakespeare put it best:  “Methinks thou doth protest too much.”  It takes strength to submit; weakness cannot overcome the natural tendency to want attention and power.

              Sarah comes to mind.  In a misguided attempt to help God fulfill his promises to Abraham, she and Abraham arranged a surrogate mother.  Hagar was “her handmaid,” Gen 16:1,3, a personal servant of Sarah’s, not a simple slave girl who would have been under Abraham’s authority (Growth of the Seed, Nathan Ward).  When Hagar’s attitude toward Sarah eroded into hateful disrespect--“her mistress became despised in her eyes” v 4—Sarah was ready to throw her out.  At that time, in that culture, Hagar as her handmaid was her business, not Abraham’s.  Yet Sarah, in her submission as a wife, still went to Abraham first.  Even he said, “Behold, your maid is in your hands.  Do what you think is best,” v 6.

              Please note, the surrogacy arrangement did not change Hagar’s status.  She is still called “handmaid” by the writer and by God (21:12), and the angel of Jehovah told her she was wrong to have fled, that the right thing was to return to her mistress (16:7-9), just as it was for Onesimus to return to Philemon.  Sarah did not have to ask Abraham for permission, but she went the extra mile in her submission to him.

              So how am I doing at this submission business?  Do my friends know that my husband is the head of the house, or would they throw their heads back in gales of laughter at the very thought?  Am I embarrassed to say, “I need to talk with my husband,” before making a major decision?

              Even the New Testament recognizes that a woman has a realm of authority in the home.  Widows are to remarry and “rule the household,” 1 Tim 5:14.  That word “rule” is not the same Greek word as the one in 3:4, elders should “rule well their own household.”  The word in 5:14 is one that means “manage [the home specifically] under a master.”  Just as the store manager does not expect to be micromanaged by the owner of the business, he still understands that he must ultimately answer to that owner.  Would anyone expect otherwise?

              It is time to stop being cowed by our increasingly godless culture, afraid to admit that we actually believe what the Bible says about unpopular things.  The next time someone insults you for your voluntary subjection to your husband, show them just how much spine you do have.
 
For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening, 1 Peter 3:5-6
 
Dene Ward

Sometimes you wonder about a so-called "improvement."  On February 18, 1947, Enock Ancker of Ft Bayard, New Mexico, invented the blister pack.  He said its purpose was to provide "a sanitary container for the tablets wherein novel means are incorporated to the end that one tablet at a time may be easily removed from the container."  Yes.  "Easily removed."  That's what the application says.  I just spent twenty minutes trying to get 84 acid reducing pills out of six blister packs so I wouldn’t have to do it every morning for the next 7 weeks.  Twenty minutes! 

               What is it with these manufacturers?  You would think they would want you to try their medication, not give up in frustration, throw the whole thing away, and use another.  Or maybe it’s meant to be self-perpetuating:  the more aggravated you get, the more acid your stomach produces, and the more you need their pills.

              I have an issue with childproof caps too—about the only ones they keep out of the bottle are those of us with arthritic hands.  And CD and DVD packages?  How many times have I cut myself on them and, with this aspirin-a-day regimen, bled all over everything before I even knew I had done it?

              Manufacturers who don’t want you to use their product—sounds strange doesn’t it?  What about that branch of theology that says that God doesn’t want to save everyone, that Jesus died only for the ones He does want to save, and that no matter what you do or how you feel about it, there is nothing you can do to change that?  Let me show you why I have a problem with that.

              Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel? Ezekiel 33:11

              This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, 1 Timothy 2:3-4.

              For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, Titus 2:11

              The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance, 2 Peter 3:9.

              God does want us to be saved, as many as are willing to live by his Word.  Jesus died for all, not just those lucky few.  You can make a difference in your own salvation, “turn back from your evil ways,” “come to a knowledge of the truth,” and “reach repentance.”

              Praise God that He loves us and wants us with Him for Eternity.  Praise God that salvation does not come in a blister pack.
 
For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised, 2 Corinthians 5:14-15).
 
Dene Ward

In case you didn't figure it out from the last post, the answer to the question that probably sprang to your mind is, "Yes."  I do have a participation trophy.  I know many young women who are as innocent and inexperienced as I was at 18, which is the year I received my trophy.  I hope what I am about to say will help you avoid the experience I had.  Some of these things I learned as a direct result of the harassment I endured.  Some of them come from the wisdom of age or from listening to other women who endured the same kinds of things.  It's time we prepared our daughters for the real world, instead of pretending this only happens to someone else.  Sexual harassment comes in all shapes and sizes.  Some of it is fairly minor, and other times it is violent and criminal.  No matter which side of the scale, it is always terrifying and traumatic. 

          1.  Be careful what you wear to work or class or wherever you may encounter men who are in authority over you.  Yes, you may have the right to wear whatever you want to wear, at least as an American, but you may put yourself at risk as well as calling your reputation into question and giving the harasser "reasonable doubt" as he denies your allegations.  This one thing may be the most important thing I tell you.
          Don't wear anything that calls attention to your body—any part of it at all.  No tight pants, tight sweaters, short skirts, transparent blouses, or deep necklines.  Practice in front of a mirror how you sit, noticing what happens when you cross your legs.  Lean over as you would over a desk and look up to see whether your neckline falls open.  For good measure, make it a point to hold your hand flat on your neckline any time you lean over in front of anyone anywhere.
          Don't wear anything that shows a lot of skin—large expanses of leg, chest, shoulders and back.  If you are always cold, maybe it's because too much of you is uncovered.  Spaghetti straps might as well not be there for all the good they do, not to mention strapless.  A belly chain on an exposed midriff speaks volumes.  As I said, you may have the right to wear what you want to, but there is a difference between exercising your rights and lacking common sense.
          Fathers, if your daughters don't understand these things, tell them why this is so important.  You are her leader and protector, the one who is supposed to be looking out for her welfare, not throwing her out to the wolves.

          2.  If a man says anything about what you are wearing, tell him right then that the remark was inappropriate.  All right, so a male friend looks up and says, "Hey, you look nice today."  That might be perfectly innocent.  Some men have no idea what is and is not appropriate to say.  But if he says, "Wow!  I bet your husband (or boyfriend) likes that outfit," he is out of line.  If he says anything about the length, the tightness, the shortness, or the neckline, he is equally out of line.  Tell him so and then go document the remark in a notebook you keep just for that sort of thing, and keep that notebook safe and hidden.  Do not tell anyone else about it.  Then pray you will never need it.

          3.  Do not let a man into your private space.  Private space may be smaller in an office than in a parking lot, but still, no one needs to be standing so close to you that you can tell what he had for lunch.  If a man comes too close, step back.  If he persists, try talking loud enough for people to look up and notice, and if necessary say, "Back up.  That's close enough."  LOUDLY.  He will get the point.  Then document the encounter.

          4. Do not allow yourself to be cornered in a room.  Always pay attention to the situation.  Don't be caught unawares.  Keep doors open and make sure you have a way of escape.

          5.  Never, ever, touch a man.  Unless it is the polite, firm handshake of one professional greeting another, keep your hands to yourself.  If his collar is crooked, tell him so and let him go fix it.  Men read all sorts of things into touches, things that never cross a woman's mind, especially a chaste woman. 

          6.  Do not allow a man to touch you.  I know a woman who had to deal with a boss who made it a point as he walked past his female employees to be close enough and to have his arms just far enough out to brush their breasts as he passed.  In those days, no one turned a boss in.   But she learned quickly to cross her arms as he came by.  She said the first time he just snickered as he walked past.  He knew exactly what she was doing, but that also told him that she knew exactly what he was doing too, and so would her husband. 
         No one should be stroking your arm or rubbing your neck.  Certainly no one should put an arm around you or hold your hand.  If he tries, just move away.  Then document it.

          7.  Do not meet with your boss or professor, etc, after hours, alone.  If he says you have work to do together, tell him you need to call your husband (or father or boyfriend) to wait in the office for you, or if it is too small, in the next room—with the door open.  If he says all right, you were probably safe, but you never know.  If he is insulted, tell him you are sorry but it is a policy you and your husband, etc. have, nothing against him.  It should be a policy you have.  Take care of that tonight.

          8.  If anything does happen, go to whoever is in charge and take your notebook with you.  That is why you have been keeping it—to show a pattern of bad behavior.  If you have made it specific as to time, date, and specific words and circumstances, it will obviously be true.  But do everything you possibly can to make this unnecessary by exercising the common sense listed above.  The fallout will be difficult.

          I doubt this is everything, but I wish someone had told me at least this much.  As a Christian you have the responsibility to keep yourself pure and to do whatever you can not to cause someone else to sin.  We women call men "oblivious" all the time.  Some women are just as oblivious about this subject.

         From someone who knows:  trust me.  You do not want a participation trophy.
 
​Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the LORD! (Ps 119:1)

I'm sure you saw it on Facebook too:  someone issued Florida a participation trophy for participating in winter this year.  Especially up here in the north part of the state, we have had several hard freezes, sleet, snow flurries, and ice on the roads.  At least we know we will have a blueberry crop this year.  Our type of blueberries requires a certain amount of cold and the past two winters have been too warm for our plants to produce enough berries for one muffin!

              But I know this:  anyone who has not lived in the Midwest or Northeast still does not understand real winter.  We lived 100 miles south of Chicago for two years.  That experience was far more than two or three weeks of lows in the 20s and highs in the 40s.  Someone in Maine would probably consider that a heat wave.  A few cold weeks down here is nothing compared to several months of even colder weather up there.

              We have had the same experience trying to explain the heat down here.  When people further north see highs in the 90s they say, "Well, we get that hot, too."  Here is one difference: we have it day in and day out for a full five months with no let up.  Here is another:  we have humidity to match it; and a third:   the sun exposure, being much more direct, will sap the strength right out of you. 

              We tried to tell some people that once, and they just laughed.  Then they came to visit for a week.  It was only mid-June, so it wasn't really all that bad yet.  One morning the visiting lady went outside with me to help hang up clothes, oh, around 9 am.  We hadn't been outside more than five minutes before she suddenly gave a soft little "whew!"  I looked over.  She was red-faced and pouring sweat.  "It's sort of like a sauna out here, isn't it?"  she said, panting a little.  She could hardly endure a week of it.  And it was constant.  Once the summer sets in, there is no fluctuation.  A heat wave?  Ours lasts from May till October.  Being here a week in June still does not earn you a participation trophy in a Florida summer.

               So I have learned over the years to listen to others and to realize that unless I have had their exact experience, I really do not know what they are dealing with.  I have learned to withhold judgment until I gather more information.  I have learned to offer more sympathy and less castigation, and I never say, "I know how you feel," when I don't.

               I have been watching and listening to all these accusations of sexual harassment lately.  Nothing quite gets my hackles up like someone saying, "So why did she wait so long to tell?" as if her delay makes her story unbelievable.  Especially when it comes from someone without a participation trophy, and especially when it comes from a man.

               I will tell you exactly why she kept quiet.  Not just embarrassment, but total mortification.  And the more chaste a woman is, the less likely she will say anything.  If she has been raised as a Christian, to keep herself pure and to assume the best of others, her first thought will be, "What did I do wrong?" even when she did absolutely nothing.  She won't want to cause any trouble or bring attention to herself.  She won't want to embarrass her family.  She won't want to hold herself up to all the probing eyes and thoughts of people who will assume the worst about her and dare to bring up what she considers unspeakable suspicions.  Even if she is perfectly innocent.  And if the harasser is older, a head taller and a hundred pounds heavier, or in authority over her, she will be too scared to speak.  If she needs the job, the class, the promotion, the grades, or whatever it is she might lose if she talks, she will keep quiet for years, even decades.

              So stop judging.  If you are a man, don't say a word.  You have no idea what it's like.  You don't have a participation trophy.
 
​“Judge not, that you be not judged. ​For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. (Matt 7:1-2)
 
Stop by tomorrow for practical advice on avoiding sexual harassment.
Dene Ward