Popcorn is our snack of choice when watching ball games.  We make it the old fashioned way—bacon grease in a large saucepan, bulk popcorn from a large plastic bag, and salt.  Heat it over high heat, shaking the pan until it stops popping.  The stuff out of the microwave cannot begin to compare.
            We still wind up with what the industry calls “old maids,” kernels that have not popped.  Usually it’s the kernel’s fault, not the popper’s. 
            They tell me that popcorn kernels are the only grain with a hard moisture-proof hull.  That means that not only can moisture not get into the kernel, but the moisture inside the kernel cannot get out either.  As you heat them, the steam inside increases until the pressure reaches 135 psi and the heat 180 degrees Celsius (356 for us non-scientists).  At that point, the starch inside the kernel gelatinizes, becoming soft and pliable.   When the hull explodes the steam expands the starch and proteins into the airy foam we know as popcorn.
            I found two theories about old maids.  One is that there is not enough moisture in the kernel to begin with; the other is that the hull develops a leak, acting as a release valve so that pressure cannot build enough for the “explosion.”  Either way, the kernels just sit there and scorch, becoming harder and drier as they cook.
            Isn’t that what happens when we undergo trials?  Some of us use the experience to flower into a stronger, wiser, more pleasant personality.  Others of us sit there and scorch in the heat until we dry up completely, no use for God or His people, let alone ourselves.  The resulting bitterness is reflected in the cynical way we view the world, the way we continue to wallow in the misery of our losses, and the impenetrable barrier we raise whenever anyone tries to help us.  As Israel said when they had forsaken God for idols and knew they would be punished, Our bones have dried up, our hope is lost, we are clean cut off, Ezek 37:11.  When we refuse to seek God in our day of trouble, when we forget the blessings He has given us even though we deserved none, that is the result.
            But God can help even the hopeless.  He can bring us back from despair.  He can make our hearts blossom in the heat of trial if we remember the lesson about priorities, about what really counts in the end.  If we have only hoped in Christ in this life, we are of all men most pitiable, 1 Cor 15:19, and that is exactly where we find ourselves if we allow anything in this life to steal our faith in God. 
            Trials are not pleasant; they are not meant to be.  They are meant to create something new in us, something stronger and more spiritual.  When, instead, we become hard and bitter, we are like the old maids in a bag of popcorn, and when the popcorn fizzles, it’s the popcorn’s fault.
 
For our light affliction, which is for the moment, works for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Cor 4:17,18.
 
Dene Ward
 

Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

Sometimes I wonder whether our modesty has become a bushel that hides our light. Paul on occasion found the need to boast of the things he had suffered to preach, list the things he had given up to follow Jesus, and report the work he had done by God's grace (2Cor 11:16-33, Phil 3:4-7, Acts 14:27, 15:12). Not only so, but Barnabas's generosity was known to the whole church (Acts 4:36-37). Somehow, it seems we have let our fear of appearing like Ananias and Sapphira keep us from letting our light shine. Of course, many of you have already figured out that the above is my excuse for doing a little boasting. Judge whether it is light shining or ego.

For most of our 48 ½ years, Dene and I have lived with our financial noses barely above water and occasionally sputtered and bubbled a little bit. Then, beginning with the death of my parents we got our chins out and with the passing of hers, we find ourselves to be relatively comfortable. We have lived in the same 24 X 56 doublewide since the boys were 5 and 3 (1982) and have upgraded it over the years with a screened porch (her father's gift), a roofover, siding, kitchen cabinets, laminate flooring, but, it is still a mobile home. After the emotions settled from her mother's passing, we discussed building a house on our 5 acres. We can afford it now, a REAL HOUSE!

We decided not. Our grandparents raised 3-8 children in houses much smaller than even this trailer. At my age, we may be here a few more years or a few more days so a house might be all the disruption with little benefit. Finally, many had helped us along the way and we longed for this opportunity to help others. So, we will continue to pray throughout the hurricane season for truly, we live in a house of sticks.

In the last few years, we have helped preachers in Nicaragua, Africa and a few in the U.S. We have donated to St Judes (Not Catholic affiliated), the hospice that cared for our (Dene's) Mom, Sacred Selections, Florida College, etc. We continue to live under the budget set when I retired with an occasional splurge.
I am aware of a number of other twice blessed brethren who have followed the same principle and given much more in dollars, so the following will not apply to many of our readers.

But, it is immediately obvious on the face that many if not most church members are more interested in bigger houses, newer cars, fashionable clothes, recreation, etc. than they are in furthering the work of the Lord. Look where their money goes! Look where their time goes! Listen to what they talk about most. Bigger Barns.

We pray every night for the Christians in other countries that struggle for enough to eat, make decisions about going hungry or buying medicine for an ongoing illness, and other such problems, but who are rich in faith.

We pray just as fervently for Christians in America who are not aware that God is blessing them to meet those needs, not so they can have bigger, better, and more.
 
"Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, THAT HE MAY HAVE TO GIVE TO HIM THAT NEEDS. " (Eph 4:28).
"And he answered them, “Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise"  (Luke 3:11).  
"CONTRIBUTE TO THE NEEDS OF THE SAINTS, pursue hospitality." (Rom 12:13).
"Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and GENEROUS TO THOSE IN NEED, always being ready to share with others. " (1Tim 6:18).
Jesus and the apostles said one does not have to be rich to share.
 
Keith Ward
 
 

"The church is full of sinners."
            You might have heard this one yourself, it is so common, both from outsiders and from fallen brothers.  In fact, you might have heard a specific sin listed, usually hypocrisy.  My first reaction to the above statement though is, "Well, duh—."  Just like AA is full of alcoholics, the church is full of sinners.
            Let me say quickly that I have a little beef with that notion myself.  Yes, we have all sinned (Rom 3:23) and we all need saving.  Yes, we are all in the process of reformation.  Just like AA is full of reforming alcoholics who sometimes still slip, so the church is full of reforming sinners who still on occasion slip and fall, sometimes rather ignominiously.  But we should also have a healthy sense of our transformation.  "Such were some of you," Paul says after a particularly heinous list of sins, "but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified…" (1 Cor 6:11).  He regularly calls us "saints."  So let's quit demeaning ourselves with this humility so-called by beating on our breasts and moaning, "I am such a sinner."  Let's stop giving ourselves an easy excuse.  But that's another lesson for another day.
            To the point being made by this accusation, none of us is perfect, but tell me of a group of any people that is…. I'm waiting…Oh, you can't?  No, you cannot find a perfect group of people anywhere, so is this excuse really valid?  In fact, can I point you to another group you might have expected perfection from and not gotten it? 
            Among the twelve Jesus himself chose we had Peter the Denier, Judas the Thief and Betrayer, Thomas the Doubter, James and John the Sons of Thunder who also had an ambitious streak in them, Matthew the former publican who might still have had an occasional temptation to covet, and Simon the Zealot whose former intimates participated in outright rebellion, including assassinations.  Did any of them leave the Lord because of their fellows' past or current faults or weaknesses?  They understood who they followed and why they followed him, and did not use another's mistakes to try and excuse their own.
            And then, after the Lord set up his kingdom here on earth, the one that was to endure forever (Dan 2:44), suddenly we read of Ananias and Sapphira, liars and cheats.  Divisions arose about bias in the benevolence process.  A large argument that went on for years came between some of the Jewish and Gentile converts, and public squabbles arose between prominent people (Acts 15:36-40; Phil 4:2,3).  And it doesn't end there.  Hymenaeus, Philetus, and Diotrophes don't even round out the ones who caused trouble.  But did Paul use that as an excuse to leave the Lord?  Did Timothy?  Did Barnabas or Titus or John or Jude or—well, you get the point, I am sure. 
            No, the people in the church are not perfect.  That group is made up of flawed people, people who know they need the Lord and the salvation he offers, people who know their weaknesses and battle them constantly, but never give up.  People who would never purposefully leave his kingdom in the hands of the wicked by walking away, disappointed that not everyone is as wonderful as they seem to think they are. As long as there are people who would not know humility if it bit them on the nose, or who cannot take responsibility for their own issues, you will hear this as an excuse for leaving the Lord.  Get used to it.  It may be a sign that you are in the right place after all.
 
For there must be also factions among you, that they that are approved may be made manifest among you (1Cor 11:19).
 
Dene Ward
 

There is no doubt historically that the first century church used only vocal music.
            “All the music employed in their early services was vocal,” Frank Landon Humphreys, Evolution of Church Music.
            “[Early church music was] purely vocal,” Dr Frederic Louis Ritter, Director, School of Music, Vassar.
         “While pagan melodies were always sung to instrumental accompaniment, the church chant was exclusively vocal.  Clement says, ‘Only one instrument do we use, the word of peace…’ Chrysostom: ‘Our tongues are the strings of the lyre, with a different tone, indeed, but with a more accordant piety.’  Ambrose expresses his scorn for those who would play the lyre and psaltery instead of singing hymns and psalms…Augustine adjures believers not to turn their hearts to theatrical instruments.  The[se] religious guides of the early Christians felt that there would be an incongruity, and even profanity, in the use of…instrumental sound in their…spiritual worship…the pure vocal utterance was the more proper expression of their faith.”  Edward Dickinson, Professor of Music History, Conservatory of Music, Oberlin, Music in the History of the Western Church.
            “[There was a time] when organs were very seldom found outside the Church of England.  The Methodists and Baptists rarely had them, and by the Presbyterians they were strongly opposed…even in the Church of England itself, organs did not obtain admission without much controversy,” John Spencer Curwin, Royal Academy of Music.
            From A History of Western Music by Donald Jay Grout:  Early Christian music was monophonic, meaning it had no harmony or counterpoint—everyone sang the same tune.
            Judaism had a huge influence on the singing in the early church.  Psalms were sung almost exclusively in the beginning, in several different ways.  Sometimes they sang in alternation between a soloist and the congregation.  This was called RESPONSORIAL PSALMODY.  Sometimes two parts of verses or alternate verses were sung by two groups.  This was called ANTIIPHONAL PSALMODY.  At still other times a SOLOIST sang a certain passage using melodic formulas which could be altered to suit the cadence of the text.  Because he was doing it ad lib, it was simply impossible for anyone else to sing with him.
            Early hymns were probably sung to folk tunes the people knew, and were eventually put into a book.  The oldest piece of church music found was a hymn of praise.  We have only the last few lines and it was so mutilated it could not be completely reconstructed.  It was found in Oxyrhynchos, Egypt and dated from the end of the third century (200’s).  It is known as the Oxyrhynchos fragment. 
            The emphasis of music in the early church was on ecstasy (Spirit-filled revelation) and individual liberty, 1 Cor 14:26.  It can be established absolutely that the early church sang without instrumental accompaniment.
           A capella does not mean unaccompanied music.  A capella is Latin for “in the style of the church.”  Everyone simply understood that sacred music in the church was to be sung without accompaniment because it always had been.
          When instrumental music was first introduced in the Catholic Church, it was fought vehemently, and only fully accepted several hundred years later, around the 11th century.  Even in the nineteenth century, some conservative denominations avoided it, calling it “Romanist,” as in "Roman Catholic.”
            The Greek Orthodox Church divided from the Roman Catholic Church in the 11th century.  (Today it consists of 13 branches, including the Russian Orthodox, Bulgarian Orthodox, Slavic Orthodox, etc.)  These native Greek speakers had two issues with the Romans, the use of the word baptizo and the word psallo.  They understood the original language and therefore rejected the introduction of sprinkling as baptism, and instrumental music in the singing of hymns.  They knew that the one word in the first century meant “immerse” and the other meant “sing” and nothing else.  To this day, the Orthodox Church still sings a cappella.
           
 A Personal Note
 
            Some of you might be surprised if I said, “Yes!  The early church had music.”  “They sang without music,” is a common error, and one of my pet peeves.  If you sing without music, you are a mighty poor singer!  Singing is music. 
            As someone who has been there, in college you study two types of music—instrumental or vocal.  Under the vocal division, you can sing with accompaniment or without--a capella.  So much for the piano being merely an incidental—it totally changes the type of music. 
            As a piano/vocal major, one of my music education professors reminded me not to be tempted to play the piano every time the children sang.  “They will never learn to carry a tune in a bucket,” she said, speaking of the crutch the piano would be to their ear development.  In fact, a capella choirs are considered the most elite because their singers must have a good ear to stay on pitch.  Any voice students I have had who were raised in the church singing a capella always had better aural capability than their friends in the denominations.  And I have always considered it a little presumptuous to think that a manmade instrument can improve on the one God made.
 
Dene Ward

The posts today and tomorrow will be a little different.  As a musician I am sometimes asked about our music practices in the church.  I hope these two posts will give you the information you need to answer similar questions.
 
I.  Characteristics of Language
           
            The first thing we need to understand is that words in any language change over the years.  What may have one meaning now, meant something else entirely a couple hundred years ago.
            Take the word “silly.”  We know it means “absurd, foolish or stupid.”  Did you know that it originally meant “happy and blessed?”  How about “lewd?”  It now means “sexually unchaste;” originally it meant “a common person as opposed to clergy.”  “Idiot” now has the specific meaning of “someone whose mental age does not exceed three,” and a colloquial meaning of “a foolish or stupid person.”  Originally it meant “someone in private station as opposed to someone holding public office.”  So five hundred years ago, most of us could have been described as silly, lewd idiots and we would not have taken offense!
            Be careful of root words too.  Do you know what the root word for “nice” is?  The Latin nescius.  Nescius means “ignorant!”  Think about that the next time someone tells you how nice you look on Sunday morning.  None of these English words’ early definitions have much of anything to do with the way they are used nowadays, so when you look up the definition of a Greek or Hebrew word you must be careful to find the definition for the time period of the original writing.  (The information for these two paragraphs come from Exegetical Fallacies by D. A. Carson.)
            “In the age of Alexander the Great…the Greek language underwent [a huge] change…a literary prose language was formed which was founded on the Attic dialect, yet differed from it by adopting a common Greek element…admitting numerous provincialisms.  A popular spoken language arose in which the previously distinct dialects spoken by the various Greek tribes were blended, with a predominance of the Macedonic variety.”  Dr George Benedict Winer, Grammar of the Greek Testament.
            “The usage of the classic Greek authors varies so much according to the time, place, subject, etc.”  Alexander Buttman, Grammar of the New Testament Greek.
            “…Gradual changes in the vocabulary were going on steadily through the whole period which [led up to the first century].  That force of spoken language which is always weakening old words and bringing in new expressions to be toned down in their turn, was acting powerfully in Greek as it does now in English.”  James Moulton, An Introduction to the Study of New Testament Greek.
            “The historical investigation of the language of the New Testament…has shown [it] to be…a specimen of the colloquial form of late Greek, and of the popular colloquial language in particular.”  Dr Adolph Deissman, New Light on the New Testament.
            “By far the most important changes…are those which refer to new or modified meanings given to already existing and current Greek words, whether in the old Classic or in the new Postclassical Greek.  It is these changes which especially concern us in the study of the New Testament.” Charles Louis Loos, Professor Emeritus of Greek Language and Literature, Christian Quarterly Review.
            Accordingly, psallo went through the following changes in meanings as the years progressed:
 
            To pull out one’s hair
            To pull the string of a bow
            To twitch a carpenter’s line
            To play a musical instrument
            To sing (any type of song)
            To sing praises
 
Psalmos went through these changes:
 
            Music of a harp
            A song accompanied by a musical instrument
            A song, sacred or secular, accompanied or a capella
            A hymn of praise
 
            I found the following definitions for psallo and its derivative psalmos as they were used in the first century AD:
 
Robinson—in later usage, a song of praise to God.
Pickering—a psalm, an ode, a hymn
Groves—a psalm or hymn
Donnegan—by later writers, a hymn or ode
Parkhurst—to sing, to sing praises or songs to God
Dunbar—to sing, or celebrate with hymns
Greenfield—to sing, to sing in honor or praise of, to celebrate in song; a sacred song
Cantopolous—to sing or celebrate
Maltby—to praise
Hamilton—to sing; a song or hymn
Thayer—to sing; to celebrate the praises of God in song; a pious song
Sophocles (Greek playwright)—to chant or sing religious hymns
Green—in the New Testament to sing; in the New Testament, a sacred song
 
            By the first century it is obvious that the word psallo had left behind any meaning having to do with strings and simply meant “to sing.”  Psalmos had become far more specific than its origins and was used to refer only to sacred unaccompanied songs.
            Tomorrow we will continue this study.
 
Dene Ward

No, I am not going to give you any study "shortcuts."  In my experience, they aren't worth much.  The actual process of studying, the time spent and the work done, is what matters.  If you are trying to save time and still learn copious amounts of scripture, your heart is not in it.  God expects you to care enough about Him and His Word that you don't mind the time it takes.  Besides that, it just won't work.
            The issue here is one we all have, and have more and more as we age—remembering what we learned.  At the risk of having people laugh at me, I am going to tell you some of the things I do to overcome this problem.  I do not expect you to follow the same procedures as I, but to be emboldened to find your own memory crutches, the things that make sense to your mind and that work for you.  Mine may not do that.  We all seem to learn in different ways, so pay attention to your own particular abilities and use them to the best.
            First, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making up little songs to help memorize scriptures or lists in scriptures.  You did it as a child when you learned the apostles, the sons of Jacob, and the books of the Bible.  The list does not have to rhyme and you do not have to come up with a new tune.  Using an old one, even something like "Mary Had a Little Lamb," is just fine.  It's perfectly scriptural:  teaching and admonishing yourselves in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.  I knew a woman who memorized scores of passages just by singing them.  What's wrong with that?  If anyone laughs at you, just ask them how many passages they know by memory!
            Then there are mnemonic devices.  I had a terrible time remembering which prophets spoke to Israel and which to Judah.  Finally I wrote them down and there it was—only two to Israel, Hosea and Amos.  "HA!"  I said to myself, and ever since then I have remembered it.  H for Hosea and A for Amos—HA!  It can be just that silly.  I even shared it with my classes and now they can remember it too.  When they do forget, I just look at them and say, "HA!" and instantly the two names are practically shouted across the classroom, usually with a laugh.
            Then there are the spelling similarities.  Ever since I was a child and learned the story of the divided kingdom, I instantly noticed the names of the first king of each nation:  Jeroboam and Rehoboam.  Out of 8 letters, 6 are the same.  So which was king in which kingdom?  In this case you remember a negative:  Jeroboam (which begins with a J) was NOT the king of Judah (which also begins with a J).  Maybe I was a lazy child, but I did that from the beginning as soon as I saw those two names and have never had trouble since.
            The alphabet is common in many of my devices.  How about Leah and Rachel?  Whose handmaid was Bilhah and whose was Zilpah?  I just sat down one day and looked at the names and the letters they started with.  If you put the sisters in alphabetical order (L and R) and the handmaids in reverse alphabetical order (Z and B), you've got it.  Leah's handmaid was Zilpah and Rachel's was Bilhah.
            Maybe because I have studied them for so long, I don't really have any trouble matching husbands and wives in the Bible, but I have noticed that a lot of folks do.  I've heard people marry off Rebekah to Abraham more times than I have fingers and toes.  If you are one of those folks, here is the perfect opportunity for you to try this out for yourself.  First get your Bible and write down the husbands and wives, matching them up correctly (that's why you got your Bible).  Look at the names.  Look at the letters the names begin with.  Look at other facts about the couple.  Find something that makes sense to you and then spend a little time working on it.  The devices themselves must be easier to remember than the thing you are trying to remember or it defeats the purpose, but if you work for a little while now, it will save you hours of having to look up the basic facts, and you can then spend your study time on the depths of the Word.
            Now that we have had 18 posts on Study Tips, it is past time to get to work.  Make your own computer file and a document for each tip, placing them all where you can easily get to them.  Make use of these things, reviewing when necessary.  You might even try to come up with an exercise for each one.  Do whatever it takes to help yourself learn the Word of God, the Words of Life, the words whereby you shall be saved (Acts 11:14). 
            And don't worry if anyone laughs at you.
 
​​​​​​​ I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. (Ps 119:15)
 
Dene Ward
 

I have heard it all my life.  "The Bible is simple enough for anyone to understand."  If that's the case, why should I bother studying it beyond just reading a little every day?
            I agree whole-heartedly:  the Bible is simple enough for anyone to pick up and find out exactly what he needs to do to have his sins forgiven and enjoy a relationship with Christ.  But that is not all you can find in the Bible.  Remember what Peter said?
            And regard the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as also our dear brother Paul wrote to you, according to the wisdom given to him, speaking of these things in all his letters. Some things in these letters are hard to understand, things the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they also do to the rest of the scriptures. (2Pet 3:15-16) 
            And then we have this:  On this topic we have much to say and it is difficult to explain, since you have become sluggish in hearing. For though you should in fact be teachers by this time, you need someone to teach you the beginning elements of God’s utterances. You have gone back to needing milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is inexperienced in the message of righteousness, because he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, whose perceptions are trained by practice to discern both good and evil. (Heb 5:11-14)
            There are parts of God's message which are deeper, more intricate, and not quite so simple to figure out.  There are places we can dig and dig and dig and still not fully comprehend them, not until we have been at it for years and suddenly a light bulb goes off.  I believe God meant that to happen in order to keep us coming back for more.  And continuing to study and meditate, compare scriptures and analyze them, plumb the depths of a given passage until it has nothing left to give also does this:  it demonstrates to our Father exactly how much we care about Him and His Word.  When was the last time you spent some time doing research on anything?  What was it?  A disease?  A medication?  A politician?  A restaurant?  And why?  Because you really felt a need to know more for one reason or another.  Shouldn't we feel that way about God too?
            Your faith should not be a Sunday morning ritual, and that is all it is if you fail to open your Bible throughout the week.  Under the Old Law, priests offered daily sacrifices, Ex 29:38-42; Lev 6:20.  Peter says that under the New Law, we are the priests, 1 Pet 2:9.  Our whole lives are the sacrifice, Rom 12:1, not just our Sunday mornings.
            And one final reason to study—you have been taught a lot of incorrect things in your life.  Yes, even if you "grew up in the church."  I have heard more faulty arguments, more incorrect statements, and more unscriptural beliefs proclaimed in Sunday morning adult Bible classes than I have from my pagan friends.  And we don't even know they are wrong!
            Understand this:  God will not let you into Heaven because someone else taught you wrong.    …If someone who is blind leads another who is blind, both will fall into a pit. Matt15:14.
            If you teach someone else something wrong, his blood will be on your head.  Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters, because you know that we will be judged more strictly. Jas3:1.  That doesn't mean just teachers who stand up in front of a class; it counts for anyone you talk to, even one-to-one.
            Do you get it now?  Bible study is important.  It isn't optional.  No, you may not have the capacity to be a real Biblical scholar, but isn't it odd that the one place we don't mind being told, in fact, we proclaim ourselves, the one place that we are too dumb to learn is the Bible, because we think that lets us off the hook?  If that is our problem, let's work on our hearts first, then maybe the study problem will take care of itself.
 
He replied, “You have been given the opportunity to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but they have not.  For whoever has will be given more, and will have an abundance. But whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. Matt 13:11-12
​​​​​​​Give instruction to a wise person, and he will become wiser still; ​​​​​​teach a righteous person and he will add to his learning. Prov 9:9
 
Dene Ward

Parenting articles can only do so much.  The biggest problem is making parents understand their role.  Once they get what it’s all about, they usually do their best to accomplish the goal.  If they have the wrong goal or worse maybe, no goal at all, they will flounder around and do nearly everything wrong.  Believe me, you do enough wrong when you are actually trying to do right.  So here are, not a huge list no one is capable of remembering under stress, but just a couple of things, suitable for any circumstance. Remember these and you will come far closer to being good parents than you would have before.

1. YOU ARE THE BOSS.
            First, being parents means YOU are in charge.  You are supposed to be older and wiser, the ones God meant to guide their way.  You do not have to ask your children’s permission for anything. 
            You don’t say, “Would like a bath?”  Instead you gently lead them toward the bathroom where you already have the water running and say, “It’s time for a bath!”  You don’t ask them, “Do you want to go to bed now?”  You begin whatever their bedtime routine is and lead them that way.  If you have done this from the beginning, you will not have any problems.  It’s only if you are just now trying to change the habits of a two year old that things become difficult.  Make it easy on yourself by getting it right from the start.
            When I see parents who are afraid of their children, cringing when they have to say, “Not today,” I know something has gone dreadfully wrong.  When a child knows she can pitch a fit in a store and get exactly what she wants, she has not learned who is in control.
            It is not bad to think this way, no matter what some child raising guru might tell you.  This is how you teach them respect for authority.  They need to know without question that when mom and dad say they should do something, that’s exactly what they should do.  It will make school easier for them (and their teachers).  It will make their work lives easier.  It will certainly make it easier when they understand the authority of the law of the land.  Do you know how many young men have sat across the desk from my husband thinking they could still go wherever they wanted to go even if they were under house arrest?  When they wound up in prison for violating their probation, they finally understood.
            And understanding and respecting authority will ultimately save their souls.  Eli forgot that, and because he did not “restrain” his sons but sat back while they profaned the tabernacle and its worship, they lost their lives and their souls, and he lost his life and his family the priesthood.  And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. Therefore I swear to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.” (1Sam 3:13-14)

2.  YOUR JOB IS TO RAISE THEM TO BE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS.
And of course, as a Christian, you can add, “an obedient and faithful child of God.”
            That means you don’t do everything for them.  Can they make their own bed?  Can they sew on a button?  Can they wash their own clothes?  Can they iron a wrinkled shirt?  Can they write a check?  You would be surprised how many kids get to college and haven’t learned any of these things because Mama always did it for them.
          It means you make them work and expect that work to be done according to some set standard.  Of course you tailor the work to their ages and abilities.  You don’t put a five year old out to mow the yard, but he can certainly pick up his toys every night.
            It means you teach them common decency and manners.  They should show gratitude for gifts and service.  I remember that I was taught to say to the woman who had invited us over for dinner, “I enjoyed my meal.  Thank you very much.”  Which presupposes that you have taught them not to look at a proffered meal over which someone slaved for hours and say, “Yuk.  I don’t like that!”  We had a rule in our house.  If you said “Yuk!”—even to me—you had to eat a double portion. 
            It means you allow them to fail once in a while.  If you fix every problem they get themselves into, what have they learned?  Mama cannot fix it when the police come after him.  Far better he find out that actions have consequences when the consequences are much smaller.  Yes, it will still seem like a lot to him when he discovers that you cannot necessarily replace an expensive toy he left out in the rain, but it won’t be prison time, and he is far less likely to even face that on down the road after he learned this lesson on something less important.
            It also means you teach him that he is not the center of the universe.  He may be that to you, but don’t let him know it, not if you expect him to become a generous and considerate adult.  One way you do that is to make sure your MARRIAGE is the center of the home, not the children.  They need to see that marriage played out in front of them every day.  They even need to see the mistakes and the fact that you forgive one another and hang in there because of a thing called commitment.   When you have finished raising those children and they are out the door, if your marriage has been neglected, you will have nothing left.   I have seen it too many times.
            Expect them to learn to sacrifice for the good of the family.  Dad does not give up a good promotion because Susie doesn’t want to move and leave her friends.  If you have done your job, that shouldn’t even come up. 
            Expect them to take responsibility for their own lives, gradually at first, but eventually learning to do their homework without being reminded, and their Bible class lessons the same way.  Teach them to make smart choices.  You start by laying out two or three acceptable outfits for kindergarten and allowing them to choose which one they want to wear.  You do NOT start by letting them choose from the whole assortment.  Appropriate behavior, language, and dress are essential to courtesy.  Jesus himself used a parable in which a man inappropriately dressed for a wedding was thrown out, and Jesus approved whole-heartedly.  You are not stifling his creativity by not allowing him free rein.  From what I have seen, that excuse has less to do with enlightened parenting and more to do with lazy parenting.  You are supposed to be teaching them wisdom in their decision making.
            David made the mistake of teaching Adonijah that he could have whatever he wanted, no matter who it hurt, no matter what his father wanted, and no matter what God had said otherwise.  Now Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” And he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. His father had never at any time displeased him by asking, “Why have you done thus and so?” (1Kgs 1:5,6)  And the result?  Adonijah wound up executed.
            So those are my two basic rules.  Remember who is in charge—BE in charge--and teach them to become the kind of adults you won’t be ashamed of, in fact, the kind of adults God would not be ashamed of.  If you think of those two things in every situation, I guarantee you will do more right than wrong.
 
And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Heb 12:5-6)
 
Dene Ward

But solid food is for full-grown men, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern good and evil, Heb 5:14.
 
            I was amazed to find out that “full-grown” is more often translated “perfect,” at least in the ASV.  That is ironic to me, because while I will quickly say, “I am not perfect,” I would find myself a little miffed if I were called “spiritually immature.”  At my age?  Surely I am a mature Christian by now.
            So I looked up that Greek word and the places it is translated “perfect.”  It quickly became apparent that the word does not mean “sinless.”  While we understand that the meaning of a word varies according to its context in English, we seem to forget that when it comes to reading the Bible and talking about those Hebrew and Greek words.  Yet, in any language, the meaning of a word is limited by its use.  And so I read “mature” in every passage I found that word translated “perfect,” and found out how to recognize a mature Christian. [When you read all these passages, be sure to read “spiritually mature” every time you see “perfect.”]
            The maturity level of a Christian is shown by how he treats his enemies (Matt 5:43-48), by how he controls his tongue (James 3:2), by how attached he is to his earthly possessions (Matt 19:21).  A mature Christian is not easily deceived, not changeable from day to day, and speaks from a motivation of love, even when correcting someone, not from a desire for revenge, or from a feeling of arrogance, and certainly not to cause controversy for the sake of controversy (Eph 4:13-15).  A mature Christian will endure, (James 1:4), and in fact, stand fully assured of his salvation (Col 4:12).  When I look at those characteristics I can see that I have a way to go before I finally grow up, but at least I have some detailed areas to work on now instead of blindly aiming for some sort of vague idea of maturity or perfection.
            One time, a few years ago, one of the residents at the medical school recently told me that I did not look as old as my chart said I was.  That was a nice moment in the day, one totally unexpected (and probably not true any more).  Wouldn’t if be awful though, if he had said that I didn’t act as old as I was?  That is where the test comes—not in how long I have been a Christian, but in how much I have grown as one.
 
So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us.  God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love [made mature] with us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world, 1 John 4:16,17.
           
Dene Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.

Deut. 1:3  "And it came to pass in the fortieth year, in the eleventh month, on the first day of the month, that Moses spake unto the children of Israel, according unto all that Jehovah had given him in commandment unto them"

In our last discussion of how Moses taught, we showed how Moses only taught the people what the Lord had told him to say.  In new situations, Moses went to the Lord to learn what needed to be done. He never took it upon himself to speak for the Lord.  He only commanded as the Lord commanded him.  In the above verse, we see a difference of emphasis.  As Moses began his last series of addresses to the people we are told that he spoke all that the Lord had commanded.  He didn't pick and choose.  He didn't only tell them the stuff that sounded pleasant or that would build their egos.  He didn't cater to those with "itching ears" who would "turn away their ears from the truth and turn aside to fables." (2 Tim. 4:3-4)
 
All too often, modern preachers -- catering to modern audiences -- only preach the nice things in the New Testament.  They preach on salvation, heaven, and the blessings of God.  They preach about the ability to do "all things through Him that strengthens me" and all things "working together for the good of them that love the Lord".  While these things are Biblical principles that should be taught, the same supposed "Gospel Preachers" never seem to mention the harder truths of the New Testament.  Too many preachers ignore the passages calling for sacrifice, for putting to death who we were and striving to grow in Christian qualities, no matter how difficult that is.  We don't hear about being in submission one to another, in humility putting others before ourselves or that we should consider our needs of least concern in the face of the needs of the brethren.  We are rarely warned anymore of Hell or of the immediacy of the need to repent.  "While it is called Today," the writer of Hebrews implores. 
 
Moses spent long passages extolling the blessings of God and the wonders of the Promised Land to which the people were going.  He prophesied that the other nations of the world would bow down to Israel as the chosen of God if Israel would keep the covenant.  Moses spent longer passages, however, warning of the curses that would come upon the people if they sinned and the ultimate results of breaking the covenant they had made with God.  Most everyone is more motivated by avoiding the bad than they are by attaining the good.  God knows this and so instructed Moses to teach, yet modern preachers far too often leave out any hint of consequences in their so-called "Gospel" sermons.  Ironic, since we know more about the Hell from the teachings of Jesus than from all other sources combined.
 
Preachers: do better.  Be sure to present the whole word of God.  Audiences: demand better.  If all you want is your ego to be stroked, then you won't find that in a Biblical church.  If you want to be challenged unto salvation, however, that is what the Gospel does.  Demand Gospel preaching!
 
One final thought:  Moses taught all.  He didn't set up a system of secret knowledge available only to the initiated so that a select few could lord it over the rest of the people.  Moses taught all.  If you are part of some group that has a system of levels that one must climb to attain the true, hidden knowledge then you are not a part of a group that follows the Biblical example.  The lowliest Christian has full access to the revelation of God through His word.  That, in fact, is a major theme of 1 John.  Seek out the truth!
 
Acts 20:26-27  "Wherefore I testify unto you this day, that I am pure from the blood of all men.  For I shrank not from declaring unto you the whole counsel of God."

Lucas Ward