Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

One wonders how many times David said to himself, “That is why God gave me a neck.  Oh why did I look instead of turning my head?”

First, note that David was the one on the roof, not Bathsheba.  According to the practice of the time, she would have been in an enclosed courtyard, but from his rooftop, David could look over her wall.  And that word “saw”  is the same one used when Eve saw that the tree was good for food, when the sons of God saw the daughters of men, when Shechem saw Dinah and took her, et al., (Gen 3:6, 6:2, 34:2).  It implies more than inadvertently seeing and then averting one’s gaze, which can happen to anyone.  Bathsheba may be blameless.  Given the relative position of women in those days, against a king she was helpless.  Today, we would call a CEO vs a clerical worker, “Rape.”

How many times have we said, “But it was just a little thing, surely God will not care.” From David’s little failure to turn his head came adultery, then murder.  Little sins are stones sending ripples through our whole lives.

Then, his son Amnon emulated David’s unbridled lust by raping his half-sister Tamar.  How could David pretend moral high ground?  So when justice was not done according to the Law, Tamar’s full brother Absalom took the position of avenger of blood and slew Amnon and fled David’s wrath.  So David lost two sons.  But, he reconciled with Absalom after five years.  Then Absalom rebelled, aided by Ahithophel, Bathsheba’s grandfather.  Do you suppose David’s sin against her had something to do with the side he chose?  The revolution failed and Absalom was killed.  Some think Ahithophel may be the “familiar friend in whom I trusted, who did eat my bread, has lifted up his heel against me” that David referred to in Psa 41:9.  This seems unlikely in that David’s sin first betrayed Ahithophel.  Finally, imagine the leverage Joab now had over David.  David had bewailed Joab’s ambitious violence more than once.  Now, they are bound by it.
 
We have no idea what we set in motion when we commit a “little sin” like “looking.” The drug-addict did not choose that; he just had a desire to experience a high, to feel good.  Just this once.  The pornography-addict did not choose that, he/she just thought he would stimulate herself by watching pornography this once to be able to satisfy his mate (pronouns scrambled to indicate the ubiquitous nature of this sin). The thief intended only to “borrow” for a time and replace it later. The gossip did not intend to betray a friend.  Our lives may be destroyed, jobs lost, finances ruined, relationships demolished, futures forever altered. But, it is so unfair, it was just one mistake. Tell it to Uriah! Ahithophel! Tamar! Absalom! David.
 
And, “God has a better plan for you” is a lying solace. Where did God say he would do better with a person who chose to sin than with one who chose to be holy? Contrast David’s life ever after with Joseph’s who resisted stronger temptation and the same sin (Gen 39).
 
So, whatever the temptation, the sin is not a small thing.  TURN YOUR HEAD.  It is why God gave you a neck (made the way of escape from every temptation, 1Cor 10:13).
 
“But if you will not do so, behold, you have sinned against the LORD, and BE SURE YOUR SIN WILL FIND YOU OUT. " (Num 32:23).
 
"But do you suppose this, O man…that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, who will render to each person according to his deeds." (Rom 2:3-6).
 
Keith Ward
 

"No one can make me do anything."
            I have heard this more times than I can count.  Usually the person who says it turns right around and goes to the DMV to renew his driver's license because he got a reminder in the mail, pays his taxes by April 15, and drives the speed limit—whenever there is a trooper behind him or on the side of the road.  What he means is, as long as it's something that won't put me in jail or cost me a ton of money or take away an important privilege, you can't make me do it if I don't want to.  And there is the key—he doesn't want to do that thing so he won't.  Unfortunately, this is a very American attitude.  People who live under a dictatorship wouldn't dream of uttering those words.
            I suppose for the ordinary person that attitude is to be expected.  But when it comes out of the mouths of Christians, I wonder what exactly they think Christianity really is and why they would ever follow a Leader who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Phil 2:6-8).  He didn't especially want to do all that;  he asked three times that he not have to, but he always ended that prayer, Thy will be done.  Not his will, but God's.  Christianity is a religion of submission and yielding one's rights and liberties.  Anyone who thinks he can still do the will of God without putting the needs and desires of others ahead of his own does not understand what it means to be a disciple of the Lord. 
            God tells us to obey the civil government (Romans 13:1-7).  He tells us to obey the elders of the church (Heb 13:17).  He tells the younger men to submit to the older ones (1 Peter 5:5) and he tells us that all of us should submit to one another in our personal liberties if a man's soul is at stake (Romans 14, 1 Corinthians 8).  And then he tells us that if we love him we will keep his commandments (John 14:15), and that includes all those submission commandments.
            I wonder what the one who still utters that phrase above thought he was doing when he was baptized.  Sometimes I think we fail to mention that it's not just a ceremonial washing to get rid of sins, it is a ritual showing that we are pledging to devote our lives to the Lord, including our opinions, our preferences, our desires, and our attitudes.  If that isn't being done, then all that person did was get wet.
            But you know, that person is right.  No one can make him do anything.  It's up to him to learn to want to.
 
Now we that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each one of us please his neighbor for that which is good, unto edifying. For Christ also pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell upon me (Rom 15:1-3).
 
Dene Ward
 

If there is one thing Keith taught our sons, it is how to work.  Living on five acres with a huge garden, several animals, and a wood-burning stove for heat, but only rakes, shovels, hoes, a wheelbarrow, and a push mower to work with—no, it was not self-propelled, and we had no tractors or other power equipment—meant they had chores that had to be done or the family suffered.  They certainly did not appreciate the lesson then, but they have thanked him several times since they left home and entered the work force.  More than once their bosses have told me, “I wish I had a store full of your boys.”
            Lucas, my older son, spent some time in management with a large grocery chain.  He often laments the workers he has to deal with, who have no sense of responsibility, showing up late or not at all, who never anticipate needs, never see what needs doing on their own, or who simply lollygag around with no sense of urgency or efficiency.  The saddest ones, he says, are the young ones who really want to do a good job, but whose parents have never taught them how, either by assigning chores, or actually expecting them to be done well and on time.  The ones who irritate him the most are the ones who think showing up and clocking in means they are working, even if all they do is stand in the halls and talk.
            God has called us to work in his vineyard.  I am sure he is patient with those who need to learn how to work.  But some treat their job in the vineyard as an entitlement that precludes any notion of actual labor.  As long as they clock in (submit in baptism, show up on Sunday morning—choose your application), they are “earning” their paycheck.  We have forgotten that the only “wages” we can earn is death.  Eternal life is a precious gift, and how we work in the vineyard is directly proportionate to our gratitude for it.  Am I standing in the halls talking, or am I wearing myself out laboring for the Lord?
 
Let us therefore labor to enter in that rest, that no man fall after the same example of disobedience.  Heb 4:11
 
Dene Ward

Perhaps you remember Newton’s second law of motion from high school physics (or is it the third?  Hey!  At least I can remember the law):  for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
            Sometimes we live our lives by this law as well.  We constantly react to what others do, and excuse it because of what the other person did first.  Christianity is a life of action not reaction.  My actions should not depend upon what other people do, but upon what is right and what is wrong.  Any time I let someone else’s behavior “cause” me to do something; I am actually letting that person control me.  How often have I said, “He made me so mad?”  No, he didn’t. I let myself get angry.  When I stand before the throne of God, I will not be judged on other people’s deeds but upon mine, no matter what the other guy did first. 
            Most of us know this, and readily spout the appropriate answers when called upon in Sunday morning Bible study, but when we get out in the world things are always “different.”  No, they are not.  These things apply to my relationship with my next door neighbor, my co-workers, my family, yes, even to that driver up in front of me!  Then there is the matter of poor service in a restaurant, or a delay in the doctor’s office, or a faulty product that needs returning.  All of these offer me a chance to act as a Christian, not react as an unbeliever who has no self-control.  Yes, in our society we are allowed to voice our concerns over shoddy service and merchandise, but Christians never have the right to make a scene or be verbally abusive.  By letting others control me, I am showing how weak I truly am, not how strong.
            Christians control themselves—they do not let others do it.  Is this easy?  Not with Satan constantly whispering in my ear, “He had it coming.”  Like Eve, I often listen to him.  But this is how important ignoring that whisper is:  I must constantly ask myself why I have acted as I have.  If the answer starts, “Because he/she/they…” I am condemned already.
 
Jesus’ Laws of Motion:         
For this is acceptable, if for conscience toward God a man endures griefs, suffering wrongfully.  For what glory is it if, when you sin and are buffeted for it, you shall take it patiently?  But if, when you do well and suffer for it you shall take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.  For hereunto were you called:  because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow his steps; who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth; who, when he was reviled, reviled not again, when he suffered, threatened not, but committed himself to him that judges righteously.   1 Pet 2:19-23
 
And as you would that men should do to you, do you also to them likewise. And if you love those who love you, what thank have you?  For even sinners love those who love them.  And if you do good to them that do good to you, what thank have you?  For even sinners do the sane.  And if you lend to those of whom you hope to receive, what thank have you?  Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive again as much.  But love your enemies and do them good, and lend, never despairing, and your reward shall be great, and you shall be sons of the Most High, for he is kind toward the unthankful and evil.  Luke 6:31-35
 
Dene Ward

I have discovered a new body part.  It is called the “forgetter.”  A few weekends ago, it ran in overdrive.  On Saturday morning I melted the butter, then forgot to put it in the pecan waffle batter.  I preheated the waffle iron on high, then forgot to turn it down to medium.  Tough black waffles were not what I planned for breakfast.
            On Sunday morning I seasoned the roast with salt, pepper, fresh thyme and marjoram, browned it in olive oil, chopped some onions, garlic, and celery and sautéed them in the drippings, deglazed the pan, then put everything back in with potatoes and carrots. Sounds like a great cooking show, right?  I set the temperature on the oven, set the timer to start while we were gone, and walked out of the house without turning it on!  I knew we were in trouble when I walked in and sniffed and that aroma that instantly makes your stomach stand up and beg was missing.
            I always used to think the passage in James about the man who looks into the mirror and then walks away forgetting what he saw, was a little farfetched.  But now I regularly look at myself in the mirror every morning, walk away and get sidetracked making a bed or sorting laundry, taking a phone call or paying a bill, and forget to comb my hair until I look again a couple of hours later.  Lucky for me I have a head full of curls and the style these days is to look like your hair has not seen a comb for three weeks.  Celebrities pay big bucks for such a look.  So I can get by, right?  Everyone will think I just have the same hairstyle as some glamorous movie star.  When I looked out and said good morning to the meter reader the other day, the look he gave me said he was not fooled a bit.
            So it is not as difficult now to realize that people can look at the mirror of God’s word and walk away, forgetting to change themselves.  They are as easily distracted by the “cares and riches and pleasures of this life,” as I am by assorted housekeeping duties, and the Word is choked out of them, Luke 8:14.   But change is the essence of repentance; it is the point where self is pushed aside, and obedience and service to the Lord becomes my reason for living.  If I can see in God’s word what I need to be and do, and then walk away without doing it, I have not turned my life over to Him—I have not been converted, or else I have turned my back on that commitment like an unfaithful spouse.  That is why the Old Testament prophets call it spiritual adultery. 
            Sometimes I forget because I want to forget.  In a culture where self-control is a scarce commodity, it’s easier to say, “That’s just the way I am.”  It’s even easier to never look in the mirror in the first place because I do not want to see anything wrong with myself.  But God won’t be fooled any more easily than my meter reader was.
            Remember to look in the mirror this morning, and don’t forget what you see.
 
But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deluding yourselves.  For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man seeing his natural face in a mirror; for he sees himself and goes away, immediately forgetting what kind of man he saw.  But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty, and so continues, being not a hearer that forgets, but a doer who works, this man shall be blessed in his doing.  James 1:22-25.
 
Dene Ward

I am sure that you have done it too, at least once in all these years, on a day when things were not going well and your heart was aching and your mind was in a whirl, you have said to yourself, "What was I thinking?"  About what, you ask?  About why you married that particular person.
            Some folks might say, "You weren't," thinking, that is.  But the truth is that you were.  You were thinking about how wonderful he was and all the sweet things he said and did when he was courting you.  That's all you were thinking about—the good, the overwhelming good, that wins someone's heart.
            And today, when you asked yourself that other question?  Well, today you were thinking about the bad, the frustrating, irritating, aggravating, thoughtless things he does, and you were dwelling on them over and over and over.
            No, it is not always that simple, but in many cases, when I see a woman crying because of a man, or a man stewing because of a woman, it is exactly that simple.  So today's short but simple lesson is this:  stop focusing on the bad, the things you don't like about him or her.  Start remembering the good things he does for you, the sweet remembrances, the kind gestures, the handpicked wildflowers and the cup of coffee before you get out of bed.  And remember, he sometimes asks himself that question too, so give him some good things to think about today.  I bet you both will feel better tonight.
 
​Set me as a seal on your heart, as a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death; ardent love is as unrelenting as Sheol. Love’s flames are fiery flames — the fiercest of all. ​Mighty waters cannot extinguish love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If a man were to give all his wealth for love, it would be utterly scorned (Song 8:6-7).
 
Dene Ward
 

I am sure you have heard this prayer in Bible classes:  "Help us to apply these things to our daily lives."  As we saw yesterday, that's a whole lot easier said than done.
            The man who amens a lesson on longsuffering, bearing with one another, kindness and returning good for evil, will forget it as soon as he gets behind the wheel.
            The woman who compliments a sermon on modesty will head to the beach with 90% of her body showing.
            One thing I have learned in fifty years of teaching is that "applying these things" needs a little help along the way.  Making a few specific applications from real life situations can get people thinking about their own circumstances much more quickly.
            Let me say this about that:  making a few specific examples is NOT the same thing as making a checklist.  "Teach people to have a good heart and the rest will follow," is a wonderful ideal, but naïve and unworkable.  It almost always comes from the mouth of someone under forty, or who is simply brand new at teaching.  Plenty of good-hearted people experience a complete disconnect when it comes to realizing that certain principles apply to the very things they are doing.  "But I'm a good person," they think, "so what I am doing can't be what he is talking about."  And so those vaguely expressed ideals float around above their heads, never touching the ground they actually walk on.
            Teachers, you must learn to give some concrete, real-to-life examples if you really want to help people.  Be aware that it will get you into trouble occasionally because without meaning to, you will hit a nail squarely on the head.  But that's your job—helping people change, grow, and become better servants of God.  If that never happens, something is wrong.  And if they decide to get mad and leave, it's the plainly spoken Word of God that caused it, not you.
 
And now, Lord…grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness.  And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness (Acts 4:29,31).
 
Dene Ward

About twenty years ago while on a camping trip in the mountains, we had to make a run to the local Wal-Mart for a few necessities.  Maybe it was a couple more of those squat green metal propane canisters for our Coleman camp stove, or maybe it was the year we woke up flat on the ground because our air mattress had split in a way that was impossible to mend.  While we were wandering through Sporting Goods, we spied a folding metal grill, basically a metal rack designed to splay its legs open over a campfire.
            For years we had been using an ancient wire refrigerator shelf we had found in some trash pile somewhere and cleaned up.  We had to prop it up on logs or rocks, the latter of which were better because they didn't catch fire and burn up.  When we saw the folding grill, we looked at one another and cried, "Genius!" and picked it up.  That flimsy little thing gave us twenty years or so of solid service.  It was probably the best $15 we ever spent.
            Last year we decided it was time to look for a new one.  We found one online easily, a heavy duty metal frame with a thick mesh surface and an even larger cooking area than the old one for about the same price.  We used it three or four times, then brought it home, slipped it back into its box, and packed it away with the other camping gear.
            A month ago we began pulling things out for our trip this year.  I wondered aloud why Keith had not gotten out the folding grill.
            "I did," he said.  "It's on the porch."
            "I didn't see it."  I had been looking for the big piece of cardboard we always wrapped around the old one and tied with a piece of twine.
            He must have realized my problem.  "We got a new one, remember?"
            "We did?"  And then he took me outside and showed me the box which sported a drawing of our nice new grill--which we had used the year before!  The problem was it was brand new, we used it three or four days, then put it away for 365+, never even talking about it again.  No wonder I forgot about it.
            That's one of the reasons we have such a hard time applying Bible principles we learn to our lives in the week.  We learn them in a special building on Sunday morning and promptly forget them when we get into our cars and drive home. Bright and early Monday morning they have completely slipped from our minds and nothing changes, not our words, not our thoughts, and certainly not our behavior.  We listened to a sermon, then put it up on a "shelf" or out in a "shed," and never thought about it again.
            Much of this is simple forgetfulness.  Quick!  What was the sermon about last Sunday morning?  See what I mean?  Perhaps, if we are truly serious about growing and becoming better disciples of the Lord, we can come up with some simple family activities to help us with this.  Just discussing the sermon on the way home or around the dinner table—even at a restaurant where a waiter might overhear—might do the trick.  Why not try it, or something similar, this week?
            There is yet another reason this happens and we will talk about that one tomorrow.
 
But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing (Jas 1:25).
 
Dene Ward
 

It’s fun watching them gradually realize that Grandma is Daddy’s Mom and that Gran-gran is Daddy’s Grandma, that Uncle is Daddy’s big brother and Grandma is Gran-gran’s little girl.  Silas is beginning to figure it out, but Judah still gets a funny look on his face when you try to explain it.  He raises those little eyebrows, cuts his eyes around and purses those lips—“And what have you been drinking?” he seems to think—except he wouldn’t understand that either.

We want them to know who family is because family matters.  We want them to understand that Silas’s middle name may be the name of an apostle, but it is also the name of one of his great-great-grandfathers; that Judah’s middle name may be the name of a great prophet, priest, and judge but it is the name of another great-great-grandfather as well.  Even if they never knew those men, there is a connection.

Just look at the book of Obadiah.  By the time it was written, few, if any, of the Edomites knew the Jews personally, but it still mattered to God that a long time before that Jacob and Esau had been brothers.  He expected those two nations to treat each other like brothers.

Because of the violence done to your brother Jacob, shame shall cover you, and you shall be cut off forever. ​On the day that you stood aloof, on the day that strangers carried off his wealth and foreigners entered his gates and cast lots for Jerusalem, you were like one of them. But do not gloat over the day of your brother in the day of his misfortune; do not rejoice over the people of Judah in the day of their ruin; do not boast in the day of distress. ​Do not enter the gate of my people in the day of their calamity; do not gloat over his disaster in the day of his calamity; do not loot his wealth in the day of his calamity. ​Do not stand at the crossroads to cut off his fugitives; do not hand over his survivors in the day of distress. Obadiah 1:10-14.

Because they did not help, because they “gloated” over their brothers’ misfortune, because they actively stood in the way to prevent escape, God judged the Edomites and destroyed them.  Their relationship with Israel was many generations removed, their people’s knowledge of one another socially was small if at all, yet they were still expected to act like brothers.

So what does God think about siblings who argue over estates?  About grudges that are held for decades?  About bad feelings that are passed down to the next generation instead of being hid out of shame that such a thing exists in their hearts?  God expects better of families, and why?  Because that is the model for His people, the church.

The church is often described as “the household (family) of God,” and that makes us brothers and sisters.  God expects us to act like flesh and blood brothers and sisters.  He expects us to love one another, not because we know one another, but because we are spiritually related—family.  He expects us to forgive, to forbear, to help, to encourage and yes, even to admonish just as an older brother or sister would a younger one.  It does not matter whether we “know” one another or not.

Let’s add this quickly because someone is thinking it—yes, God even expects us to put His spiritual family ahead of our physical families; but assuming that is not an issue, my family life, even with the most distant of relatives, had better be a good one.  How else will I know how to treat my brothers and sisters in Christ?
 
Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity. 1Tim 5:1-2
 
Dene Ward
 

I had finished my shopping in the small town grocery store and approached the check-out line with my wobbly shopping cart—somehow I had managed yet again to get the one with the wheel that won’t turn. 
The lady in front of me was much older than I, probably in her mid-sixties, wearing pink pancake makeup that showed a definite line along her jaw, and sporting a headful of gray curls.  She had on a blue flower-print house dress with a white Peter Pan collar and a hand-knitted cardigan a shade darker than the dress.  Her stockings sagged just a bit above her black shoes, the narrow black laces looped through a three-pair eyelet across the tongue.  She must have noticed me out of the corner of her eye when I pushed my cart into line behind her, because she suddenly stood straight up and looked around. 
            Her gasp was audible from several feet away and a dozen people looked at me as she asked, “What are YOU doing here?” 
            She was a member of the church we had moved to work with just a couple of weeks before.  Lucky for me I recognized her and could actually say her name when I greeted her.  Before I could add anything about needing a few groceries she must have realized how she had sounded and, trying to undo any harm said, “Well, I guess you DO have to eat like the rest of us.”
            I thought of that incident when I saw a commercial the other day which stated at the bottom, “Real people, not actors.”
            Ah!  So actors are not real people.  Yes, I imagine they too have been accosted in grocery stores the same way I was.  What are you doing here?  You don’t need to eat—you aren’t a real person.  Evidently, neither are preachers and their families.
            But don’t we do that to so many others too?  How about the waitress at your favorite café?  Do you even talk to her or do you treat her like furniture?  How about the cashier at the grocery store?  The bagboy?  The deli guy who slices your meat?  Have you ever thought to ask them how they are?  What would you do if you saw your doctor or your child’s teacher at a restaurant?  Would it be the same reaction I got so many years ago?
            Do you know the problem with this sort of behavior?  If they aren’t “real people,” then I don’t have to treat them like people.  Do you know why road rage occurs?  Because it isn’t a real person you are angry with, it’s a car. 
            When Desert Storm began and the news shows showed the airstrikes and dogfights on television, I was appalled.  One night at a church gathering, I came upon two of our teenagers watching two fighter planes on the host’s television.  When the enemy plane exploded, they cheered just like they would have for a touchdown.  I looked at them and said, “You do realize you just saw someone die, don’t you?”  They calmed right down and looked ashamed.  I hope it was real shame.
            As long as we view anyone as something other than a “person,” it becomes much easier to treat them badly.  I did some research and found that every time Jesus tells us how to behave toward our enemies he uses the pronouns “he” or “those.”  Never does he call them anything dehumanizing—like jerk, scum of the earth, dirtbag, or (insert your own personal favorite).  And when we resort to that name-calling we will never be able to treat our enemy—or just our inconsiderate neighbor—the way Jesus tells us to.  And how does he tells us to treat him?  Love him, pray for him, do good to him, bless him, lend to him, feed him, forgive him, give him whatever he asks for—your time, your place in line, your pew, even your driving lane.
            You can only do those things for Real People.
 
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Rom 12:16-21
 
Dene Ward