A look back at a difficult moment in my life, hoping this will help you in yours.

A few weeks ago, Satan finished what he started three years ago and stole my identity.  I have packed up the last of my teaching supplies: sheet music, collections, method books, assignment notebooks, theory books, technique books, concerti, history notebooks, listening labs, computer disk theory games, stickers, rhythm instruments, home made music bingo games, magic slates with grand staffs permanently imprinted on them, even my old textbook How to Teach Piano Successfully.  I have sent them on to a young piano teacher in Ohio, who is just starting out.

            I had a weepy moment or two.  This part of my life—35 years worth plus all those years learning--is definitely over now.  There is no going back; I simply cannot see the music any longer.  But I am happy to know that these things will be put to good use—that other little children will learn with them, and that a young preaching couple will have a bit more coming in to help out with a skimpy income.  But for a moment the large empty space under my piano made me feel invisible. 
            I am no longer the piano and voice teacher in Union County. 
            I no longer open my doors every afternoon to excited little faces, making sure that grubby little hands are washed before touching the keys, but still picking up every ailment my students brought my way, including parvo once, for goodness sake!  It must have been all the hugs. 
            I am no longer playing at weddings half a dozen times a year.  I am no longer meeting with my fellow teachers once or twice a month, serving as association officer or chairman of this committee or that. 
            I no longer take a dozen students to various competitions, crying with them for their losses and cheering for their wins.  I no longer spend hours on themed spring programs, gathering up suitable music, matching it to each student’s personality, then working out the details, including skits and grand finales. 
            I no longer present high school seniors in debut recitals with formals and tuxes, long-stemmed red roses, and a glittery reception afterward. 
            Satan has stolen all of that from me with this disease.
            It could have been a real problem for me.  I could have sunk into a depression difficult to come out of.  Then I remembered my real identity.
            Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us that we should be called the children of God; and we are, 1 John 3:1.
            Listen my beloved brethren did not God choose those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which he promised to those who love him? James 2:4.
            But you are an elect race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, that you may show forth the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light, 1 Pet 2:9.
            He has granted unto us precious and exceeding great promises, that through these you may become partakers of the divine nature, 2 Pet 1:4.
            The Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ, if so be that we suffer with him, that we may also be glorified with him, Rom 8:16,17.

            I still have my identity, and so do you.  It’s the one that counts, the one that Satan cannot steal, the one that will last forever.

Dene Ward

Our grandsons stayed with us for several days in late May.  We had a wonderful time, but it was a bit different than it has been in the past.  They are now old enough to take care of things we always had to do before, like bathe and dress them, feed them, help with brushing and flossing teeth, and keep an eye on them practically every minute.  Now they do all the personal hygiene and care for themselves.  They even remember their own medicine—which didn't keep me from checking to make sure it was taken.  We still spent a lot of one on one time with them, which is the point, isn't it?  Keith had a homemade slip and slide which required him running a hose continuously over a long piece of plastic on the slope between the two sheds, and I let them help me cook—cookies, waffles, and yeast rolls.  We played the prophets game, as you have already heard about.  And I was the official judge of the Construx car building contest.  (Kind of touchy, that one.)
            Still there were times that we had things that required our attention and they needed to keep themselves busy.  For one of those times I taught them solitaire.  Not the one on the Kindle or the computer, but the one using real cards.  They ate it up and played for literally hours one afternoon while I did the laundry and cooked dinner.  Once I was free again I sat down to see how they were doing.
            "Good," one said.  "We've been experimenting."
            A little careful questioning told me what kind of "experiments" they were doing.  You and I would call it "cheating."  When every third card left them stuck, they changed it to every second card, and finally every single card, in an attempt to keep the game going.  Another time instead of putting a red five on a black six at the "bottom" of a stack, they lifted the stack and put a red queen behind the black jack at the top.  They thought it worked a whole lot better that way because they won more often and got more enjoyment out of it.
            "You know you're not allowed to do that, right?"
            "You’re not?"
            "Nope.  It's against the rules."
            "Oh.  We didn't know that."
            After that, they cut out the "experimenting."  They understood the concept of "rules" and "cheating," and that whether you liked it better or not was not the issue.  The question is:  are you playing solitaire or are you making up a whole new game you like better?
            I know a few people who need that lesson.  They decide that they don't like the way we worship, or the way the church does its business, or the life a Christian is expected to live.  So they do some "experimenting" to find something they like better.  Somehow it never crosses their mind that God ought to have a say in this, that He ought to be able to decide how He wants to be worshipped, how His kingdom ought to run, and the way His servants ought to live.  Some of them may not have thought about that before, that God has the authority to tell us these things and expect us to conform to His rules.  In fact, I have even heard one brother denigrate the idea of authority at all, as if it were rules people made up instead of God.  I worry for that one.  There are too many illustrations in the Old Testament of how God reacted to people who were presumptuous enough to change His commands and do as they pleased.  God has not changed because we live under the New Covenant now.
            So let's set the record straight here.  God is the Supreme Authority.  All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to Jehovah. All the families of the nations will bow down before Him, for dominion belongs to the Lord and he rules over the nations (Psalm 22:27,28).
            When it comes to the kingdom, He has given that authority to His Son.  And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all (Eph 1:22-23). 
            Jesus gave his apostles authority to tell us how to live and worship.  And Jesus came and said to them, All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ​Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age (Matt 28:18-20).  That you should remember…the commandment of the Lord and Savior through your apostles (2Pet 3:2).
            You may not like the rules.  You may find other ways of doing things that you like better.  But authority is authority and it won't go away just because you want to "experiment."  My little guys understood that and they followed the rules the rest of their stay.  It actually made winning a lot more satisfying than changing the rules so they could win.  And that's only for a game.  Trying to change God's rules is no game.  Learn them, follow them, and then enjoy the win.
 
For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, Vengeance is mine; I will repay. And again, The Lord will judge his people. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Heb 10:26-31).
 
Dene Ward

Last winter we had a whole flock of turkeys come out of the woods to visit our property.  I assumed they would find their way to the bird feeders as a couple of lone turkeys had done a few years ago, but for some reason they did not.  We watched them strut down the fence line from the southwest one morning, then one by one hop/fly over the fence.  They headed straight for our fallow garden, but found precious little in the plowed ground, so they continued east toward the old pigpen where at least a few weeds might have offered them some dried seeds.  After about a half hour they started back again, just as slowly as before, did that one-hop/fly over the fence, and strutted back to the woods.
            A day or two later, I headed toward the firepit on the east side of the property, just fifteen feet or so this side of the eastern fence.  I never saw a thing until 13 turkeys suddenly flew out of the oak trees on the other side.  We are talking thirty pound birds up in the trees, big blobs of brown and I never saw them until they flew in a racket like a dozen sheets flapping on a clothesline in a stiff breeze.  How had I not seen those great big birds in winter-bare trees not a stone's throw away?  I'll tell you how—I never expected to see such a thing.  Turkeys avoid flying if they can at all for one thing, and I certainly never saw one that high up, not to mention thirteen of them!
            Which goes to show, I suppose, that we see what we expect to see, and miss what we don't expect.  Everyone does.  Jesus was certainly not the Messiah the Jews expected nor his kingdom either.  Even his apostles had trouble with that.  It can happen to us as well.  We don't see the real Jesus because society has painted such a prevalent picture of a weak, namby-pamby, accept-everyone-as-they-are picture of him.  I actually heard someone say recently, "Jesus never offended anyone."  Are they reading the same Bible I am?
            And he called to him the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: Not that which enters into the mouth defiles the man; but that which proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man. Then came the disciples, and said unto him, Know thou that the Pharisees were offended, when they heard this saying? But he answered and said, Every plant which my heavenly Father planted not, shall be rooted up. Let them alone: they are blind guides. And if the blind guide the blind, both shall fall into a pit (Matt 15:10-14).  And that is just one of many examples.  Jesus had no problem at all saying what needed to be said whether others liked it or not.
            Then I heard someone say, "Jesus will accept me the way I am."  Well, yes, at the beginning, but he expects change and commitment.  "Go your way and sin no more," he told the adulterous woman in John 8:11.  And what did he say to a few who wanted to follow him?  And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But he said unto him, Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but go thou and publish abroad the kingdom of God. And another also said, I will follow thee, Lord; but first suffer me to bid farewell to them that are at my house. But Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God (Luke 9:59-62).
            And do you realize that, "O ye of little faith," was always spoken to his disciples?  Not just interested people, but people who had left all to follow him.  Kind of drill-sergeant tough, don't you think?
            Do you know why we miss those things?  Because we don't expect to hear them from Jesus, and worse, we don't want to hear them.  When the crowds of disciples turned and left after the hard sermon in John 6, Jesus did not chase them down, saying, "Wait!  I didn't mean to be so harsh.  Come back and let me try again."  No, he turned to the Twelve and said, "Are you going to leave too?"
            I pray we all have the faith Peter did at that moment and can say even to a Jesus who is not always what everyone expects to see in the Scriptures, "To whom shall we go Lord?  You have the words of Eternal Life.  And we believe and know that you are the Holy One of God" John 6:66-69.
 
…blessed is the one who is not offended by me (Matt 11:6).
 
Dene Ward

Neither will I offer burnt offerings unto Jehovah my God which cost me nothing.

            2 Samuel 24 relates the numbering of the Israelites as commanded by David.  To make a long story short, this sin caused a pestilence sent from God as punishment.  God then told David to offer up a sin offering at a threshing floor owned by Araunah. 
            Aranauh saw the king’s entourage headed his way and went out to greet them, wondering what he could do for his king.  When David explained and asked to buy the property so he could offer the sacrifice, Araunah said, “Oh no, lord.  Everything is yours for the taking, including the oxen for the burnt offering.”
            Then David uttered those words above, “I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord which cost me nothing.”  It isn’t worship, David meant, when it isn’t mine to give.  It isn’t worship when it’s an extra I keep on the shelf for emergencies.  It isn’t worship if it isn’t something I need for myself.  Service to God should cost me something.
            I wonder what David would say were he alive today.  I bet I know some things he would not say.
            “We have a gospel meeting this week?  I’ll go if it’s convenient.”
            “The price of gas has gotten too steep to make that extra Bible study this week.”
            “That’s just too early for me to have to get up in the morning.”
            “It’s a song service tonight?  I don’t like to sing anyway.”
            “It’s on the way to my activity, so I can stop by the hospital for a quick visit, otherwise...”
            “My neighbor mentioned wanting to ask me about some problems he is having, and I wanted to watch that ball game.  Maybe tomorrow night.”
            It doesn’t have to be inconvenient to count as service; if it did, the most pious time to assemble would be 2:00 AM.  However, if convenient service is all we ever give, you wonder if it truly deserves that description, “service.”
            Did you ever offer assistance and have someone say, “Well, only if it isn’t any trouble?”  Have you said it yourself?  Don’t deny someone the right to “pay” for the offerings they give.  It is often trouble to help someone out—it’s supposed to be!  How much trouble they go to for someone else is a measure of their commitment to the Lord (Matt 25: 40).  The same standard is a measure of your commitment as well. 
            Since we do operate our assemblies on a system of expedients, it is too easy to think that everything should be convenient.  Surely God doesn’t really expect our service to Him to cost us time, money, or pleasures and recreation that are good and wholesome.  We may understand the concept of sacrificial giving on the first day of the week, but how much do we understand the concept of sacrificial giving every day of our lives?
            Because of all He has done for me, I should be willing and anxious to say, “I will not offer to the Lord that which costs me nothing.”
 
Wherefore, receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us have grace, whereby we may offer service well-pleasing to God with reverence and awe: for our God is a consuming fire. Heb 12:28,29.
 
Dene Ward

…Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's” Matt 22:21.
 
            I suppose nothing rankles so much as giving your hard-earned money to a government whose policies you disagree with, who often use that money for things you disapprove of as a Christian.  Guess what?  We are not the first to feel that way, and our government doesn’t come close to the one that governed the people Jesus and the apostles plainly told to pay.  Our government does not yet imprison us for our faith, nor does it throw us to the lions, crucify us, or burn us alive in an arena paid for by tax dollars.
            Paul makes it crystal clear when he says, For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed…Rom 13:6,7.  Some of those very people wound up paying for their own executions, so I doubt we have much excuse in not paying our taxes.
            This is what we miss when we start all the complaining.  In the very same passage Paul says, Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God…Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience, vv 1,5. 
            You would think that God’s wrath would have been reserved for that government that persecuted His people, but no, in this case, His wrath is on those who do not pay because He ordained that government.  Not to obey that earthly authority is to disobey His heavenly authority.  Paul even adds at the end of verse 7, [Pay] respect to whom respect is owed and honor to whom honor is owed.  That does not mean only those who deserve that respect and honor as individuals, it means those who are in a position of authority.  That position deserves the respect and honor no matter who fills it, because God put him there. 
            Peter says much the same thing:  Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good, 1 Pet 2:13,14.  We obey “for the Lord’s sake.”  So what would that make any civil disobedience on our part?  A slap in the face of God, that’s what.
            This is a lot more important than we like to think.  Subjection is the mark of a Christian.  Every one of us is subject to everyone else, and we all are in subjection in other areas of life.  Peter says that is why our subjection to the government is so important. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor, vv15-17.  When we act in any other way, when we disobey the laws of the land, when we cheat on our taxes, we are causing the world to laugh at the very notion of our subjection as servants to God, invalidating our faith as surely as if we had stood up and denied the Lord in front of them.
            Yes, it’s that time of year.  Maybe instead of complaining, we should thank God that we have a government that, though it certainly isn’t honoring God, isn’t murdering His children.  At least not yet.
 
…You shall not speak evil of a ruler of your people, Acts 23:5.
 
Dene Ward