A few years ago when Judah was about 2, we went down for a visit.  He had only become comfortable with me and Granddad the visit before and I did not know how much he would remember, whether it would take a "warm-up" period or not before that comfort would return.  Silas, who was 5, was occupied with his uncle and Mario Kart, and scarcely noticed when we walked in, but Judah came right up to me, grabbed my hand and said, "C'mon Grandma.  Let's go play."  My heart swelled so that it's a wonder it didn't pop right out of my chest.  We spent the rest of the afternoon playing with his toy cars and Granddad had to empty the car by himself.
            Let me ask you, if your toddler grandchild came up to you and grabbed your hand, asking you to come play with him, would you have done otherwise?  Especially since we were not sure how much he would remember us—we live over 2 hours away and only see them every 3 or 4 months—how in the world would I ever turn away from something that caused me such great joy?
            God felt that way about His children.  Notice these verses this morning:
            …Thus says the LORD, Israel is my firstborn son (Exod 4:22).
           …You have seen how the LORD your God carried you, as a man carries his son… (Deut 1:31).
           He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; he encircled him, he cared for him, he kept him as the apple of his eye. ​Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that flutters over its young, spreading out its wings, catching them, bearing them on its pinions, ​the LORD alone guided him…(Deut 32:10-12).
            When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. ​The more they were called, the more they went away; they kept sacrificing to the Baals and burning offerings to idols. Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms, but they did not know that I healed them. ​I led them with cords of kindness, with the bands of love, and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws, and I bent down to them and fed them (Hos 11:1-4).
            In that last passage we see just how much God loved His people.  Even when they had scorned him, disobeyed him, betrayed him, and forsaken him for idols, it hurt him to do what he had to do to punish them.  But punish them he did.
            We call God our Father today, and he loves us every bit as much as he loved them.  For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” (Rom 8:14-15).
            But just as those people had to show their love by their obedience, so do we.  What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, ​and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty” (2Cor 6:16-18).
            Did you notice the condition in that promise?  Just as this Grandma was thrilled to have that tiny hand in hers, to have that little child want to be with her, God wants that from us too.  But we must understand the conditions a whole lot better than those faithless children of old did.  As long as things went well, they had no place in their lives for him.  What kind of place does he have in ours? 
            God walks in the door every day of our lives.  How will we greet him?  Or do we even care if he came?
 
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot (1Pet 1:14-19).
 
Dene Ward
 

Do young men still use that line?
            I remember as I reached my teenage years being warned about it.  It was standard in lessons on resisting the temptation of premarital sex.  Of course I was too young and naive to understand it all, but finally someone gave me an answer to that line that made sense:  "If you loved me, you wouldn't ask me to go against my principles." 
            After I got married I learned a far more valuable truth about it all.  It takes more love to live together day after day after day than it does to sleep together.  Young people, look at your parents or even your grandparents.  Think of all the storms they have weathered in their lives together.  Think of the sacrifices they have made, not only for you, but for each other as well.  That is love.  Sex is not love.  Sex is one type of glue to make that more meaningful love continue, but by itself it is nothing but two people using each other for a momentary thrill.  Does that sound like love?
            And as for you married folks who have become enamored by someone besides the person you made a commitment to in the presence of God, you ought to be wise enough to know this by now.  If you decide to break that spiritual contract and make a new commitment, guess what?  You will still see him sweaty and unshaven at times.  You will still see her in cold cream and rollers.  He will still belch out loud while scratching what will eventually become a pot belly, and she will still wear a ratty old housecoat and go around the house without makeup.  He or she won't really be any better than the one you have now.  In fact, since that person probably broke a commitment like you did, you won't even have the luxury of ultimate trust in your relationship.
            Love is about real life, and real life is about giving and sacrificing and enduring, not glamor and excitement and no, not endless sex.  The wise ones have learned to see beauty in the beaming wrinkles and the soft extra rolls around the middle and excitement in the smiling droopy jowls and calloused but gentle hands.  If you never learn those things, you are to be pitied, not celebrated.  But you won't need to worry about the lines handed to you by a seducer.  Where true love lives, there are no lines, just warmth and compassion and an assurance that person will always be there, no matter what.
 
And this second thing you do. You cover the LORD's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless (Mal 2:13-16).
 
Dene Ward
 

I have a new tee shirt that I often wear this time of year.  It never fails to get at least one laugh.  In the front Santa is reading through his letters and he comes across one that says, "Dear Santa, Define Naughty."
            Of course the whole concept is based upon a past president who wanted certain words defined before he answered questions in an attempt to get out of a jam his own lusts had gotten him into.  While I hope everyone knows I do not approve of that sort of behavior at all, the humor in the shirt provides a quick and needed lesson this morning.
            And let me say, the lesson is needed as much, if not more, for my spiritual family as it is for the general population.  Too many times over the years I have had people ask me something similar.  It all boils down to the fact that we don't hate sin enough.  We try to get as close as possible without crossing a line we have defined in our minds as being the boundary marker to that sin.  Why in the world can't people see that the very attitude is sin?  We are supposed to hate sin and stay as far away as possible.  That is the mark of purity.  So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart (2Tim 2:22).  Did you catch that?  You flee from sin not sidle up to it to see if maybe you can participate just a little bit.
            God did not spell it all out.  He expected us to use common sense.  When he gives us the list of the works of the flesh in Galatians 5, he ends it, "and such things."  That means we should easily be able to see what is right and what is wrong.  We should stay away from "such things" just as we stay away from the spelled-out list.  "It's not on the list," becomes an invalid excuse for someone who truly desires to live a righteous life.
            So if you see me in my shirt this month, remember the point I am making today:  Sin is something you flee, something you abhor, something you wouldn't touch with the proverbial "ten foot pole."  If you sent God that letter, He wouldn't think it funny at all.
 
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God (Matt 5:8).
 
Dene Ward

I grew up with knickknacks around the house, with pretty centerpieces on the dining room table when we weren’t actually eating there, with paintings on the walls, and a coffee table adorned with crystal bowls, flower arrangements, and porcelain birds.  The first time I visited my in-laws I was almost shocked that I saw none of that anywhere.  Everything was strictly utilitarian.  Tables were for putting necessary items on and they were placed with the same thing in mind, whether the room looked balanced or not.  It’s not that my mother-in-law did not have a decorator’s eye; it was my father-in-law’s understanding of beauty.  If he asked the question, “What’s it good for?” and all you could say was, “To be pretty,” then it was useless in his eyes and did not deserve a place among his things.  It was simply “in the way” or "inconvenient."  Over the years I suppose she just gave up, though to be fair, if a thing wasn’t a necessity, they had little money for it anyway.
            Yet I think that beauty does have a use.  Why else would God have made blossoms of every size and color?  Why make a bird called a painted indigo, a whole patchwork of brightly colored feathers that thrills me every time he perches on my feeder?  Why would he have made vistas that take your breath away, the Grand Canyon, the rolling green and blue or snow-capped mountain ranges, the tropical rainforests where flowers and birds and even creeping things seem to grow both larger and more vibrantly colored than anywhere else in the world?  Why, in fact, would we classify color blindness as a disorder if seeing beautiful colors is useless?
            But God did make us able to see beauty and appreciate it.  Where do people want to go when they are tired and troubled?  A place of order instead of chaos, a place of beauty instead of ugliness.  Beauty can calm the soul or it can stir the heart.  It can inspire.  It can bring joy.  It can also teach.  Just as eating baby food gradually enables us to eat solid food, learning to appreciate outer beauty can eventually lead us to an understanding of true beauty.
            God told Moses, And you shall make holy garments for Aaron your brother, for glory and for beauty. Exod 28:2  It mattered to God that the garments of the men who served Him be beautiful.  It mattered to Him that they understand that outward beauty was representative of something truly beautiful—the sacred and the holy.  One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. Ps 27:4  Putting God’s priests in sackcloth would have been an affront to a beautiful God.
            And as we learn to appreciate the spiritual beauty of our God, so we must also learn to recognize the true beauty of people. 
            How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.” Isa 52:7  Feet must be the ugliest part of the human body, yet feet that take the gospel to others are “beautiful.”
            The glory of young men is their strength; And the beauty of old men is the hoary head. Prov 20:29  Gray hair is nothing to be ashamed of.  What it should represent is knowledge and wisdom, and the ability to help others along their path.
            Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you are like unto whited sepulchers, which outwardly appear beautiful, but inwardly are full of dead men's bones, and all uncleanness. Matt 23:27.  Inward beauty makes our service acceptable to God.
            When the Messiah came, few recognized him.  He did not look like the Savior they expected.  For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. Isa 53:2.  They had not learned the lessons of true beauty and missed out on the most beautiful thing of all, a Lord who sacrificed himself for our salvation.
            What are you missing in life?  A good marriage to a godly mate?  A church that teaches the truth of the Gospel?  Brethren who would love you more than family?  Have your learned to look beyond the outside and see the beauty within?  If not, then you have completely missed the lessons God has given us since He created this world and pronounced it “Very good.”  Beauty is useful, but only if you learn the lessons it teaches.
 
For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; he is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols, but the LORD made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and beauty are in his sanctuary. Ps 96:4-6
 
Dene Ward
 

One of the many offices I held in various music teacher organizations was as Chairman for the State Level vocal competition.  I not only had to procure the judges, I had to brief them as well.  At one of those briefing events one year, one of the three judges, a gentleman in his forties, asked me if I would say something to the young ladies.  As the students came forward to hand their music to the judges, they often had to bend over to lay it on the table and show the judges which song they were singing and point out any changes they were making, like cutting a long intro in the accompaniment, or not taking a repeat for time's sake.  "These young ladies," he said, "seem to have no idea what happens when they bend over and I must constantly avert my eyes to keep from seeing down their necklines.  I know it must look like I am not listening to what they are telling me, and I don't want them to think that."  So yes, I did take the young ladies aside that day and speak to them, asking each to make sure she placed her hand on her neckline when she bent over.  A couple of them looked at me like I was crazy.  A few others simply forgot—I'll give them the benefit of the doubt since it was probably something they had never done before.
            That little experience made me realize that while we have done an admirable job of telling them that bikinis and miniskirts are not appropriate wear for a modest Christian, this latest generation seems to have had absolutely no instruction about basic things, things my generation grew up doing almost instinctively.  As a teen, I fell down the stairs at the church house one Sunday and despite a badly hurt ankle, the first thing I did was pull my skirt down!  A friend of mine, in the midst of a heart attack, played tug-o-war with an ER nurse over her blouse!  That's what I mean about being so well-taught about these things that we didn't even have to think about it, even in the midst of an emergency.
            Could I possibly make a few suggestions to the parents out there?  Here are some areas in which we need to give a little more instruction to our young (and possibly older) women.
            1.  Necklines—First let me just reiterate the lesson above.  Every time you lean over, you should put your hand on your neckline so it won't gape open.  In some cases, I have seen all the way to a young woman's belly button!  This usually happens with vee necks and scoop necks.  Unless your neckline is right at your throat, a turtleneck, mock turtle, or crew collar, hold it shut!
            Second, I am seeing more and more cleavage on Christian women, young, middle-aged, and older.  In the "olden days" as my boys liked to call my childhood, the only women brazen enough to show cleavage were street walkers and movie actresses.  Please, ladies, you can easily sew a small triangle of cloth or even fancy lace across your neckline and avoid this.
            2.  Hemlines—I had so hoped we were past this, but it's coming "up" again.  Any length of bare leg is arousing to a man.  Be careful what you are doing to your brethren.  When a man has to look at a sea of shapely young legs as he passes the Lord's Supper, someone is being horribly inconsiderate to her brethren.
            Second, girls have gotten so out of practice at wearing skirts and dresses that they have forgotten the number one basic rule—keep your knees together!  If you aren't careful, any time you move in your seat, especially turning sideways, you are likely to let them come apart.  No one needs to know the color of your underwear.
            And third, when you cross your legs, you will often get a fly-away hem on the outside of each thigh that leaves you exposed nearly to the hip, and crossing your legs makes the skirt ride up much higher than you realize.  Crossing your legs also tightens the skirt across your knees leaving a little peekaboo triangle.  Please learn to hang on to the hem as you cross your legs and tuck anything in that flips out.  And if it makes the skirt ride a foot above your knees, maybe that's a skirt you should either stop wearing or stop crossing your legs in.
            3.  Armholes—Some tank tops and sleeveless shirts have armholes so large they show half the side of your body.  In addition, they leave a tunnel that anyone can see the light at the end of, even if they try not to.  Make sure the armholes on your sleeveless attire is tight to your skin and relatively small.
            4.  Walking—No, I am not talking about that purposeful hip-sashaying walk we all know about.  I don't really think I need to say anything about that.  But here is another area where our propensity to wear pants most of the time has left young ladies not realizing the basics.  Wearing pants means you are no longer constricted by hemlines around the legs.  That means you take longer strides than the women of my day.  On the few times that you do wear a skirt, if it is constricting at all, like a straight skirt, that longer step you have become accustomed to will first, pull it tight against your body and show not only the form of your hips and bottom, but also every line of your underwear; and second, that skirt will ride up, just like it does when you sit down as you try to take that longer step.  All you need to do is shorten your stride and that usually takes care of that problem.
            And one more thing about walking:  In a time when women become angry at being objectified by men in the worst possible way, why are they wearing spike heels five or six inches high?  Do you not know what that does to your walk and to the looks of your legs and hips?  There is a reason shoe companies produce these things and men like them.  Be aware of what fashion designers are trying to do to you!
            5.  Tightness—I hate to even have to write this on a public blog post.  I have noticed pants, and especially shorts, so tight, that you can actually see the outline of the genitals.  Surely, the problem with that is obvious.
            I know a woman who will not buy an item of apparel until she has looked at it in a mirror from every possible angle, with every possible movement, or had a friend watch her as she goes through the list in her head.  She is obsessed, some of you might think, and I guess she is—obsessed with keeping the way she presents herself to the world from putting the lie to, as the religious world likes to call it, her witness.  She is also concerned with causing her brother, or any man, to sin.  That sounds like Christian love to me, not obsession.  If you are sitting there thinking, "I can do as I please and it's their problem not mine," then maybe you should consider whether you love souls as a follower of Christ ought to.  Just as her Master gave up all, a Christian woman must give up a few things if she wears His name.  If a few items of clothing is all you have to give up, count yourself blessed.
 
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God...just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved (1Cor 10:31-33).
 
Dene Ward

My mother taught me when I was a teenager, that if you make the bed the minute you get out of it, it's done in 5 minutes and it was no big deal.  Marrying a man who thinks that making the bed is ridiculous got me out of that habit, but I still get it done eventually, and usually before the morning is half over.
            I've heard it from many:  why make the bed when you are just going to get back into it that night?  Well, for one thing, I like for things to look tidy and making a bed makes a bedroom 90% tidy all by itself.  For another, my bedroom is visible from our dining room table, which is usually where we are entertaining guests.  For another, when you leave it unmade, all those sheets that you put your face on all night long are open to catching whatever dust falls on them—and I have a dust mite allergy.           
            But as for that reason most people give, "why make it when you are just going to get back into it?"  Let's think about that for a few minutes.  Why wash your clothes when you are just going to wear them again?  Why wash the dishes when you are just going to eat off of them again?  In fact, why cook dinner when you are just going to get hungry again?  Doesn't work so well with all those things does it?
            What I am afraid of is that attitude will bleed off into something really important, like why try to overcome a temptation when you know you are just going to sin again?  I hope you can see that one really doesn't work.  Overcoming once will make it easier to overcome the next time, and then the next, and then the next, and someday you may find yourself sinning less often.  Isn't that what you are hoping for?  Not to mention, God always gives you a way out.  Try working your little argument on him after he has gone to all that trouble, and his Son has died in order to help you win those battles over Satan.
            No, it isn't a sin not to make your bed, not even if your mother said it was, but be careful with the arguments you use for the simple things.  Don't let it affect the things that really do matter.
 
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world— our faith (1John 5:4).
 
Dene Ward

Masquerade balls have a varied and grisly history, depending upon which historian you believe.  Some say they were invented by the Venetian upper classes in the sixteenth century during Carnival season as a way to let loose without getting into trouble.  Others say they began in the fourteenth century in France when whole villages celebrated an important event, often a welcome of some high dignitary into their town.  Crimes were sometimes committed amid the anonymity, as well as immorality of all sorts, especially drunkenness, gluttony and lust.  The English took them up in the eighteenth century, though some considered them outings for “The Man of Taste.”  Then the Swedes discovered them, but on the night of March 16, 1792, King Gustav III was attacked at his own masquerade ball by a disgruntled nobleman.  He died two weeks later on March 29, and due to an informant among the cabal, so did the murderer’s anonymity.
            God’s people would never try to hide their sins would they?  The people of God have always understood that as God, He knew everything they did, even the things done “in secret,” right?
            At that time Abijah the son of Jeroboam fell sick. And Jeroboam said to his wife, “Arise, and disguise yourself, that it not be known that you are the wife of Jeroboam, and go to Shiloh. Behold, Ahijah the prophet is there, who said of me that I should be king over this people. Take with you ten loaves, some cakes, and a jar of honey, and go to him. He will tell you what shall happen to the child,” 1Kgs 14:1-3.
            Consider the foolishness of this situation.  Jeroboam believes this man is a prophet of God, yet he thinks he can trick him, first by sending someone instead of going himself, and second by disguising that someone.  If God can do what Jeroboam believes He can, then how will He be fooled by a disguise?
            This isn’t the only instance recorded in the scriptures.  Ananias and Sapphira come quickly to mind.  But in my lifetime, I’ve seen Christians do the same thing again and again, and sadly, sometimes I have fallen into this trap too. 
            Usually it’s the obvious—Sunday morning Christians who seem to think that God does not know what goes on the rest of the week, as if He is bound by the meetinghouse doors.
            But there are a few more complex ways of disguising ourselves.  Some of us do the right things, but without the heart, or with entirely the wrong heart.  As long as God sees me take the Lord’s Supper every Sunday or attend whenever the doors are opened, it doesn’t matter that I hate every minute of it.   As long as I give, it doesn’t really matter if I do it grudgingly or not.  As long as I shake everyone’s hand, it doesn’t matter if I hate the very sight of them.  Really?
            But then there are those who raise their hands and shout hallelujah, who “give God the glory” every other sentence and hug everyone in sight, but who are quick to find an excuse for not doing exactly what God says He wants.  “It’s such a little thing…”  “God wouldn’t mind…”  “But God knows my heart.”  Yep.  He knows it’s a heart of self will that only pretends to love and worship Him as long as it gets things its way.
            Hypocrisy, legalism, ritualism, emotionalism—God wants none of these disguises.  He wants people who love Him and serve Him the way He wants to be served, because He is the great and glorious God who sees all we do and knows our hearts, and He alone deserves it.  God has never gone for masquerades.
 
The LORD looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man; from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds, Ps 33:13-15.
 
Dene Ward