• Dene's Blog
  • About Dene
  • Contact Dene
  • Dene's Recipes
  • Dene's Books
  • Dene's Classbooks
  • Gallery
  • Recommended Sites
  • FAQ & Tutorial
  Flight Paths

The Modern Wedding Gown—the Demise of Tradition—and Modesty

7/6/2018

2 Comments

 
Up until the wedding of Queen Victoria on February 10, 1840, wedding gowns were made of colored materials, and usually of a design that could be worn again.  Most of the time, in fact, her wedding dress was the best dress the bride already owned.  Very few had the money for a one-and-done dress, let alone one a couple hundred times the cost of an average dress. 

              Queen Victoria started the tradition of white gowns (even though the actual gown is more of a pinkish ivory), and though the traditional meaning of a white gown was not yet set, we all know what it has come to mean over the years.  When a woman of questionable morals wears white, you can hear from all corners, "You mean she's wearing white?!"  A white wedding gown in the twentieth century celebrated a pure virgin presenting herself to the man who would be her one and only lover for life. 

            God certainly didn't have white wedding gowns in mind, but the sentiment is exactly what He had in mind when he ordained marriage.  The symbolism of marriage is one He also used for His people, both Israel and the church.  For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. (2Cor 11:2)

              One would think that a pure young woman would wear a dress that suited that purity.  But only a few days ago I saw an article about wedding gowns with this statement:  "It's time we moved beyond the self-righteous[ness of a virgin bride]…societal attitudes have evolved and relaxed."  (Laurie Brookins, youbeauty). 

              I take issue with the idea that a young woman protecting her virginity until marriage means she is self-righteous, but let's stick with the second half of that statement today.  Societal attitudes may have relaxed, but not God's. 

            For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. (1Thess 4:3-8). 

           When I give myself to another man, I have defrauded my future husband, even if I do not know who he is at that moment, and worse, I have lost the holiness and purity that God expects of his children, male and female.  Keeping one's physical virginity is a large part of keeping one's spiritual virginity, especially in a culture saturated with sex.

              So why, when a young bride is escorted down the aisle, especially on the arm of her father, would that father countenance (and pay an exorbitant price for) a dress that leaves her half naked from the shoulders to the waistline, front and back?  Instead of celebrating a young couple who have kept themselves pure for one another, we have let those relaxed societal attitudes invade our own thinking.  Who says that a bridal gown should not be about sexual purity?  Fashion designers, that's who, not godly men and women, and certainly not God.  Any dress that any Christian wears should be about sexual purity!

              This has been going on for two or three decades now.  My daughter-in-law of 16 years had to search long and hard for a modest—virginal—wedding gown.  Another young bride I know finally settled for one that had a cape to go around her shoulders because the only choices showed far too much skin, but good for her for finding a solution instead of giving in.

              Consider these passages:
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel and said to the servant, “Who is that man, walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself. (Gen 24:64-65)

I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. (Ezek 16:10)

I will greatly rejoice in the LORD; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful
headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
(Isa 61:10)

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; ​it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. (Rev 19:7-8)

             Yes, I realize that most of those passages are talking about spiritual marriage between God and His people, but there has to be some basis in fact for the symbolism to stand.  Notice that in all of them, the bride is being covered, not uncovered.  In weddings of Bible times the bride was richly clothed and completely covered with a veil.  In fact, Ezek 23, one of the most graphic chapters in the Bible, tells why God is giving up on his betrothed virgin, Israel—she is no longer a virgin, no longer pure; she has "flaunted her nakedness" so that God "turned in disgust from her" (Ezek 23:18).

              We must stop allowing society to determine our standards of modesty.  We must train our daughters to dream about bridal gowns that convey their purity and innocence as they approach their chosen mate, not about keeping up with the latest fashion craze.  And we must train our sons to be strong fathers who will take a stand about what their daughters will and will not wear. 

              God doesn't really care if your dress is white, but he does care if your soul is, and He most certainly cares how you dress the physical body he gave you—dress that will show  the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. (1Pet 3:4)
 
Dene Ward
2 Comments
Charlene Warren
7/8/2018 02:02:56 pm

I have been feeling these exact tho'ts for years!

Reply
Dene
7/8/2018 02:21:07 pm

Thank you for the back-up Charlene. I was wondering if I was the only one.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Author
    Dene Ward has taught the Bible for more than  forty years, spoken at women’s retreats and lectureships, and has written both devotional books and class materials. She lives in Lake Butler, Florida, with her husband Keith.


    Categories

    All
    A Wives Series
    Bible People
    Bible Study
    Birds & Animals
    Book Reviews
    Camping
    Children
    Cooking Kitchen
    Country Life
    Discipleship
    Everyday Living
    Faith
    Family
    Gardening
    Grace
    Guest Writer
    History
    Holiness
    Humility Unity
    Materialism
    Medical
    Music
    Prayer
    Psalms
    Salvation
    Trials

    Archives

    June 2025
    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly