• Dene's Blog
  • About Dene
  • Contact Dene
  • Dene's Recipes
  • Dene's Books
  • Dene's Classbooks
  • Gallery
  • Recommended Sites
  • FAQ & Tutorial
  Flight Paths

Spots before My Eyes

5/20/2014

0 Comments

 
          When people start doing things to your eyes, taking things out and putting things in, cutting into them, pouring chemicals into them, you start seeing strange things.

            A week after one of the operations I had at the Cincinnati Eye Institute I started seeing gold circles as thin as thread right in front of me.  At first I thought I was going through some sort of spider web, although I had never seen a golden one to be sure, but I started waving my hand in front of my face trying to brush it away right in the hotel lobby.  When I looked up, the girl behind the front desk was watching me over her glasses, her eyebrows trying to crawl into her hairline.  She managed to put on her professional face then and check us out. 

            Even now I sometimes see sparkling lights in dark corners, and furtive movements on the periphery of my vision.  I was sitting in the assembly one Sunday when I was positive I saw rats running along the housing for the indirect lighting on the walls near the ceiling.  After I had similar experiences seeing things in the blinds by my chair and out the window next to the dining table, I finally realized it was just another visual anomaly resulting from all the surgery and other treatments I have endured lately.

            But the more frightening problem is the black spot—a “pressure phenomenon,” as one resident calls it.  When I see it, I know the pressure is up.  Some days it is bigger than others, also a bad sign.  The pinprick-sized spot becomes a nail hole, or even a bolt hole.  The first time I saw it, I thought it was a gnat, and I went around all day trying to shoo it away.  Finally it dawned on me that this gnat was always in the same place.  I bet I looked pretty funny those few hours before I figured it out.

            I wish that spot would go away.  On days when it does, I feel a lot better both physically and mentally.  Weariness and stress seem to be the worst aggravators of the problem.  It reminds me of Lady Macbeth, who succumbed to such guilt over prodding her husband to murder the king that she saw a spot of blood on her hands, and no matter how many times she wiped them, it would not come off.  “Who would have thought an old man could bleed so much?” she asks during her famous speech about “the spot.”

            We have a spot too—one that will not go away, no matter how many times we wipe it, no matter how many times we wash our hands before the world as Pilate did, no matter how strong the soap we use.. 

            Nowadays, mental health experts recognize the signs of guilt and the problems it causes.  Their solution is to deny the existence of sin and therefore, remove guilt altogether.  Now that’s handy, isn’t it?  All I need to do to avoid feeling bad about doing wrong is believe that it is right.  So who gets to decide what is right?  What if I don’t like your version of sins, especially if it makes your sins legal and mine illegal?  Only One is qualified to decide what is right and what is wrong.

            And, coincidentally, only one thing will make that guilt go away, and only one person can do it for us.  In fact, He requires it of anyone who wants to follow Him.  No matter how many times we tell ourselves that wrong is actually right, if we don’t let Him rid us of the spot of sin, the guilt will eat us alive just as it did that fictional Lady. 

            Get rid of the spot while you still can.  There will come a time when the offer is rescinded.

 Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for it, that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself glorious, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish, Eph 5:25-27.

Dene Ward
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Author
    Dene Ward has taught the Bible for more than  forty years, spoken at women’s retreats and lectureships, and has written both devotional books and class materials. She lives in Lake Butler, Florida, with her husband Keith.


    Categories

    All
    A Wives Series
    Bible People
    Bible Study
    Birds & Animals
    Book Reviews
    Camping
    Children
    Cooking Kitchen
    Country Life
    Discipleship
    Everyday Living
    Faith
    Family
    Gardening
    Grace
    Guest Writer
    History
    Holiness
    Humility Unity
    Materialism
    Medical
    Music
    Prayer
    Psalms
    Salvation
    Trials

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly