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  Flight Paths

Good Managers of the Home

4/1/2020

12 Comments

 
So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. (1Tim 5:14).
 
              With so many of us confined to home these days, now might be the perfect time to discuss what it means to "manage" the home.  I fear we have let the world tell us that being an organized, hardworking, guardian/teacher of one's home and children isn't anything to be proud of—we must have something "fulfilling" to do with our lives.  One of the ways we perpetuate the myth of a soap opera addicted, bonbon munching idler is by a slapdash effort and constant complaining about the tedium of it all, finding every excuse to sleep late and post on Facebook forty times a day.  Let's see what we can do to change that. 
              When we become stay-at-home moms, and later, stay-at-home workers/servants in the kingdom, our husbands are treating us as managers of the shop, so to speak.  He leaves every day to work in another venue and expects that the home and family he has entrusted into our care will be run economically—within the living he brings home—and efficiently.  It is up to us to know who needs to be where and when and get them there—doctor's appointments, school functions, recitals, etc.—in clean, appropriate clothing.  It is up to us to keep track of the supplies everyone in the house depends on—toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper (a little tricky these days), ibuprofen, bandaids, etc.  And it is up to us to fill those needs as thriftily as possible. 
             We are now in a time when jobs have disappeared or hours been cut, when some groceries have become hard-to-find, and prices accordingly higher.  How we manage the home matters more than ever before—at least more than it ever has for most young people.  They never had a Great Depression to learn in.  I hope this post today will help you out, and you won't mind it being a bit long—or a lot long, actually.
              I am sure most of these things have been listed elsewhere on the internet.  You can probably find more exhaustive lists, and other ideas of accomplishing the same things.  These suggestions—and that's all they are—are just to help you begin thinking on your own, to supply a little inspiration as you deal with your own family's particular needs.  We have been through several personal economic depressions, and this is how we got through them.
              As the manager of my home, I spend a good two hours every week going through sales flyers, cutting coupons (sometimes digitally these days), planning menus based on those sales, and making a shopping list.  As for coupons, I do not buy anything I won't eventually need.  I prefer to use a coupon when something is on sale so I get a double whammy.  I go to town ONCE, so as not to waste gas, and get everything done in one day.  I used to do that with babies in tow, too.  I keep my lists on one of those postage paid envelopes people are always sending you in the junk mail, with the appropriate coupons inside, along with things like dry cleaners receipts and bank deposit slips.  As I make every stop, any new receipt goes inside the envelope so everything is together when I get it home.
              As for cost saving tricks, do not think in terms of disposables any more than you can help it.  One bottle of dish detergent will wash a hundred times more plates, cups, and bowls for the money than the same dollar amount will buy paper goods. I am sure the same is true of dishwasher soap, but I don't have a dishwasher.
          Save plastic bags, especially freezer bags which are thicker and tougher.  Wash them out and dry them, which usually means to hang them somewhere.  (Sometimes my kitchen looks like a laundry room.)  Fabric softener sheets can be used more than once, in fact, until they get flimsy and crumpled. 
           Take all those singleton socks that have been bereaved of their mates by the sock-eating washer, slip them on your hand and dust to your heart's content.  Then throw that one in the washer.  Who knows?  It might even find its missing mate that way, or join it in the great Sock Beyond. 
           You know that bottle that says, "Shampoo.  Rinse, and Repeat?"  You don't have to repeat!  Just make sure your hair is really wet the first time and you will have plenty of lather to wash it with.  Especially if you are one of those people who wash their hair nearly every time they shower, you do not need to repeat.  It's just a waste of shampoo.  But I am sure these are things you have heard again and again as thrifty homemakers have been doing them for decades.
              Now to practice a little self-discipline.  When you have been able to buy whatever you want for most of your life, it may come as a shock that you can't do that any longer.  But here is your new rule:  if you can't afford it, you can't have it.  Sometimes credit cards make us think otherwise.  Learn this now.  If you no longer have the money, you have to stop the buying one way or the other.  For some people it takes cutting up the credit card to get the point.  Do what you need to do.
             Tap water will hydrate you.  That's all we had when we were kids.  None of us died.  Get rid of the sodas.  Period.  Eventually, we reached the salary point that my boys could have Kool-Aid.  I did not have the luxury of avoiding sugar—the alternatives, like fruit juices, were simply too expensive.  When my mother was growing up during the Depression, even sweet tea was for Sundays only.  Every other day of the week, the family had tap water with their meals.  She lived to be 91, and her mother 97.  See?  It won't kill you!
              Get rid of the snacks.  All mine had were homemade cookies, which were a fraction of the cost of Chips Ahoy or Oreos, and the boys thought they were better off than their friends.  This, and some of what I add below, may mean your family needs a major attitude adjustment.  I remember my mother telling me how Daddy turned up his nose and complained when she put oleo on the table.  He made $30 a week and she had a $10/wk. grocery budget.  She took him shopping with her.  When he saw the price of real butter, he changed his tune.  Sometimes you have to make do, and the Lord expects us to be grateful for the fact that we have what we need to survive.  He will NOT be happy with the ungrateful who demand luxuries.
              We might very well have to change our minds about what we will and won't eat.  Organic, cage-free eggs cost over twice as much as regular eggs.  If you don't have celiac disease, you might want to forego your gluten-free diet.  Those things are always far more expensive than the usual varieties.  It costs extra money for most of these fad diets. 
              Save oil you have fried in, and all bacon grease.  (If you are a true Southerner, that last should go without saying.)  I actually had a small stovetop percolator for years into which I poured used oil.  The grounds basket sieved out the impurities and pieces of leftover fried food, and all it takes is a tablespoon or so of fresh oil to refresh the used.  I have had the same old coffee can, back when you could still get metal ones, for bacon grease that I had when the boys were growing up.  What do I use the drippings for?  Seasoning Southern vegetables, greasing a biscuit pan, making cornbread, frying eggs or potatoes, or anything else that might benefit from bacon flavor.
             If you use a lot of canned goods (vegetables, I mean) keep any drained off liquid in a glass jar in the fridge to use as broth when you make soup.  Just add to it all week.  I usually made soup at least once a week because I always had a good quart of makeshift broth by then.  Potato soup, French onion soup, tomato soup, root vegetable bisque, plain old vegetable soup—none of these contain meat and all are made with relatively inexpensive items.
            There are any number of meatless meals, or meals where the meat can be skimped on.  Usually these meals are heavy on the starch (carbs), but that's what fills people up.  You yourself may need to cut back (diabetics, for example), but if you have teenage boys as I did, you will want to keep them satisfied and starch does the trick.  Beans and rice are the ultimate example.  Red beans and rice, black beans and rice—same dish, different spices and seasoning.  True Cuban black beans and rice contains no meat whatsoever.  If your recipe does for either of those dishes, cut the amount in half, or consider using a bone.  (Save all of your bones, by the way to make stock or to season soups and vegetables.)  And cut the meat into smaller pieces so more mouthfuls will have meat in them.  Then there are pinto beans and cornbread, Great Northern beans and cornbread, dried baby limas and cornbread, and on and on we go.  Lentil soup is basically a bean dish.  Pasta fagioli is an Italian soup with very little but white beans and pasta in it, and it is delicious.
             Eggs are another standby.  You can make omelets with whatever bits and pieces of leftovers you have—a few ham cubes, a shred or two of cheese, some chopped peppers and onions, etc.  Do not throw any bits and pieces of anything away! 
             Pasta with Eggs and Cheese is quick, easy, and cheap.  Boil a pound of spaghetti in heavily salted water.  Beat together three eggs and 2/3 cup of shredded Pecorino Romano or Parmagiana Reggianno cheese (pecorino is cheaper).  Drain the spaghetti and while it is still hot, pour the eggs and cheese over it and toss constantly, allowing the heat of the pasta to cook the eggs, until every strand is coated with cooked egg and melted cheese.  If you want it creamier, add ¼-1/2 cup of the pasta water (or milk if you want to splurge).  Some people add a couple tablespoons of butter, but we never did and it was just fine.
            Pancakes and waffles will also fill the bill—cheap and satisfying.  Biscuits and gravy are a favorite for many.  We couldn't afford the sausage, but even cream gravy made with milk, flour, and plenty of bacon grease was wonderful over hot biscuits.  When I was a child, my mother would sometimes make a huge pan of biscuits and then pull out everything she could find in the fridge and pantry to go on them—butter, jam, preserves, peanut butter, honey, maple syrup.  We kids loved it.  We had no idea that the money had run out that week—we thought it was a treat!
               I never pay full price for meat, but always buy it on sale, plus one thing extra to freeze.  As the weeks go by, you will find yourself needing to buy less meat at the time.  A couple of paragraphs ago I talked about cutting the meat in half for your bean dishes.  Do it for everything.  For chicken breasts, lay your hand on top of the breast, and cut horizontally beneath your hand.  Every breast will make two servings, and your eye will be fooled into thinking it is a whole breast.  Do the same with boneless pork chops.  If they have been frozen, do the slicing while they are still a little firm in the center and it will be easier to control the knife and keep the slice even. 
             Then there is the tale of the three night whole chicken, something I did again and again so long ago a chicken could be found for 19 cents a pound, and even then it was almost more than we could afford.
              Take the breasts and do the trick above, cutting them in half horizontally.  That is your splurge meal, assuming there are no more than four in your family.  Bread and fry, or oven fry, or grill, or use in any other recipe, including something a little nicer, like Chicken Milanese.  The second night use the thighs and drumsticks for a potpie or other chicken casserole your family likes.  Double up on any vegetables or starch the recipe contains.  Who knows?  That one might even last you two nights if you do it right. 
              On the last night, use the back and wings to make the broth for chicken and dumplings.  In the Deep South and parts of Appalachia, our dumplings are called "slicks" or "slickers."  A dough of flour, eggs, butter, salt, and some of the broth is rolled out flat on a heavily floured board and cut into strips about two inches long.  Because of the eggs in them, when they are boiled, they become fairly thick and all that flour you rolled them in will help thicken the broth, especially if you have cooled and then reheated them.  What you will have is more like dumplings and chicken rather than chicken and dumplings, but that's the point here—how to get by on a shoestring budget.  Chicken and rice is another good option.  Just use the same philosophy—less meat, lots of starch. 
              This is how the world survived during the Depression and we can do the same.  I am sure this is far more information than you actually need.  You are smart enough to see the pattern and implement it in ways that meet your families' needs and tastes. 
             We have much to be grateful for.  This is a time to learn some lessons our culture has sorely needed to revisit for a few decades now.  We will get through this because our God is in control, and He expects us to be good stewards of the blessings He has showered upon us.
 
Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.  (1Cor 4:2).
 
Dene Ward
12 Comments
Bonnie
4/1/2020 08:47:09 am

Thank you so much for this post. While going through tough times I found it very useful to sit down and make a budget and stick to it. Do not let your wants rule over you needs.

Reply
Dene
4/1/2020 08:54:59 am

You hit the nail on the head Bonnie. Thanks for the addition.

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Lori Biesecker link
4/1/2020 11:04:05 am

Random:
--Reducing the number of shopping trips saves money, and especially now it may even save lives. Make a meal plan and grocery list the day before you go to the stores. Re menu planning for more than a week: plan the perishable ingredients' use in the first several days and have pantry meals later. Example: I just got back from a shopping trip for items to last for two weeks. Tonight we are having soup made with sausage, cannellini beans, and fresh spinach and other fresh vegetables. In a little less than two weeks, the meals will contain frozen vegetables, long-keeping protein like kielbasa, and canned tomatoes.
--Depending on finances, you can design a kind of rotating menu with different themes, which can make it easy to plan and still take advantage of store specials, seasonal opportunities, and keep things interesting. If you can afford it, plan one "nice" meal per week -- Sunday lunch or maybe an evening when everyone is reliably home and together -- beef chuck roast or roasted chicken or something grilled. Then have Meatless Monday, Taco Tuesday, What-Needs-Eating-Up-Wednesday, Breakfast-for-Dinner Thursday, Fun Friday, and Soup/Stew/Salad Saturday. Or make up your own names, or just know that a legume night, a breakfast night, a pasta night, a soup night, etc. will help to stretch the budget.
--If things are REALLY tight, sit down and research what are the very cheapest yet healthy ingredients available to you, and brainstorm all the ways you can prepare them. For example, when it comes to fresh produce, you will probably do best to limit yourself to onions, carrots, potatoes, apples, and sometimes bananas. In some parts of the country leafy greens are inexpensive, and those are very nutritious. Seasonally, you may find great prices on local produce to augment your usual items, or maybe you can plant a garden, which is a boon to your budget! For protein, learn to love and use dried legumes of all kinds. Learn the different cultures that cook them and how they do it. If you can afford to buy one spice every week or two, you can build up an arsenal that will make all of your bean dishes so unique and interesting. Try to find a place where you can buy bulk spices, so you can try just a little to see if your family enjoys it. Consider meat a condiment only for most days. Build flavor with onion-family vegetables, spices/herbs/,and judicious amounts of fats.
--Learn to make something that is loved by the whole family but is cheap and filling. Dene's mother's biscuits is a terrific example. Homemade yeast bread is another idea.
--Teach your family what a serving looks like, especially of "dear" foods like butter, cheese, jam, syrup, etc.
--You may need to control the consumption of food to a degree. Maybe there are certain things your family can eat all they want of, and others they need to ask first or they are only for certain meals. For example, have all the oatmeal you want, but only take one piece of bacon.
--Present food in ways that make it seem like more: Slice an apple into thin wedges for two or three children to share as a snack. Pile a platter with rice and then spoon the mostly-veggie stir-fry on top -- the rice makes it seem bountiful and no-one will realize how little of whatever is more costly they are having. Sometimes, serve the meal in courses: serve little dishes of carrottes rapées (grated carrot mixed with a simple homemade vinaigrette, which is only a little vinegar, double that amt. of oil, salt, pepper, and maybe a small squirt of mustard whisked together) to start the meal, followed by beans over rice, followed by a plate of apple slices for dessert. It makes the meal last longer, feel a little fancy, and is still super budget-friendly.

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Dene
4/1/2020 11:19:47 am

Thanks so much Lori. This is great!

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Donna Craig
5/8/2020 06:36:57 pm

Lori, I love the names you gave your meals for each day of the week! While narrowing down choices which make menu planning easier, they still leave each day open for a lot of variety. I know people who have categorized their meals by day, but they are pretty specific. I like your idea much better. Thank you for the idea!

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Lori S. Biesecker link
4/1/2020 11:31:18 am

More Random:
--Make it a research project to learn the peasant dishes of various cultures. Poor people everywhere learn how to stretch their ingredients and still nourish their families. Of course what is a cheap food in a tropical culture may be a very expensive and rare ingredient in Maine, so you have to be sensible about what you attempt, but there are African, Asian, Indian, Latin American, and Eastern European dishes, particularly, that are interesting and delicious and inexpensive to make with readily available ingredients.
--About shopping: some of these opinions are a little contradictory. On one hand, being willing to go to a variety of stores can save money, especially if you get comfortable in asian and Latin American shops. Couponing and sales-flyer use can save money. BUT, I have found that for my family I save the most when I buy all I can at Aldi (Lidle is similar), and then go to a mainstream grocery for items they don't carry. The key is that I really worked to learn what Aldi carries and made it a project to come up with menus that use their items as much as possible. I find it saves me a lot of time that I used to spend figuring out coupons, and we use fewer processed foods.
--Also somewhat contradictory to what i said in the first comment, sometimes a big hunk o' meat can be frugal. Dene's chicken story is called Rubber Chicken at our house, and this is how he bounces through the week: First meal is roasted chicken (or maybe a rotisserie version from Sam's Club). I make everybody save their bones (pull the meat off with fingers versus tearing it off with teeth). Any pieces not eaten get deboned. That extra meat gets put into a casserole or used in a main dish salad or similar for the second meal. The leftover carcass/bones/skin gets simmered for stock, which is used for soup or dumplings for meal #3.
--In fact, if you have a warehouse club membership (fuel savings pays for ours -- husband has a long commute), those rotisserie chickens are a DEAL. The meat is much cheaper per pound than any lunch meat. We used them for sandwiches, in salads, in casseroles, soups, etc. I always simmer the carcass for stock (and if I have any leftover stock from the week before, that gets used in place of some water, so it just gets richer and richer as weeks go by -- a kind of perpetual stock).
--Another hunk o' meat frugality trick: pork shoulder (sometimes called "butt" or "Boston butt") is a fabulous meat deal, especially to feed a crowd. Dry rub it for southern-style barbecue pulled pork (cook 12 hours, covered, in oven at 275); season with garlic, rosemary, thyme, red pepper flakes, and fennel seed if you have it for Italian porcini-style and serve w/ big pasta salad; or dry rub it with Mexican seasonings for Carnitas-style pork tacos. Leftovers of all three styles will not go to waste. I use the barbecue pork in a kind of riff of Brunswick stew with lots of veggies, the Italian pork makes a fantastic meaty pasta sauce when chopped up and added to homemade marinara, and the Mexican pork usually gets turned into a casserole with leftover Mexican-style rice, maybe some black or pinto beans, and whatever bits and bobs we have in the fridge. Or, we added it to white chili in place of chicken. Or, use it for main-dish nachos. Or, or, or... Chuck roast can be treated similarly. Cook a big one or two medium ones and have one traditional roast meal w/ potatoes, carrots, etc. Second meal is hot beef sandwiches. Third meal is pasta with bits of roast stirred into the sauce or Shepherd's Pie made with plenty of veggies and topped with leftover mashed potatoes. That $15 piece of meat can make three or four meals, which brings the cost down considerably. We just have to control portions the first night (I often wrap the "leftovers" and chill before the first meal has even been served!) and make sure to use the leftovers wisely.

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Lori Biesecker link
4/1/2020 11:36:34 am

Last, and probably most controversial:
I think the best thing you can do for your grocery budget, and more importantly for your children's whole lives, is to decide that you will not have picky children. Just don't allow it, or if you have allowed it, you and your husband talk about it and if he agrees, talk to the kids, apologize for how you have mistreated them by not training them to be grateful, and explain how life is going to go from now on. It makes me sad and sick to see in some food-related facebook groups I am in how a lady will beg for help to plan meals for the week on $25, but then for every suggestion she says her kids won't eat that. Actually, it kind of makes me mad. Here is reality: We can't always get what we want. In fact, it's not very good for us to always get what we want. It is a gift to be a child or adult who can be invited into someone's home for a meal or taken to a restaurant as part of a job interview process and not to have to fear what might be served because there is such a long list of foods we dislike. Give that gift to your children. Teach them about how real life works. Stepping off soapbox now...

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Dene
4/1/2020 12:00:16 pm

Thank you for stepping up on it.

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Donna Craig
4/1/2020 01:24:57 pm

Yes, thank you! Our mother (I'm Dene's sister) used to say that she was not running a restaurant; you ate what was put in front of you. My children always had to try everything I made. "I don't like that," or "Yuck," were not allowed at the table when my kids were growing up. Either one could end up being excused from the table and sent to one's room. Once our children had eaten their three trial bites, if they maintained that they still didn't like the food, they did not have to finish it. But each trial was only for that meal. The next time I served it, they had to try it again. It is amazing the things that my pickiest of eaters will eat now.

One thing that might help with picky eaters is to roast the vegetables. Just toss with a little oil, maybe some seasoning, and lay out on a baking sheet. Roast in the oven, usually anywhere from 400 to 450 degrees and cook until done. Roasting vegetables brings out a better, "cleaner" taste. One of my daughters doesn't like carrots cooked on the stovetop, but roasted ones she loves.

Donna Craig
4/1/2020 01:18:45 pm

Thank you for these good tips. Since I've had to completely redesign my menus to accommodate my digestive disorder, I'm still working on inexpensive ways to feed my family. I do know that it is too much trouble and much more expensive to make two different meals, one for me and one for them, to serve at the same time. But I have a few tips. But first, a friend in childcare shared with me that you can mix a tablespoon of bleach with a gallon of water, put it in a spray bottle and spray items to be sanitized with it. Let it dry, no need to rinse unless it's something that will be put into the mouth, such as a child's toy. If you need to rinse it, let it sit for at least 2 minutes first. This is a lot less expensive than antibacterial spray. Just remember that it will take out color on fabrics. Bleach also evaporates so the mixture has to be refreshed every day.

I have to be careful about the use of fats because of a digestive issue--otherwise I am all for saving the fat and using it to flavor dishes. I use Goya Ham Flavoring to season dried beans and soups. Where I am I can purchase a box of 8 envelopes for a little less than $2. It works quite well and does not cause me digestive issues.

If you can get tofu, firm or extra-firm, toss it in the freezer. When you are ready to prepare it, let it thaw, drain it, then you can cut it into slabs and season it and pan-fry it. Freezing tofu first, then thawing gives it a chewy meat-like texture. One slice will suffice for protein for one person for that meal. Season as you wish, pan-fry or bake and use it as your meat (don't turn up your nose, we can't be picky right now), or put between bread for a sandwich. Or cube it and toss it into a vegetable stew, or saute and toss into seasoned rice or tomato sauce with pasta. It will give you your protein and really, it does not taste bad because it does not have a strong flavor of its own and absorbs the flavors of the things it is cooked with or seasoned with. Out of eggs? Crumble the tofu and "scramble" it with any vegetable that you have, adding any seasoning that you like.

Instead of expensive chips, try "fried Cheerios." Melt some margarine in a pan, add some garlic salt or garlic powder and salt, stir it up a bit, add Cheerios (or the generic brand of these). Toss to coat with the butter and brown just a bit. This is what my kids ate instead of potato chips because we could not afford chips. This works well with Rice Chex and Corn Chex or their generic brands, too.

Use half a paper towel sheet. You might be surprised at how far that half sheet will go. Count your toilet paper squares. With most good 2-ply brands, 4 squares are enough. Or, and pardon my details, use a washcloth for wiping urine and save the toilet paper for the other. Cut up t-shirts will work, too.

Don't forget that a bar of soap cleans just as well and less expensively than liquid hand soap.

The picture of the line of toothpaste across the top of the toothbrush? You only need a pea-size amount of toothpaste to brush your teeth well. Actually, if you have more, most of it might end up falling out of your mouth while you brush anyway.

Ends and pieces of loaves of bread or the last unused hot dog bun should be saved in the freezer in one container. When it's full, blitz it in the blender, spread it out, and lightly toast it in the oven. No need to buy bread crumbs. If you do buy potato chips (when they're on sale) you know all those crumbs at the bottom of the bag that are usually tossed? Save those and use to coat chicken pieces that are first dipped in milk and/or egg and make oven-fried chicken. Cracker crumbs (except for graham crackers) can be saved and crumbled for casserole toppings.

If you buy blueberries in bulk, rinse them, spread them on a cookie sheet and put into the freezer. When they are frozen, pour them into a freezer bag. Great for adding to pancakes, waffles, muffins, and quick breads.

I also halved the amount of meat I served. I have never used a full pound of ground beef in a lasagna, for instance. There is enough cheese in the lasagna dish for your protein.

Potato soup does not have to have milk in it. I have never made mine with milk. Add onions and garlic and cook it in chicken broth. (I also add one of those Goya Ham Flavoring packets.) Great inexpensive meal.

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Dene
4/1/2020 02:31:30 pm

Thanks for some more good tips.

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Dene
4/9/2020 09:00:42 am

And perhaps the ultimate tip: Eat slowly. That way if your children finish what is on their plates and are still hungry, you can give them what is on yours. A couple of times it has come to that with us. They needed it to grow and stay healthy, and it didn't hurt us to eat a little less for a change.

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    Dene Ward has taught the Bible for more than  forty years, spoken at women’s retreats and lectureships, and has written both devotional books and class materials. She lives in Lake Butler, Florida, with her husband Keith.


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