"I'll never forget what he did to me."
As you might guess, this was not said in a kindly or grateful way. What this person remembered was something he perceived as an evil against him. One done by a brother. And it was said again and again, in fact, every time that person's name came up in conversation.
Everyone out there understands the problem here, at least in their minds. When it happens to them, it may not be so clear how they should feel. After all…and here come the rationalizations. But let's just focus on a few passages that make it as plain as possible that our own salvation depends upon whether we forgive others.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you (Eph 4:31-32).
Put on therefore, as God's elect, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do you (Col 3:12-13).
Just like God forgave us, it says. Are we so arrogant as to think that while God must forgive us, we don't have to forgive anyone else? The next verse in Ephesians goes on to say that we should be imitators of God, and forgiving is the nearest antecedent.
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matt 6:14-15). I think that one is pretty plain, don't you? Then we have the following:
Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. (Matt 18:23-35).
Please notice: the servant was forgiven and in good standing with the king until he sinned again by failing to forgive his debtor. The king had forgiven an unpayable debt, while the servant would not forgive one a small fraction of his own. That is where we stand, with that unforgiving servant when we follow his example. The debt God forgave us is one we can never repay. No matter how wrongly we have been treated, and some have been abused to the point of martyrdom, we cannot hold on to a festering grudge that eats away at our hearts. It will send us to Hell.
No, you may not ever truly forget how someone mistreated you. No one can just open up his brain and cut it out. But you can keep from bringing it up day after day, wallowing in the memories and sharing them with any who will listen. Those words at the top of this article should never come out of the mouth of a person who has experienced the saving grace of God brought about by his Son's sacrifice. It may be the most ungrateful thing we can do to God.
You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD (Lev 19:18).
Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done” (Prov 24:29).
See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone (1Thess 5:15).
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord (Rom 12:17-19).
Dene Ward
As you might guess, this was not said in a kindly or grateful way. What this person remembered was something he perceived as an evil against him. One done by a brother. And it was said again and again, in fact, every time that person's name came up in conversation.
Everyone out there understands the problem here, at least in their minds. When it happens to them, it may not be so clear how they should feel. After all…and here come the rationalizations. But let's just focus on a few passages that make it as plain as possible that our own salvation depends upon whether we forgive others.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you (Eph 4:31-32).
Put on therefore, as God's elect, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do you (Col 3:12-13).
Just like God forgave us, it says. Are we so arrogant as to think that while God must forgive us, we don't have to forgive anyone else? The next verse in Ephesians goes on to say that we should be imitators of God, and forgiving is the nearest antecedent.
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matt 6:14-15). I think that one is pretty plain, don't you? Then we have the following:
Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. (Matt 18:23-35).
Please notice: the servant was forgiven and in good standing with the king until he sinned again by failing to forgive his debtor. The king had forgiven an unpayable debt, while the servant would not forgive one a small fraction of his own. That is where we stand, with that unforgiving servant when we follow his example. The debt God forgave us is one we can never repay. No matter how wrongly we have been treated, and some have been abused to the point of martyrdom, we cannot hold on to a festering grudge that eats away at our hearts. It will send us to Hell.
No, you may not ever truly forget how someone mistreated you. No one can just open up his brain and cut it out. But you can keep from bringing it up day after day, wallowing in the memories and sharing them with any who will listen. Those words at the top of this article should never come out of the mouth of a person who has experienced the saving grace of God brought about by his Son's sacrifice. It may be the most ungrateful thing we can do to God.
You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD (Lev 19:18).
Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done” (Prov 24:29).
See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone (1Thess 5:15).
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord (Rom 12:17-19).
Dene Ward
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