Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

God, seated on the throne, held out a book sealed with seven seals (Rev 5). No one on earth, in the heavens, or under the earth was found worthy to open the seals.  Worthy implies the power and authority to execute the purposes written in the book. One of the elders told John to stop weeping that none was found, for the "lion of the tribe of Judah, the root of David" had overcome to open the book. The expression "no one was found" implies a search – they did "search through heaven to find a savior." This search was symbolic in John's vision to emphasize that no one was able except Jesus. But, how did Jesus conquer Satan and sin and death? When John turned to see a Lion, he saw a "Lamb slaughtered," but standing alive (resurrected). Opening the seals does not refer to salvation through the cross, for the Lamb was already slain and raised and stood at the throne of God. For now let the seals remain a mystery and know that Jesus accomplished God's plan to save man by suffering. He suffered all his life at the hands of the chief priests, rulers and Pharisees. Finally, he suffered the horrific death of the cross. Jesus is our slaughtered Passover Lamb (1 Cor 5:7).  Suffering is God's way of conquering. The suffering saints in the arena, on crosses, burning as torches at parties conquered the Roman Empire (Revelation).

The disciples rejoiced to suffer (Acts 5:41). Peter urged Christians to follow Jesus' example of suffering and His attitude of not reviling. In fact, this IS our calling (1 Pet 2:21). We should "not think it strange" that we suffer, but bear it like Jesus and show our faith to the world (1Pet 4:12).

We are called to present our bodies a living sacrifice (Rom 12:1-2). We, too, are to be slaughtered lambs, having hope in the same resurrection. Whether by persecution, disease, famine, nakedness, peril or sword, we must imitate Jesus.

Are we dodging the bullet of suffering by softening the message, a gospel that offends none? Do we keep quiet when subjects come up in society that might cause our rejection, even job loss? I do know that many (most) complain at even our "First World" inconveniences, much less real suffering. Maybe we need to read our Bibles instead of just listening to pleasing preaching.

If God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, knowing most would reject the gospel, how might he "give" us for the sake of saving a soul that might ultimately be lost?
 
I charge [thee] in the sight of God, and of Christ Jesus, who shall judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be urgent in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching 2Tim4:1,2.
 
Keith Ward

     Perhaps because I am no longer parenting, I am a latecomer to this "soft parenting" concept.  I first heard of it from a friend who lives far away.  Evidently, the majority of parents in her congregation are raising their children this way.  As a Bible class teacher, she is not impressed.  Seems they need a second or even third teacher for "crowd control," and sometimes the entire class is spent just asking the children to sit down and listen.  Even if they get the majority to do so, one or two of the others do their best to disrupt class so that the others cannot learn.  So I decided to do a little research into this "new" approach to parenting.  I have read half a dozen or more articles, both pro and con, and even a couple that say "Maybe."  But how about we compare this method to the Bible's directions on parenting?  There are many plans in a person’s mind, but it is the counsel of the LORD that will stand  Prov 19:21. 
     In the first case, I could not find that term in more than one article.  Most of the others used the term "gentle" parenting.  From the list of dos and don'ts (funny how the parents were given a list when it was verboten to give the children such a list), I did not really see much difference in the two. 
     First, let me just say that I highly resent the description.  Why?  What is the opposite of gentle or soft?  Hard, intimidating, authoritative, whatever you come up with is an implicit judgment against the ones who do not follow this new method.  I believe I was at least a fair mother, gentle when needed, strong and firm when needed.  Yes, I made some mistakes; I can make you a list if you want.  All parents make mistakes.  We are not perfect.  Funny how the ones I read about who want to criticize their parents, cannot for the life of themselves figure out any mistakes they have made.  Something wrong with that mentality, I think.  Let him who is without sin cast the first stone, John 8:7.
     Second, "Gentle Parenting was not hammered out and defined by child development specialists, but by social media influencers" (FamilyMan.movember.com—I could not find an author, only the psychologists who reviewed it).  "It hasn't gone through the same kind of testing and study as some of the more widely known approaches to parenting."  If you don't have a problem with that, perhaps you should think twice about your judgment on anything else as well.   If you truly want sound advice, look for a Christian couple who have successfully raised a family, not some nobody on social media who may or may not even believe in God.
     One of the problems with this method is "it can cause parents stress and frustration" (Dr Cara Goodwin in separate articles.}  It can be completely impractical.  In every case of misbehavior the parent is to focus on the child and his assessment of why he did a particular thing.  And in every hypothetical example of how to do this, the child always acquiesces.  I'm sorry, but let's talk about real children and real situations and reactions.  Suppose your child decides he does not want to wear socks today, but the school insists on it, perhaps as part of a school uniform.  Do you really have time, early in the morning when everyone is preparing to go out for the day, to discuss this with him, trying to show him that it is reasonable, and gain his approval?  And if you do, what if he still does not want to wear his socks?  Sometimes you obey the rules "just because."  I doubt the police officer who writes you a ticket will stand there and try to gain your acceptance in the matter.  You can discuss when you can, but you will not always be able to, and when it comes down to brass tacks, he has to wear the socks if he attends that school whether he likes it or not.  Every child needs to learn that concept or he will be in trouble big time someday.
     Another problem with this method is that you may actually be rewarding bad behavior.  Every time he screams or hits his brother or plays with the china figurine you told him to be gentle with, you are giving him the attention he wants.  What does he learn?  If I want Mama, just do something she doesn't like.  You have reinforced that idea again and again.
      Gentle parenting can easily become permissive parenting, which can be harmful to the child in the long run.  One study (a real study now) showed that preschoolers that were raised with permissive parenting had less self-control and independence as teenagers (Also Dr Goodwin).
     Gentle parenting can create a kid-centric family.  While that may not sound bad, it really makes no sense at all.  (See earlier post on April 25, 2025.)  The marriage is the foundation of any home, and the adults are the ones who should be making the decisions and leading the way.  They are the ones who are mature, experienced in life, and wiser certainly than any two—or ten--year old ever was.  Yet too often this method means the kids run the house and the parents are afraid of their reaction when they must make a decision the children won't like.  This is backwards, another caution issued by Dr. Goodwin. 
            This method talks about being "partners" with the child in his upbringing.  No, we are not partners, which implies equality in knowledge, authority, and ability.  God very specifically gave two roles here—parent and child (Eph 6:1ff, among many, many others).  Children need the security of a person they know can and will provide and protect, as well as train.  He needs to know that there is someone far more able than he is to take care of his problems and needs.  Partner does not imply that, and neither does "friend."
     And maybe the worst thing is that gentle parenting treats the child as an isolated unit, outside the context of family or community, meaning with no concern for how their behavior affects others. Let me camp here for a while.  In the first place, the impracticality shows up again.  Suppose your child smacks his brother in the head with one of their toys.  Now you have a hurt child who is bleeding all over the place (scalp wounds are the worst) and a child who caused the hurt that you are now supposed to stop and discuss things with?  How did you feel when you hit your brother?  What do you think caused you to do this?  How can we keep this from happening again?  Meanwhile, your other child, who deserves all of your attention at the moment, is left hurting and ignored, has blood running into his eyes, and wonders, "What about me?"  None of us is an "isolated unit."  We all have some sort of community we interact with, even if it is just a small group of friends at school or kids in the neighborhood.  A servant of the Lord is always concerned with how his behavior affects others.  If nothing else, it's simple good manners, something else this method seems to ignore.
     This is where I have the gravest doubts.  How is this child supposed to learn self-control, self-denial, and putting the needs of others before himself, even his enemies, as Jesus taught?  Or do these parents think that somehow all of this can wait until the child is grown?  Really?  I think I remember having "the golden rule" printed on my school ruler as a child.  Everyone knew you learned these things as children so it would be ingrained by adulthood.
     You aren't supposed to say no, this method says.  God didn't have that problem.  He put one big no-no right in the middle of the perfect place to live, Eden, and he said, "Do not eat of it or you will die."  Another time, in the space of 17 verses he said some version of "no" eleven times (Ex 20:1-17).  When their children heard the law, what do you think they heard but restriction after restriction?  Yet God said, When your children ask you later on, What are the stipulations, statutes, and ordinances that the LORD our God commanded you?  Deut 6:20, it was to be a teaching opportunity, not something that caused them anxiety.  In fact, nearly every psychologist I have read says that children do best when they have clear cut boundaries.  It may seem like restraint from one side, but from the other it represents security.  Children with security (and routine, I might add) always do better. Of course we want to praise and encourage our children and not be constantly criticizing them.  But just as certainly, God did not think it would ruin their spirits or stunt their emotional development to tell them no once in a while.
     Two of God's servants turned out to be horrible fathers.  God told them exactly what they did wrong when raising their children. 
       But the sons of Eli were wicked men. They did not acknowledge the LORD’s authority… Also, before they burned the fat the priest’s attendant would come and say to the person who was making the sacrifice, Give some meat for the priest to roast! He won’t accept boiled meat from you, but only raw.   If the individual said to him, They should certainly burn the fat away first, then take for yourself whatever you wish, then he would say, No! Give it now! If not, I’ll take it by force!  The sin of these young men was very great in the LORD’s sight, for they treated the LORD’s offering with contempt 1 Sam2: 12, 15-17.  Eli tried to stop them when he heard what they were doing, but it was too late.  What did God say about their father? He restrained them not 1 Sam 3:13.  He didn't say, "No," when they were young, so when he tried with his now adult sons, they wouldn't listen.  He didn't raise them to know that they could not do whatever they wanted to do, and since that was exactly what God meant for him to do as a father, his whole family lost the priesthood, 1 Sam 2:27-30, and he and his sons died. 
     David did much the same thing with Adonijah.  Even though God had chosen Solomon to be the next king after David, Adonijah would have none of it.  He rebelled, and even after Solomon showed him mercy and let him live, he wouldn't stop.  He thought if he approached his kingship through the back door, he could finagle his way in.  So he asked for Abishag, David's last concubine.  Anyone schooled in the culture knows that a claim on the king's wife is a claim on the throne, and so he was dealt with accordingly--executed.  And the problem once again began in childhood.  Now his father had never corrected him saying, Why do you do such things? 1 Kgs 1:6. 
     Do not think for a minute that what they are learning now as they manipulate you (yes, they know how) that they will turn out to be wonderful servants of the Lord.  Train up a child in the way he should go, the Proverb writer says.  What you are teaching now is the way they will go when they grow up.  If they are never restrained, if they never learn about authority, if they never learn concern for others, if they never learn plain old good manners, how can they ever understand what faces them in real life—that you don't always get what you want?  In fact, the world doesn't care what they want.  That will be far more traumatic to them then than a "No!" now.  Not to mention the more important spiritual results.  My husband, the probation officer, met far too many of them across the table from him, young people who grew up thinking they could do whatever they wanted to do because they always had, and found out the hard way that was not true.
 
Think of him who endured such opposition against himself by sinners, so that you may not grow weary in your souls and give up.  You have not yet resisted to the point of bloodshed in your struggle against sin.  And have you forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as sons? My son, do not scorn the Lord’s discipline or give up when he corrects you.  For the Lord disciplines the one he loves and chastises every son he accepts. Endure your suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline?  But if you do not experience discipline, something all sons have shared in, then you are illegitimate and are not sons.  Besides, we have experienced discipline from our earthly fathers and we respected them; shall we not submit ourselves all the more to the Father of spirits and receive life?  For they disciplined us for a little while as seemed good to them, but he does so for our benefit, that we may share his holiness.  Now all discipline seems painful at the time, not joyful. But later it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness for those trained by it Heb 12:3-11.
 
Dene Ward

I have had some wonderful comments come up in my classes.  Women who were not too embarrassed to share a moment of vulnerability, a mistake in judgment, or a light bulb moment have all had great impacts on their listeners.  I have come to love these women who have faced adversity in many ways and kept their faith, who have handled doubt and come out stronger.  Without these students, my classes would have been ho-hum at best.
            I haven’t much to add to this after the last subject we discussed.  Comments can be motivated by practically all the things that questions can be, both good and bad.  As we said last week, we won’t discuss the negative attitudes.  No one who cares enough to read these things is likely to have bad attitudes.  The same guideline goes for this topic as that one:  think of your classmates when you make your comments.  I honestly believe that love is what has made my best students so willing to share—to keep others from the same painful mistakes or help them through similar experiences.
            I especially appreciate a student who sees that I have not communicated well and has a simpler way to say what she has understood.  More than once it has instantly cleared confusion from the other faces.  When you do this, though, please make it brief.  Too many times we spoil what would have been wonderful by adding too many unnecessary words, words that dilute the effect of the simple explanation and make it once again muddled. 
            “Muddled” is the perfect word.  When you put fresh mint, for example, in the bottom of the pitcher and pound on it with a wooden spoon, you are “muddling” the drink you are making.  Instead of being plain tea, it will now be mint tea, or peach, or raspberry, or whatever else you “muddled.”  It will no longer be plain and simple tea.  In fact, you might not be able to tell what the initial beverage was before you “muddled” all those flavors in it.  The simpler the comment, the fewer the words, the better.
            And may I say this as kindly as I know how?  Class is not the place to show everyone how much you know.  I have been in mixed Bible classes where people in the class practically took over and taught it from their seats.  I call these “preacher comments.”  I’m sorry, dear brothers.  I have the utmost respect for what you do, but you are definitely the worst offenders.  Then there are the ones who seem to think no one can say it as well as they can.  As in the first instance, comments should be brief and to the point.
            Comments should also be on the subject.  Any time I hear, “I know this is off topic, but...” I groan inwardly.  We are supposed to be learning what the teacher is supposed to be teaching us, not some other lesson someone in the pew decided on.  The elders have a reason for the classes they choose—at least they should—and no one else should decide what needs to be taught.  The shepherds are feeding the flock the things the flock needs, from careful observation and thought.  The man in the pew may be feeding them what he thinks they need, and in reality, what he wants them to hear, usurping authority in the process.
            And we should make this clear too—just because a class was full of comments does not mean it was a good class.  It may very well mean the teacher completely lost control.  If you remember nothing else, remember this:  anything anyone can come up with off the cuff is far less beneficial than the things the teacher has spent hours preparing—at least it had better be.
            So, comments?  Yes, please.  Brief, on topic, clear and helpful.  Always think before you speak—but then that is perfect advice any time.
            My students excel in all the areas we have discussed.  They are excited learners who work hard and consider one another before themselves.  Together we make a safe place to discuss the things we have all wondered about or that trouble us, without having to worry about anyone judging us or spreading our comments and private experiences beyond the classroom doors.  What is said in class, stays in class—that is our rule.  If every Bible class followed their examples, the church would be more knowledgeable and more loving, just as these women are becoming week after week.
 
Let each one of us please his neighbor for that which is good, unto edifying. For Christ also pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell upon me, Rom 15:2,3.
 
Dene Ward

I love students who ask questions, and most of mine do.   Please ask your questions.  Many times when one of my students asks a question, someone speaks up and says, “I was wondering that too.”  A teacher who doesn’t welcome questions ought to have a seat and stay there.  Questions show you have been listening, and even better, thinking about what you have heard, the answer to every good teacher’s prayer. 
            My classes are peppered with questions.  I am thrilled that these ladies are not too embarrassed to ask, and confident in how I will accept those questions.  Yes, there are unwelcome questions, but the difference between them and the good questions should be obvious to anyone. 
            This guideline takes care of almost everything: don’t be selfish in your questions.  Consider the effects on the other class members.  Consider who might be listening to you, including babes in Christ and outsiders from the community.  Remember that there may be visitors passing through or people moving in, “shopping” for a new church home.  Consideration for others should be the main characteristic of a Christian, even in Bible classes.  I seldom have a problem with questions like that, unlike my brothers who teach auditorium classes, and my wonderful students deserve all the credit for that.  Here are some other guidelines, most of which I have never had to deal with.
            Questions that are so far off the subject they give everyone mental whiplash are not appropriate.  One wonders, in fact, if the student has been listening and considering the class material at all, or simply letting his mind wander.  A good teacher arrives with a goal and a plan to reach it.  When you dig a pothole in the road with an unrelated question, you can seriously hinder progress in the journey to that goal. 
            Recently a teacher I know was asked, “Would you please comment on…” and because the subject was totally removed from the point of the lesson and not one he could have intelligently answered without study, he simply said, “No, that’s not something I am prepared to talk about.”  Some might criticize him, but I won’t.  He had the best interests of the class at heart.  As their leader, it was up to him to reach the goal of the lesson, not be sidetracked by something that didn’t even have a black and white answer in the scriptures.  It’s time we supported our teachers and the risks they take to their reputation, when anything they say can be misconstrued and often is, instead of sitting back taking the easy, judgmental way out and joining the bandwagon in criticizing them.  If you have one of those questions, please save it for private conversations with the teacher.  Do not disrupt the learning of others because you have a private problem. 
            This is especially true in the Sunday morning adult class where you never know who may be there.  A smaller class with a defined sub-purpose of encouragement may stop for a moment if someone is in need.  Many of my women’s classes have done exactly that, but even then, we were conscious of who was present.  If I deemed it inappropriate at that particular moment, I gently suggested a private moment after class.  Usually several others, mature women who made it a point to be aware of what was going on, stayed with me and the one in need received the attention she required.  I learned this the hard way, after allowing classes to continue on a distracting course, which ultimately led to damaged relationships because I was too afraid of hurting feelings.  Tell me which is worse, a permanently injured bond between sisters in the Lord or a momentarily bruised ego that was soothed as soon as possible?  We have said this before—teachers must sometimes make hard, spur-of-the-moment decisions.  If you can’t, then you shouldn’t teach.
            Then there are those who seek to mask an agenda with their questions, or who have a major hobby they wish to broach at every opportunity, or who have a vendetta against the teacher.  I would assume that none of those even care to be reading this, so we won’t deal with them here.  Let me just add this:  I have seen young teachers in adult classes discouraged to the point of never teaching again because no one but him was brave enough to take on a sinner.  Shame on the leadership of a church when that happens.
            As I said, the wrong questions are usually obvious.  Sometimes, though, an honest person simply needs a little direction.  It is easy when you are in the middle of a personal problem, to forget one’s obligations to others. 
            A class full of questioners is a teacher’s dream, a dream I have fulfilled every week by some wonderful women.  Don’t be embarrassed to ask the questions that need asking.
 
After three days they found [Jesus] sitting in the Temple, listening to them and asking them questions, Luke 2:46.
 
Dene Ward

One thing I seldom have is an unprepared student.  I don’t think it’s because my lessons are so interesting.  I don’t think it’s because they are so much fun to do.  Most of the time they take a good hour, and often more.  Yet my students show up again and again with something written down.  It may not always be what I am after, and usually that is my fault, but at least they tried and I am grateful to them for the effort. 
            Every teacher appreciates a prepared student.  If you are given something to read, then read it.  If you are given an outline, then go over it.  Make a few notes, look up the scriptures cited, and list any questions that might have risen in your mind.  The teacher may answer them in the class, but then again, s/he may not. 
            I usually write my own Bible class material, including scriptures to read and questions to answer.  I try to design questions that will lead the students to their own discoveries.  I know it has worked when they arrive excited, hardly able to contain themselves over the things they have learned and the ideas they have unearthed in all that digging.  Usually those ideas are what I am aimed at, but we cannot get there if the preparation wasn’t done beforehand, and these women usually have.  If we had to spend the time on the fundamentals for the unprepared, the excitement would die in those who have done the work.  In fact, I usually continue on for the sake of the prepared.  If someone is left behind because of their own laziness, why should the others suffer?  Maybe they will do better the next time.  Sometimes being a teacher means you must make hard decisions, and sometimes it means a little discipline toward the student.  But I seldom have that problem due to these dedicated students.
            As to those who do prepare but feel like they must have missed something: it may very well be the fault of the person who wrote the material—in this case, me.  Sometimes a question is poorly worded.  I know that despite copious and careful editing, I still cannot see every way that a question might be interpreted.  So answer to the best of your ability—that’s what my ladies do.  Why should you be embarrassed if it’s the questioner’s fault and not yours?  I can guarantee you that even if you missed the point, you still learned something from reading the Word of God and thinking about it.
            But there is an even more important preparation—an open mind.  An openly skeptical student usually thinks he is keeping a teacher humble, or being careful with the truth, either of which excuses his behavior, to him anyway.  What he’s really doing is hurting himself because he is refusing to consider anything he hasn’t already learned.  Certainly a student should “beware of false teachers,” but everyone deserves a fair hearing.  Skepticism has already judged and convicted before hearing a word.  Any teacher who has spent hours preparing and dares to put himself in front of a group deserves better than that.
            Especially in an ongoing class of busy women, teachers understand when preparation time is sometimes impossible.  As a teacher whose lessons are more complicated than most, I understand better than most.  So should the student stay away if she is not prepared?
            Absolutely not.  Many have come on anyway, and for that I thank them.  If you have that open mindset, you can still learn.  They always bring a pen and listen and write.  If you have done this and still find yourself hopelessly lost, rather than delay the rest of the class, ask for a private session.  I have held those more than once, and teachers should be happy to do it.  But don’t ever deprive yourself of an hour of encouragement and exhortation with your sisters because you feel embarrassed.  Have you caught onto this yet?  Embarrassment will get in the way of your being a good student more than practically anything else.  Don’t let the Devil have his way with you.  You can still learn something, even if you have not prepared the lesson.  Your mind will be stimulated to greater understanding and insights. 
            So here is your first lesson, care of my wonderful students:  Prepare your lesson as well as you are able; prepare your mind every time.
 
…and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace, Eph 6:15.
 
Dene Ward

I taught my first Bible class when I was sixteen and an elder pulled me out of the high school class because the third grade teacher hadn’t shown up.  I had no material and no prep time.  Why he chose me when there were plenty of able-bodied adults in a congregation of 150, I still don’t know, but the children and I got through the ten plagues with a combination of raucous laughter and wide-eyed amazement—them at God’s power, and me at having survived those forty-five minutes.
            I’ve been teaching ever since, from the baby class when mine were that size—and don’t let anyone tell you a one year old can’t learn anything—all the way up to middle school—another place we seriously underestimate the capabilities of our children.  I wrote a workbook for them called “Did You Ever Wonder?” exploring all those things you wonder about in Bible class but are afraid to ask.  It was given to someone else to teach once, who said, “There’s no way these kids will get this,” even after I had taught it twice myself.  So the book came back to me and I taught it yet again to a group who “got” every bit of it. 
            I’ve taught at least one women’s class everywhere I have been.  That’s a group not only underestimated, but which often underestimates itself.  Most of the material for women, a sister I recently met said, is “spun sugar.”  In some places women’s studies are limited to being a good wife and mother, which leaves a lot of women out.  Yes, those things ought to be taught, and recently have not been.  It has become too popular to follow the mainstream media and disparage the men, which is exactly why I have written a study for wives.  It, too, is deeper than the standard work on the subject, because women can dig just as deeply as the men.  Their minds are just as capable of complex reasoning.  They must be or they couldn’t run their homes.  That’s exactly who I cater to in my classes—meat eaters who are tired of milk, or even the glorified milk called custard.  Women are not spiritual invalids.
            I have had to drop my children’s classes since 2005.  Children need dependable continuity, and with my health issues and increasing disability, I cannot be counted on.  Adults can understand if an emergency arises, if a weak body just cannot manage on a particular day, or if a medication wreaks havoc instead of comfort.  Children can’t.  I nearly cried when a recent group graduated that I had never taught.  But such is life; things change, and most of the time people get along just fine without you.
            Along the way I have had some wonderful students, and it seemed good to tell you about them, so they will get the thanks they deserve, but also so you can learn from them how to be a good Bible class student yourselves.  Don’t think that this is self-serving.  By emulating these women, you will get far more out of your classes, and so will your classmates.  People who disrupt classes, even accidentally, are hindering others, not helping, and we all know how Jesus felt about people who cast stumbling blocks in front of others, particularly the babes. 
            So please join me this week.  I hope that what you learn from these remarkable women will help far beyond these few weeks.
 
Help me to understand what your precepts mean.  Then I can meditate on your marvelous teachings, Psalm 119:27, NET.
 
Dene Ward
 
 

I am getting tired of this.  Too many times lately I have heard that we should not worry about the examples left to us in God’s word—we can’t do it anyway.  It’s just a bunch of idealism.  We should be content with what we can do so our self-esteem won’t suffer; so we won’t have to deal with guilt; so we won’t push ourselves beyond our limits.  We should stop looking to Biblical role models and just be ourselves.
            Maybe it’s the generation I came from.  Maybe it’s the family work ethic I grew up with.  I can just hear my grandmothers both saying, “If you have time to whine, you have time to do a little more work.” 
            Those women just did what had to be done, when it had to be done, how it had to be done, and never expected praise for it.  They never suffered a lack of self-esteem either.  They were both happy women, content with their lots in life despite the real sweat they sweated and the long hours they kept, both in the home and in the workplace.  One grandmother, widowed from her 40s, was still walking to work in her 70s.  In Florida.  Even in the summer.  If you had told them they were strong women, they would have laughed in your face.
            I am tired of having Biblical examples held up as impossible.  I am tired of hearing how we should just ignore them and not worry about being like them, because we can’t anyway.  God has always given His people examples to follow.  Moses, Aaron, Miriam, Abraham, Samuel, and David were always held up for the Israelites to emulate throughout the chronicles, the psalms and the prophets.  What?  Should He have given them a reprobate to imitate?
            The Hebrew writer gives us a whole list of people to model ourselves after.  And guess what?  Not a one of them was perfect—yet they all did at least one amazing act of faith, something we probably think we “just can’t do.”  Shall we ignore them because, after all, God would not want us to experience a feeling of failure? 
            Paul told the Corinthians in 1 Cor 11:1 to follow his example.  Yes, it was a specific example the context of which begins in chapter 8, but still—can we imitate Paul at all?  Or shall we claim disability and dispense with his advice?  “After all, we’re not Paul…”
            I am tired of having women who began in the depths of sin held up as the example to follow as if they had never changed.  Jesus told the adulterous woman in John 8, “Go thy way and sin no more.”  Wasn’t that an impossible task?  But I bet that forgiven woman tried to accomplish it a whole lot harder than we do and succeeded far better for the trying. 
            If we are asking too much of people to strive for the ideal, then how could Peter have ever written:  For to this you have been called because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example so that you might follow in his steps, 1 Pet 2:21.  How could Paul have said we are to be “conformed to the image of His son,” Rom 8:29; and “walk in love as Christ loved us” Eph 5:2; and “Have this mind in you which was also in Christ” Phil 2:5?  How could John have dared write “If we abide in him we should walk as he walked” 1 John 2:6?
            Certainly following Christ’s example perfectly is a difficult task.  But tell me, how can you ever become better if the goal you have set before yourself is easily attainable?  If I wanted to become a long distance runner, surely my goal should be something more than running down to the mailbox and back—even my mailbox which is nearly half a mile away.  Surely if it is frustrating to model ourselves after a high example, we should avoid using the Lord as one.  That is what follows from the logic I have been hearing lately:  the only thing that will come from me trying to be like my Lord is self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness, so I shouldn’t even try.
            God must think otherwise.  He places high expectations in front of us, and He expects us to use them as goals, not ignore them because they are impossible.  Do you know why?  Because He gives us the tools to reach them.
            1 Pet 4:11—We serve by the “strength which God supplies,” not what we supply.
            Eph 3:20—His power “works in us;” His power, not ours.
            2 Tim 3:17—He equips us “for every good work;” not just the ones we find easy.
            God does expect a lot from us.  Here is the key:  stop picking at it like a sore.  Just do what is set before you every day, that much and no more.  If you have time to sit down and cry about it, you’re wasting one of the few precious commodities you can control, and that for only the moment.  Remember where your power comes from, and do not doubt it for an instant. 
            Will it be easy?  No—maybe that is another one of our problems.  We expect God to make it comfortable.  We expect it to be fun.  We expect it to never hurt.  We think if we have to sweat it isn’t fair.  God never promised any of that.  He did promise all the help we could possibly need.
            Here is where you find your sense of self-worth:  not in what you alone can do, but in recognizing that with a loving Father’s help, you can do more than you ever dreamed possible.
 
 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work, 2 Corinthians 9:8.
 
Dene Ward

I went out to water my flowers early one morning, grabbed up the two gallon watering can and headed for the spigot.  The temperature had already risen to the upper 70s, and the humidity had beaten that number by at least twenty.  It dripped off the live oaks, bonking on the metal carport roof as loud as pebbles would have, but I knew that soon the plants would fold their leaves against the heat in a bid to keep as much moisture in them as possible.  A morning drink was a necessity for them to survive the coming afternoon.
            I picked up the filled can and began the long trudge to the flower bed.  What was that?  Water was running down the leg that bumped the can as I walked, so I lifted the can and examined it.  A steady stream of water poured out a tiny hole not quite halfway up its side.
            After a moment’s thought, I picked up the pace and made it to the bed in time to pour most of the water on the flowers.  Ordinarily after watering, I keep a full can next to the bed to fill the small bird bath next to it as needed, but that can would no longer hold even half its normal capacity.  So after the watering, I returned to the well tank and filled it only halfway and sat it by the bath.  I would have to fill it twice as often now, but at least I could get a most of a gallon out of it.  Better than nothing.
             We are a lot like that watering can.  We should be filled to the capacity that God intended, but too often we don’t hold even half of it.  Paul tells us we each receive a different gift according to the grace of God, Rom 12:6; Peter tells us to use that gift as a good steward of God’s grace, 1 Pet 4:10.  Holes in the can mean we are not using those gifts as God designed, squandering His grace in the process. 
            Sometimes we deny the grace.  “I can’t do that,” we say, when God has clearly put an opportunity in front of us.  Have you ever given someone a gift and had them tell you that you didn’t?  Of course not.  Everyone knows that the giver knows what he gave, yet here we are being so ridiculous as to tell God He most certainly did not give us any gifts.  God does not put opportunities in front of us that He has not given us the ability to handle.  More than anyone else—even more that we ourselves—He knows what we can and cannot do.  Denying His grace is simply disobedience.
            Sometimes we cheat the grace.  “I’m too busy,” we tell people when something comes up.  Never mind that the opportunity is squarely within my wheelhouse—if I don’t want to do it, being busy is the excuse of the day.  In fact, sometimes we make ourselves busy with things we prefer in order to avoid more difficult spiritual obligations.  It’s easier to work late one night than go visit a weak brother.  It’s more fun to work out with a peer (“keeping my temple healthy”) than learn how to study with an older Christian who wants to share his hard-earned knowledge.  Shopping must be done, but it is certainly less trouble—and a lot quicker--to go shopping alone than to take an older person who is no longer able to get out on her own.  And thus our busy-ness has kept us from filling ourselves to capacity.
            Sometimes we do our best to spoil the grace by poking the hole in the can ourselves.  God has a purpose for each one of us.  I can sabotage those plans by my own selfish choices in life.  Worldliness and materialism can diminish my capacity for the spiritual.  Bad habits can ruin a reputation and make me less effective.  Bad decisions can make me unfit for God’s original plan for me.  Even if I turn myself around and repent, I may never again have the same impact I would have if I had made better choices earlier in life.  I may very well have drilled a hole in the can so that it will only hold half or less what God intended it to hold.
            Take a good look at your watering can this morning.  God knows better than you how much it can hold.  Don’t deny the grace; don’t squander the opportunities.  Don’t drill a hole where one doesn’t belong.  Capacity is His business, not yours, and what He wants is an overflowing can.
 
Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work, 2 Timothy 2:20-21.
 
Dene Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Doy Moyer.

Never speak evil. We are not to speak evil of anyone, including those in positions of power. Not even Michael the archangel would bring a railing accusation against the devil, but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” (Jude 9) The powers that be are in God’s hands and judged according to His will and in His time; He will deal with them as He wills. When they fail to honor God, then He will judge them.

This is not to say that we endorse or appreciate everything about people in power. I have severe differences with many who make laws, and I try to leave no doubt as to where I stand on moral issues (like abortion or homosexual activity). However, as a Christian, I try to be careful about what I would say about those in authoritative positions, especially when I disagree with them. We can deal appropriately with the various issues without bringing railing accusations against those in power or dishonoring their position.

Remember the example of Jesus (1 Peter 2:21-25): “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously….”

If we are truly disciples of Jesus, then we will seek to follow this example. This ought to impact how we interact in person, on social media, or any other form of communication. Christians do not get to hide behind a wall so they can insult and revile. Even when being put to death in the most shameful and degrading way as a criminal by the ruling authorities, Jesus did not revile or insult, but rather offered forgiveness and died so that they can choose to enter into His grace.
 
Doy Moyer

Keith had major surgery a couple of springs ago and because of his profound deafness I was with him in the hospital as caregiver 24/7.  We don’t do real sign language, but it is easier for me to communicate with him after 45 years of gradually adapting to his increasing disability.  People who are not used to it simply do not know how, and reading lips is not the easy fix to the problem that most think.
            Unfortunately, this hospital stay coincided with the garden harvest.  The beans, squash, and cucumbers had already begun coming in.  While we were away that week, those vegetables continued to grow.  When we got home, the beans were a lost cause--thick, tough, stringy and totally inedible.  The squash looked like a brass band had marched through, discarding their bright yellow tubas beneath the large green leaves, and the cucumbers as if a blimp had flown over in labor and dropped a litter.  If we expected the plants to continue to produce, I had to pull those huge gourds.  That first morning home I picked and dumped 8 buckets full.
            Gardens are taskmasters.  They don’t stop when it doesn’t suit your schedule.  They don’t wait till you have a free moment.  You must reap the harvest when it is ready or you lose it.  Every morning in late May and early June I go out to see what the day holds for me.  Will I be putting up beans or corn or tomatoes?  Will we have okra for supper or do I need to pickle it?  Are the jalapenos ready for this year’s salsa?  Are the bell peppers big enough to stuff or do I need to chop some for the freezer?  Do I need to make pesto before the basil completely seeds out? 
            And then you look for other problems.  Has blight struck the tomatoes?  Do the vining plants have a fungus?  Have the monarch butterflies laid their progeny on the parsley plants?  Have the cutworms attacked the peppers?  Has the ground developed a bacteria that is killing off half the garden almost overnight?  Do things just need watering?
            Childrearing can be the same way.  Children don’t stop growing until it suits your schedule. They don’t wait till you have a free moment.  You must reap the harvest when it is ready or you lose it.
            God expects you to carefully watch those small plants.  He expects you to check for problems before they kill the plants, and nip them in the bud.  It is perfectly normal for a toddler to be self-centered, but somewhere along the way you must teach him consideration for others.  Are you watching for ways to overcome his innate selfishness and teach him to share? Do you have a plan to teach him generosity?  It won’t happen by itself--you have to do it.
            Are you examining your children every day for those little diseases—stubbornness, a hot temper, whining, disrespect, or the other side of the “leaf”—inordinate shyness, self-deprecation, pessimism.  God expects you to look for problems from the beginning and try to fix them so your child will grow into a happy, well-adjusted adult, able to serve Him without the baggage of character flaws that should have been caught when he was very small.  Parents who ignore these things, thinking they will somehow go away when he grows up, are failing in their duties as gardeners of God’s young souls.  Those things will not disappear on their own any more than nematodes and mole crickets will.
            He also expects you to make clear-eyed judgments.  He may be your precious little cutie-pie, but you need to take off your tinted glasses and take a good look at him.  If you ignore his problems because you are too smitten to see them, you do not love your child as much as you claim.  Whoever spares the rod, hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him, Prov 13:24.  When I ignore the blight in my garden, it’s because saving the garden isn’t important to me.
            Have you and your spouse ever just sat and watched your children play?  Have you ever given any thought at all to the things you might need to correct in them?  If your schedule is too busy for that, then you are too busy.  Period.  Your children will keep right on growing, and without your attentive care they may rot on the vine. 
            You are a steward of God’s garden.  The most important thing you can do today is take care of it.
 
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table… Psalms 128:3.
 
Dene Ward